How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH THEM?

Well, I am here now amongst these others who I wish with all my might, and again, without triumph that they were cousins twice removed or altogether. Alas, not all good things come to those who wait, and I must say that they, even though I loathe it with a passion, are blood related to your young master. A trivial matter and yet quite a dilemma as for the life of me I do not understand how such earthbound crustaceans could be born from a superior breed. It makes no sense to babble on about these less than illustrious cousins of mine and may lay me in a horrible predicament if they do see me scribbling about their insignificant lifestyle

Well, if you can not recall behind my chariot, it is a buggy, smaller in size, and much less breathtaking in appearance. It was not on my mind to write of such an atrocity as I journeyed. Reluctantly, if I may mention, this ancient piece now existing within the confines of my father's families dwelling place, of which I have had no desire to mention it in all honesty, as the picture of such would not have been as stunning as that of an Anton Mengs within this journal of mine  is visible before my very eyes. However, I might as well speak of it now as they untie this old thing from my own fabulous contraption for use on their farm or whatever they wish to do with it. It is one I used in my younger days when my taste of things was less than agreeable to anything that I enjoy looking at now. It is much like drinking sour grape juice and drinking fine wine. One is good for a child, but the next is full of flavor and smells exquisite. Sometimes, I wonder if I should not come to some agreement with my parentage and create my own business within the wine industry. It would be splendid. After all, I do have a way with business and with time would create the greatest and most influential company that sold wine of all flavors. It would be such a delight to do so, but it might be a pain in the short run, as I would need to find the greatest wine sellers of this time and learn much of their secrets. And of course, in due time, surpass them all. Anyways, let us continue.

At the moment, the buggy is being pulled into a farmhouse for future use as I position myself on the veranda of my family's place of purchase. It is quite small in comparison to my own abode. In fact, most places are if you must know. Once you enter in this over sized shack, it is easy to understand that not all the family sleeps within the confines of this sty. The farmhouses seem to be a suitable place for such a large number, and they do not seem to detest the smell of animals where they lay. They only seem to come to the main residence for times of lamb chops, mutton, eggs, and such, which is the only reason I could ever desire to be here. Even if their dwelling has the appearance of a terrible act of violence their food is, I will say, exquisite, fresh and much more of a delight than what I eat often; I say, if you do not mind the smell of farm animals, which I do hate, detest and often loath. Nevertheless, the food is a welcome to one that would have such and such an appetite. I often feel sleepy after, and it is no wonder that all my cousins seem to be twice the size of I. It must be in the food they consume at random intervals in a fashion customary of that of these barn creatures they are so fond of.

My father, as I do believe, sends a specific amount of ready cash to these Neanderthals every month to help them. Although it does not seem like they need much help. Even though this land, which borders from ocean to mountain, is in his name, I heard him once say that it is what his father told him to do or would do. It is important to understand that I must respect these wishes, although I would be pleased so as not to. Not for my own father but for his as I hold him in high regard. But as for these spawn...

WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH THEM?

It is not in my interest nor my will to accommodate these men and women who have not dabbled within this business. I do not come to their place of dealing to ask them for the money they have earned from hard labor. Why should I give them anything from what I have earned from mine? It is quite nonsensical if you ask me. Oh, if you do not know what nonsensical means, it is a little play on word that I use often in my head. It is actually hilarious once you think about it. I would love to let you in on it, but I am sure it would be very tiring and possibly confusing for you to wrap your mind around something that should be so easy to understand. I in no way mean to insult you here as at other times. I clearly have done so previously if your feeble minds were capable of such a memory. However, some things can create confusion once said outside of one's head. And if I may add, in some cases, and in this instance it would be beneficial for those who were to read such a book to replace their rugged tools and pick up a dictionary for some learning of some sort. I would hope your reader would agree and appreciate such sentiment.

It is important to note that my grandfather, may he rest in peace, left a huge inheritance to both my father and my uncle. My father, being the intelligent man he is built the empire he has now, whereas my uncle used it for these farms... They did, however, as you may not know, work together at one point but fell away from each other on some minor details. My uncle of course who loves to see others build themselves up so to speak rents the smaller share of land he owns given to him from my own father at minimal fees to other farmers in order to grow and cultivate the land. He does, I guess, make a decent living but not enough to acquire the wealth we have grown for ourselves. It is actually pathetic and sad that two bright men could go in two directions. One for the betterment of others and the other the betterment of oneself.

 It would not surprise me if I attended a meeting amongst these country men, and they spoke evil of my uncle. Their voices would screech a detestable sound, not thanking him for anything he has done. These dirty ingrates do not understand how wealthy my uncle could be if he had only thought to think of himself. When I am older and with the same apparent wisdom that I clearly hold now, then I will find a way to retrieve this land, and then they will know what true hard work truly feels like. Oh, how I would love to make that a reality!

Excuse me, dear reader. Allow me to tell you of what we often eat here at this time, which is truly delightful. Asparagus with garlic and brown butter, chicken braised in a sweet wine and honey sauce then broiled too perfection, bacon with black peppercorn, green tea and for dessert a cake made from a chocolate we have accrued from the New World. I would never find such delicacies within my own home with such meager chefs. I may need to hire my aunt for help even though I am sure the town would disagree with her. She has always loved the farm life although I have promised her pay and good food my words were to no avail. I wonder if she would ever leave this lousy lifestyle. My aunt, by marriage, is the only woman I seem to get along with in this backward family. Granting, she does come from a less than favorable background and cares about the impoverished. She is a great cook and a good friend. She takes care of me well enough and listens to me when I speak out on family issues that I believe need rectification. I could only hope to find a wife such as her who would honor me in a way that a man such as myself would desire, and she would be my queen.

I often wonder what a relationship would entail with another woman. I have not seen many relationships that seem to be of use other than my aunt and uncle, whom I rarely interact with, as I do not have time to visit their place of residence frequently. It is peculiar actually how a man and a woman can come together and often be in such disagreement with each other, not knowing what or how the other is to be dealt with. The constant fighting and bickering are almost amusing to me, and it seems as if a man and woman are only meant to procreate to carry the father's name and the woman's bloodline. Their seems to be no real use to a man and woman entering into promise together other than for this purpose and I question why it would give any human being the audacity to tell of marriage as being such a wonderful thing. It is quite the opposite in my opinion and deserves to be thrown away like many other beliefs humans seem to follow in their quest of foolishness. 

I, for one, do not believe I could ever marry one woman. If I fall for some foreign tail and she needs these things, I will oblige out of whatever lust may befall me at the time, but all great men have had their concubines. I, for one, do not see the harm in it and shall have many. If it does not please her that I have found another woman or women who can satisfy in areas that she cannot, it is not a predicament at all to wave these precious metals and have her whisked away back to her family home. She must understand that this is my domain. If she desires to enter into it, it must be by my rules and my tutelage. Even so, there is a woman that has tickled my fancy; however, she is not someone who appears to be easily ruled over in such a fashion that I would desire upon her person.

POWER AND AUTHORITY MUST BE STRICTLY FOLLOWED IN ORDER FOR A HOUSEHOLD TO WORK

You, the reader, may wonder how such a young man could carry such wisdom in the dynamics of a relationship so intelligibly as I have. In all honesty, I have never enjoyed the pure agony of such a false pleasure. I do know a thing or two. Money and power can have you enjoy many physically, pleasurable pursuits at any age if one knows what he is doing. Granting, my father and mother do not know of my exploits, and I hope they never will, as they do not approve of such things. I shall tell you as of recent that I have enjoyed some aspects of a relationship. I will not speak of this any further for now as I may incriminate myself and in so doing shame my family name and its symbol of being pure before men. I may need to tear away some implicating thoughts within this diary as one can never be too careful.