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When January hit and I found out their divorce was now completely granted, nakapangalan na sa akin ang bahay ni Dad sa Batangas. Parte iyon ng divorce nila sa paghati-hati ng ari-arian at may ibang properties si dad na ibinigay niya agad sa amin.
Kahit daw sa ari-arian, pwedeng walang makuha si mommy because of her cheating issue, pero dahil mabait si dad, at pakiramdam niya ay sobra na iyon, tanging ang bahay nalang pinangalan sa mga anak nila—sa akin. I now have the right to completely kick her out of our house, but I didn't. Unless she shows us another traumatizing thing, I might completely cut her out of our lives.
Lalo na ngayon na may ganoong naiisip si Jester. His thoughts were shocking. At his age, he was already thinking about death like it was a natural thing to say, which bothered me so much. Pakiramdam ko talagang napabayaan siya sa iPad niya, masyado nang nagmukmok, at kung ano ano na ang naiisipan.
After what my mom did, the only thing that's letting me let her visit my siblings is the fact that they're too young to understand things. Riri was craving her attention. Jester was sulking that he was ignored. Kung ako lang, kaya ko. Pero para sa mga kapatid ko, ibababa ko ang pride ko at hahayaan si Mommy na bumawi man lang kahit sa kanilang dalawa nalang.
Umalis si mommy sa pinagtatrabahuan niya, which I didn't ask for for what reason, but she wants to be a full-time mom for Jester and Riri in the meantime. She also promised she would cut off her connection to that man—which I don't care whatever she wanted to do about it since the damage has already been done.
Kaya naman pala gawan ng paraan, pero kailangan pa talagang ipamukha ang mga pagkukulang nila.
Hindi ko na hiningi na magbabago siya, o patunayan niya sa amin ng mga kapatid ko na nagsisisi siya dahil kaya ko naman silang alagaan. Ako nalang ang aako ng responsibilidad nila kung hindi nila iyon kayang gampanan sa mga kapatid ko.
"Dude, you heard the news?" siko ni Tyler sa akin pagkatapos naming mag-enroll para sa second semester.
"Ano?"
"Hindi raw nag enroll si Tejano this sem? Chloe isn't around too. Lumipat daw ng school?"
Lumipat?
"At may kumakalat na tsismis na pinalayas daw?"
What?
"Pinalayas?" I repeated.
"Oo, bro. I also heard his father disown him? I dunno..." he shrugged and pricked his pinky finger on his left ear.
Disown him? Pinalayas?
Biglang may umakbay sa akin. Nilingon ko si Rick na nakaangat na ang kilay. Tiningnan niya saglit si Tyler, tila ba may gusto siyang banggitin sa akin, pero dahil baka marinig ni Tyler, hindi itinuloy. And how did even Tyler get that news?
"Hindi daw mag-eenroll this sem at kinuha lang ang mga papers nila ng kapatid niya. May cut din daw sa pisngi. Anong nangyari sa lalaki mo?" kuryoso niyang tanong nang malingat si Tyler at naghagikhikan sila ni Ron sa kung sinong mga girls na pinag-usapan nila.
I shrugged. Umangat lalo ang kilay ni Rick sa akin, nanliliit ang tingin. Kung pwede sigurong sakalin niya ako, gagawin niya.
"Let's not talk about him, Rick. Drop it," sabi ko lalo na't hindi ako interesado kung ano man ang balita sa kanya.
Para sa akin, hindi na namin kailangang mag-usap. Sapat na 'yung nangyari. Naliwanagan na ako sa tanging pakay niya. He wants me to see my mother's dirt.
And what would he clarify? That he fell for me in the middle of it? As if that would even weigh. Our parents both scarred each other's families that it was already enough as a reason that we should not meddle with each other's lives anymore.
