How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus

Le présent d'un futur. Une compréhension du passé

August 15th

I have pondered upon the events that have occurred the day before. And even as illogical as it may seem, this scenario that continues to play out within my mind would make the most sense in this particular predicament. That somehow this wall has channeled me through space and time to a past that I have heard so much about. And it brings me joy to see one and anger and sorrow to see another. The face of the one who abandoned me at such a young age. I can barely retain my soul as to not cause such harm to him that it would be impossible for me to ever come about and be born.

 But I shall not, as this world would miss such an adorable asset that the stars would cringe and mourn from my absence. If what I believe now is to be true then it will be difficult to no longer extend my rage towards such a man. This will be an awful test I shall not be willing to endure. My grandfather however seems to offset such madness and it is such a joy to have seen such a person as himself. Even as I spoke to him, I knew and understood how my own greatness had come about and thought to myself that the only reason he was not in a better place were for these insects gathered around him. These monstrosities born from a womb, like puss from a cut formed deep. I am deeply regretful to see him in such a mess. A mess that he has mistakenly placed himself in. If only I could help in some way.

 I as of yet have not seen my uncle, although it is possible that he has not been born as I know he is much younger than my own father would have been. However, I do wonder who this older human could be? Possibly some other relative? With this post-modern medicine, it would not surprise me in the least if a common cold would be the death of such a group or even something small as a paper cut. Not that the sickness would kill any one man, but the physicians of this time seem to lack the common sense that even my own servants have acquired. If there were another name to signify anything even less intelligent than a Neanderthal than this would be best implied here.

It is not efficient to continue speaking on the unimportant matters that plague my mind, but I will return to something more comforting. The conversation that I have had with such a hero. My grandfather. As you may already know this most splendid human being owns this house and many farms that he has allowed others to work on and have their residence. He has been rewarded handsomely for all of his endeavors and has taken on the responsibility of helping those around him who are not of his own flesh. Even as we spoke he explained to me how he had come into such a quantity of finds.

 Of course, reluctantly at first. My questions seemed to cause him to open up of a past life that he was not too keen of. He had always been well off. His father before him had acquired much by a different means. Granting, he was often asked to take part in his family business and yet, he often found it difficult to bring himself to do such things. As often as he did, it would cause him to cringe from such acts. He lacked the courage I believe, though truly he would say differently. To place these socially constructed ideals in the murky brown waters, buried beneath and charge full ahead into such a lucrative profession. 

You see my grandfathers father was a thief. One of great proportions. Not that I completely condone thievery as it is somewhat unfavorable, however this long-gone gentleman did what not many at that time would have thought to do. He did not steal from the poor, although they do not really deserve what they already have, but he took from those kings who did not take care of their kingdom. A pirate of sorts but greater than all before him. Those who would steal from great men such as my father or myself. And he supplemented any income, although it was not needed through another business where he sold tea and the bones of dragons. Yes dragons! A story for another time. I could only imagine him breaking through the defensive tactics of imprudent guards at night only to write up long business proposals to China in the morning.

 A real hero if you were to ask me. My grandfather did not go into detail as to how his own father would have accomplished such feats but this man who sat before me believed by using what was stolen for the benefit of others he could do away with his own legacy. He could create a new one that his own children and theirs could not be ashamed of. In truth, so far, I have no shame in what my great-grandfather had accomplished. His workings had helped in also transporting me to where I am today. To think that such a man could be born so different from his own father. So different from me! Is it possible that I could lack in some fundamental value that has caused me to differ from such a man so greatly? It is not something I wish to ponder. Even though it is something to think about. 

This man whom I admire greatly! Why have I not become more like him? Or in some ways I am, however, I strongly disagree with his love for those underlings he allows to work and form families upon his plot. Such a confusing mess. It is such idiocy to take on those who have less, but yet, he seems even more intelligent than someone such as myself. He must be wrong in some way. Yes! In thinking this over this must be the one flaw that causes him not to be even greater than he is now. As I only know two great men. He and I! I shall make it my duty to help him understand the greatness that may come about to these who think like one such as I. I just hope that he would listen. I shall not doubt him at all as he is after all wise and rational.

The conversation with this older mentor did not last as long as I would have liked as it seems he is always on the move. My grandfather is much a delight to see in person. But I wonder if this is all real.  I have taken the necessary procedures to inquire upon myself as to if I am actually alive at the moment. It would seem against all odds that I am indeed alive. And it may be best to stop questioning if this could in actuality be a reality in which I am not accustomed to. It would have been nice however if I were treated with a little more respect and possibly a bigger room, with larger plants and my own bathroom. 

Oh, how I miss the facilities that accompany my own time and the luxuries that spoil me and cause those ingrates to feel much degraded. I still do reminisce on the soft pleasantries that accompany such a vast amount of wealth in which men such as myself do rightly deserve. That blasted wall has taken away my most deserved rights and freedoms and I must figure out a way to return to where I once dwelt. I do feel well and believe it may be best to venture out to where it, I believe should stand. Although this physician that plagues me with his recklessness would beg to differ. It is a wonder how he came to his degree and still obtains a practice which only those with sense should achieve. It must have been that some man in authority was bribed in order for this old squire to find oneself in the livelihood of a physician.

 I could only imagine him rambling into a dean's office as his man looked upon his transcripts with a frown, only for this physician to lay down a bag full of gold coins and silver. And even as the frown appeared upon the dean's face it would soon dissipate so that a grin replaced its former adversary. Yes, this must be it. It would not surprise me in the least if the dean were to change his grades so that the lowest mark possible would soon be miraculously transformed to far beyond the required achievements. And words of confidence would have been placed above his dishonorable smile; this physician! As he turned his obnoxious lips upwards to hide his unproven intellect.

 I shall go regardless of this idiots' beliefs. It would be far more sufficient if I were to be a healer of some sort than any other of these misinformed, deceitful, general practitioners. But again, I shall not bother with such trivialities. My first priority should be to again find my way to the place where I first found this place. But I shall not today. It will be my daunting task for the day ahead. One that I must endure. Curse these men. Do they really believe that it is right for one such as myself to either walk or ride upon these unpleasant, disgusting, four-footed beasts? 

It would be a delight if they could come up with some sort of contraption capable of carrying me to my designated domain. One with seats made from the skins of the softest animal's fur and skin. Instead, I must journey and exhaust what little energy I do have. I shall not even speak of what I shall do to these nauseating dipterans (A insect if you are unsure dear reader), but shall leave as quickly as possible upon daybreak. I know I shall find my way home.