How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus

To Kill A Beast of Burden

October 31st

These others have found me again and have told that I should remain in bed. They believe that it is not for me to go hunting with them any time soon. That whatever was wrong with my very self may return to my demise. Although I do not remember what they spoke of and may need to read again my writings for clarification. I believe in all honesty that I may have been attacked by some awful creature of some sort and do not recall what has ensued. As I cannot remember for the life of me what has happened. Mayhaps some bear of great strength and grit, in its hunger wished for my expiration and to satisfy its own belly. It would not surprise me in the least if I had done the impossible and murdered the great beast with a scythe like a Greek warrior or like that of an African Zulu fighter. I must compliment myself again. In being like that of a great combatant, I may have done what no other could. I shall try again with my bare hands and devour any large carnivorous creature using only the strength from within these terrifying arms. I shall again overcome.

It is morning and I have found myself among the living corpses that walk these halls. They seem wary of my presence as their expectations that I may and should be laid upon the comforter's upstairs still stand. I shall not however be one who is confined by any space. And just something I dare to understand, I am quite perplexed as to why my grandfather wished to go hunting with out me and left earlier than usual. I wished to try my hand again but nevertheless, if he shall not bring me with him, I shall go without these older senile men. It is not that I would hold my grandfather in contempt, so I shall allow this one to no longer anger me. 

He in some cases may have wisdom. Although I do not agree with him in this decision I will not allow for this temper to control my most awesome countenance. It would be better and beneficial for me to place myself upon the business of this farm and continue my work there he might say. So for today I will abide to his will as if it were my own choosing. Although it would please me greatly to reward myself outside of this forbidden place and find myself amongst nature. And yet, it would be truly grand to see more of these lands then I have been accustomed to. But a moment while I fetch the help of those others who should be named as my help.

Those others who reside in these decrepit stones also seem to have agreed with me for the moment and have sent for horses to accompany me to some place of bliss. I tire of the countryside and wish only to see the vastness of the Ocean. It is not often that I visit such and such a place, but it may bring a peace and calm so that I may think clearly of this matter. And what I speak of pertains to the situation of which I am in now. I must find some understanding into how I may rid myself of this time and these others. It is unbearable and it would benefit me greatly if I could only find myself back within my own place of residence to be pampered like a pharaoh in Egypt. To be dotted upon in my lavish lifestyle, in a more sumptuous dwelling with my extravagant, and handsome self. If it were not for these fond memories, it would be difficult to find joy within this dreadful place. I shall write again once I have reached my destination. It appears that both my grandfather and his own shall also be...

It has taken longer than I expected but upon arrival I have reached this end. The soft sands of the west. It is quite beautiful in all honesty. It would be grand to build a house upon these shores and behold their beauty as the waters crashed against the light copper sand. But alas, I am not in a place where I may call upon my servants and have such a place constructed. No, I am in this fiery place created for the wretched imbeciles that constantly plague me. Hell if you will. It has become apparent that my grandfather shall be here soon and his father may soon appear. 

My grandfather's servants have informed me that my fathers, fathers, father is a pirate of some sorts and must be careful in how he might approach us. It is warranted I believe as authorities and the kings' men are, as you may understand, on the look out for such a man to throw him under the bridge you could say. And this is not just a saying. They literally wish to throw him under a bridge in the hopes to drown such a Colt's tooth. Which shall never happen seeing that he does pass at a ripe old age. In his last days, as I know, he turns away from his old hoggledehaee way of living and decides to buy properties and land. Much of which my uncle uses to this day. It is quiet intriguing.

Upon arrival of such a man he looks upon me with much enthusiasm. Bowing down ever so elegantly with hat to chest like a true gentleman which seems to obscure his true nature. With such a fascination my countenance fell upon the look of him, and I returned such a sophisticated posture and grin. A moment later, my grandfather arrived on horse and buggy and these two ancestors of mine embraced with jolly good laughter. For some reason I find myself feeling something within me that is both exciting and confusing as it is not an emotion I am accustomed to. May hap I shall think on it later and decide if I shall allow a recurrence of such a sentiment. 

Upon pleasantries' custom to this time a large ship entered our view and a rowing boat that may have seen better days drew near to us. We are called forth and soon enter the small water wagon which whisks us away to our destination. It is then that my great, grandfather appears to be confused as he notices my voracious scribbling upon my notebook of events as they happen and looks to my own grandfather who only shrugs his shoulders. It may appear strange to such people for one such as myself to write both history and present but no matter. It will make such an interesting read for later times. Or dare I say, you the reader. Yes. It will most definitely be an interesting story indeed. It is too bad that I have not been presented more so in each chapter than I have so far. I do indeed believe it is quite sad and disappointing for you as well. It would truly be complete to see me in all my greatness but alas, you sit there with book in hand only imagining a glimpse of my most gorgeous person.

Upon arrival of my great grandfathers' pride and honor I have truly become fascinated by the extravagance of such a monstrosity. I dare say it is near in beauty as my own home and his servants more so. If it were any other time, I may have also become a pirate. To be encircled by such beauty would be exceedingly wonderful. It is a sensation to see such an attraction. Not only this ship but the very ocean and sea, the wind and waves, the sun whose light seems to caress with delicate, brazen fingers upon the very borders of existence. As I look upon the beauty of this scene it somewhat upsets me. That upon this land, this water, in the presence of a great light I am truly insignificant. 

Upon reflection and contemplation this is not a feeling or a thought that I have been often plagued by. The very existence of something greater than myself is not something agreeable to me but appears to be so. Have I not been upon the seas in previous pasts? Why then currently do I feel such a feeling? It must be this atmosphere. It is possible some item that may have only existed in the past has somehow falsified the true nature of my very self and caused what is false to seem true. That must be it. Yes! It is only a trick of my imagination but somehow this thought does not appear to be departing. It remains with me and despite all effort will not bid adieu. If only such thoughts could dissolve within minutes of my time so that I might be free of this wretchedness.