How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus

A Slight Journey Into Something Beautiful

These buggies are voyaged all around the world and a fault could cause a decrease in production and possibly a decrease in our own fortune which would never do. I shall not allow one silver piece to be lost within my watch. Each metal piece upon these infamous works of art work in unison. Each piece of wood exquisite and cut precisely. Sometimes I wonder if production could increase if we had some created contraption like that of a metal like man. A machine if you will. One of high intelligence that could work with other similar machine men together to create these delicate masterpieces. My one desire would be this. I could only imagine the happiness I would feel knowing I would need not worry about any slight mishap. Oh, and if they had my mind? If I could recreate my own intelligence within these fabulous made-up machines. What greatness would be guaranteed by my authorship? It would truly be grand.

I shall tell you a little about the production although I shall not allow for too many secrets to pour from these lips nor my pen. It would not be to my benefit if a reader such as your self with much less of the capability of intelligent thought, thought to have found the secrets to eternal wealth. So I shall be careful with this ink well that flows so freely. Yes, let me begin. Upon the commencement of the assembly line, metallic pieces and wood are separated into their respective locales. Each piece is handpicked of course and carefully inspected for any defects of any kind to ensure the most excellent artisanship possible. Next the pieces are treated in chemicals that are only known to our company. 

This treatment was not created by my father nor mother, nor I for that matter but from a servant who still works within our household. I will not lie to you. This is often a blunder. I do not comprehend how someone with such little understanding could create something so superior, but I guess our intelligence must have worn off onto the poor boy. Or that it was purely by mistake which often occurs with many of an invention amongst humankind. From being told he was busy creating a chemical from leaves he had found in the garden and fashioned a substance that reacted with wood keeping it longer. 

It is a wonder my father, mother or even I did not think of it first. I guess we have been busy amongst our own dealings. And still, it is worth noting that it may be that he was rewarded handsomely of course. After all we are not monsters like other rich hooligans who treat their servants like dogs. We allowed him a free day off work where he could spend more time with his family. Of course it was with pay. Well I should say half pay. We would not want the help to expect too much from us but he was glad enough. He does not as far as I know get to spend much time with his wife and kids as he is always working to support them. If he did not have a job such as the one we have given him, his children would be unfed and hungry and we would not wish for that to be on our heads. 

A child dying is such an awful sight. One that I must turn my head from, or sometimes my whole exterior as such a horrible image may cause one to lose their lunch as they say. It makes it easier this way. It is better to ignore the deplorable that these help experience then watch their struggles. It is better off that such things happen in secret as to not cause UN-comfortability within my very being. As you can see dear reader. I am not a monster like some who would believe such a thing to be a spectacle worthy of its observance.

I apologize. I seem to have deviated from my initial dialogue of this beautiful factory and onto less important things. I will have to apologize for doing so. Should I say I seemed myself immoral in leaving what was truly important. Please bear with me. I often write of what I see and include my thoughts as I do so. So please do not become confused as one often does. I understand that this may seem a little harder for some. Do not get me wrong. I understand it perfectly although it is not a struggle I have experienced. For some readers it may seem dreadfully unclear at times as one would suppose whose mind has been dull from lack of use.