No! This I shall not believe. It would be foolish for me to forget myself. Somehow this key has found me in a place that is poles apart from the world I am accustomed too. I would liken it to Hell if you believed in such a thing. Curse this wretched thing upon my neck. How am I to escape such a fate? I would have slightly accepted it, if I could have easily found the door, but this? What shall I do? Wait! But a moment. It seems that these Neanderthals have again decided to come in upon myself in which I shall not be entertaining. Again, but a moment.
The doctor seems to believe that I may have come from some far-off place, but not one that I have so imagined. Not a single soul has heard of any mortal as rich as I am accustomed to, and they could not even fathom a magical wall. He believes that somehow I have bumped my head and found some fairy-tale as a way for my mind to cope with whatever traumatic experiences I may have had in my past. He even had the audacity to name my story as rubbish. His cure was to knock me upside my head with a drill and feed me one half a glass of rum a day: Idiot.
I shall not take any physical harm to my own body lightly and in no way will I allow any substance to take me over as I have seen some in doing. If one does make such an attempt, it will not be difficult for my person to take upon myself some sort of weapon to protect this frame from whatever evil that has been advised. At least they did not ask for my person to be placed upon some furniture and to cause lacerations upon my body so that blood would flow. These jesters really should stay clear of me as it is not wise in my present condition to irritate me in any way.
It has already been three hours I would suppose, and my captors have not, of yet, came in to administer the prescribed remedy that this daft physician has currently proclaimed to be my fix. Bless the stars. I shall not have to deal with such a nitwit and his most ridiculous schemes. But I must find a way out of this current predicament. It is not at all fair that I must suffer as my life has been traumatic already. I could only imagine the smirk on my father's face believing that I have become a runaway. It would only mean that in so doing, he and his wife would be carefree and could run willy-nilly across the sands of Barbados. And I would guess, most likely, indecently naked.
That poor sap -- they would say as they sip on a fine wine upon one of his many adventures. If only parents could actually care for their children and not run off on their foolish escapades. But alas, it shall not bother me. As I know with them always around, I could not have grown into this fine specimen that you find writing before you. Most boys would become emotional over such a traumatic event; however, I am a man and have no use for such passions. I must continue to build upon myself a kingdom that lasts a lifetime.
If in anything at all I have found that some favor upon my parents leaving me has given me freedom to enjoy what most others could never attain. As these young ones fumble around in what they would term entertainment. I have already built what they could only dream of. They must watch me and drool like an underweight dog upon a chain as its masters gorge themselves on the sweetest cuts of beef. I shall gorge until my belly is fat and then some.
Again, I can hear these numbskulls on the outskirts of my room, and they seem joyous for whatever reason. No, I shall not bother to see what the commotion could be as I have already overused my energy for the day. I shall rest for the night and gather myself in the morning. Alas, before I do, it may be in my best interest to place some sort of contraption before the door in case they take heed to this false physician's orders. They may try his dimwitted scheme in attempting to heal me which of course may lead to my death.
Although such an end may be better suited than my current situation I am afraid. Again, but a moment. I have successfully placed the dresser before the door and do not believe it shall move from its current position. Even if they were capable of such a feat it may deter them once they realize, upon difficulty of the door budging and finding this furniture piece, that I have only wished to be left alone. In whatever decency a Neanderthal is capable of, they may leave and find some other thing to play with. Granting, I do believe the right word may not be decency as I do not believe there is any good amongst them.
It would be best said to be sheer stupidity as they struggled with a task that even the dullest parrot would complete in less then a minute. Even as I inspected their doors, I have not found knobs to turn and open the door with. Just wood that can be easily pushed back and forth. It would give me such a giggle to see them work upon the access of my own house and every room only to find it most difficult. And in their struggles possibly die of exhaustion when even the most senseless human being amongst my servants would know to turn then push or pull. But enough of this. I do need to receive rest upon these weary bones and worry about my escape for tomorrow. I only hope that as I rise they leave me something edible before the door.
Good night!
YOU ARE READING
How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus
FantasyHis name is Mr. Thaddeus. A young man born into wealth and prestige writes of his experiences with those who now serve under him from his own unique perspective. One that he speaks on the greatness of his own estate and himself. That is until a ver...
