How To Survive In A Dump: The Diary of Mr. Thaddeus

New Treasures and Wonders Await

Upon arrival I find the door to be much more splendid than memory would allow. It appears to be designed from an unusually hard yet soft material. One significantly different than the wall itself and upon inspection still reminds me of the "magical wood" these natives speak of. I am not at all surprised as most things of beauty are created from these unfortunate trees. It is only a matter of time before they become extinct and their splendor shall no longer cover this land.

 Although I am sure that they survive in a place undiscovered as of yet. Nevertheless, for them to serve me in some way should be for these trees such an honor and privilege despite death being their fate. I must hurry however as it will soon fall dark and I am quite some ways from my own place of rest. I do wish I would have taken a buggy, but this may have tipped off my unwanted company and this would never do. I may have found myself with a cluster of hooligans ready and willing to take what only I deserve.

Upon my hands steady touch of this infamous key I found myself in instantaneous déjà vu. This beautiful little piece joined the door with not much interest and caused me to wonder if I had been under some sort of hallucination before present. But upon consideration it is quite possible that the key may have known my intentions and has decided there is no need of dramatics. It has already provided me with evidence of its peculiarity and loveliness to persuade me to complete the challenge it has so graciously offered. Blessed truly am I.

Once the key has thus turned, I find myself staring into a dark cavern with stairs that seem to lead upwards into the wall. On the end I suppose must be a treasure of some kind, the likes that no one has ever seen. One more beautiful than the heavens itself that would cause the very gods to swoon and plummet from their far-off home amongst the stars to frolic amongst men. One where I now cautiously walk across the threshold onto some reddish-blue carpet of some kind which seems like grass but much softer to the touch. It is to my surprise that the stairs seem to be made from the same material. I do wish this journey would end soon however as such places in such filth brings on such a queasy feeling. It is not my intention to stay here much longer and I do haste along the path to the top of the stairs only to find more stairs that lead down.

IT IS NOW THAT I MUST CONSIDER MY OPTIONS.

In my opinion it would be such a find as most times in such stories I have heard so much about a grand wealth that is found upon arrival of the required destination. Gold, jewels, diamonds and secrets to the past that would ensure my wealth for generations upon generations to come. I may even share with those less fortunate than myself as it would be so ginormous that none could ever duplicate such a find in any time that has existed before and after. Or it could just be a small treasure chest that I could add to my collection of gold for which I would not care to share. No, not even a small piece as I have given away such an abundance already.

 Not one gram would any eye behold. Why should I starve and have others enjoy some piece of mind? I do believe it may be in my best interest to follow through with the original plan however and I think I shall. I shall take the first step into my destiny and find my glory through these riches. So much so that the King will bow before me and his Queen will only hope to take my hand in marriage. I will be glorified across this land and beyond. Oh, how much favor I shall receive. What control I shall have as all bend before my will. I shall even rename this kingdom into something worthwhile like that of my name...

I seem to have made quite the tumble or fall and am bewildered as I do not know from where I came from or whence I was going. Oh yes, I was once traveling from the top most part of the wall which seems to have disappeared. Has some wild animal dragged my person further away from the wall towards those unmentionables? Those that reside across the wall in utter filth. Yes, that must be it. It has not been at all to what I expected as I look at my surroundings and find myself upon a muddy whereabouts. Far off I witness houses of some sorts much like the one my uncle owns, although I believe once I feel able I shall find my way to my most blessed home. This is such a dreadful place. Some sort of trickery I should imagine. It may just be a nightmare. One that I shall soon wake up from and be surrounded by gold and gold and more gold within the safety of my own abode. Although this may be difficult as I have seemed to twist my ankle and it may not be possible to walk or move in a predicament such as this. Oh curse the fates.

There seems to be those who would live in such a place moving about before me. Those filthy whom remind me of the help that prepare my own splendor. These mosquitoes make my body itch and I feel as if some other worldly creature has penetrated my exterior and has laid itself beneath my skin. I shall not cry for help as those who pass may cause me to fall dreadfully ill upon touch. It is a wonder that they have noticed me as of yet beside this blasted road. What an awful predicament has fallen upon me. Death would have been too sweet you see and may-hap, I do believe  I may have fallen onto the poorer side of the wall. It just disgusts me that they live here, or more so that I am amongst them. It gives me the giggles that such a species could survive for so long in such conditions. I must put away this writing for now as a young man enters near my person. I shall not fight it off as I have neither the strength nor will to do so. I do not believe I am capable of movement on my own. If I did, I would not allow such a flea to come upon me in the state that I have found myself in.

JUNE 21ST

I have woken up to a place far off from the little town. The young man who has kidnapped me seems very polite and welcoming as some would be I suppose. His father and not he, owns a farm but has gone off on some business venture of sorts and I am told he will return shortly. Upon examination of my clothes he seems confused as to where I am from, as he has never seen such a style. I tell him that where I am born I am of kingly estate and royalty. I have only come upon the peasants to speak to them from across the wall. Although I find it strange that he has never heard of such a thing as a gigantic wall. 

It is not for me to question such help at the moment as I must heal. And he appears intrigued by my wear and clearly believes me to be much more than just a poor peasant like himself. As I examine my surroundings it occurs to me that this home is so familiar. There are some differences I suppose but it does seem to have somewhat of a familiar feel to it and I cannot for the life of me understand why. But I shall not inspect at the moment as the food here is surprisingly scrumptious for those with such low accommodations. It must be a dreadful bore to breathe in such a place for so long...

As I sit here and ponder, I do wonder if the individuals of this family work within my own household or as part of the townsfolk. It may be a necessity that when this young man appears before me again that I may ask him of what his job entails in parts. Or if I may, I could also speak to his father when and if he returns. Although, it would also benefit this purpose if I were to ask his mother, sisters or brothers. I have not left my room as of yet to know who else may call this their abode. When the time comes I may ask this peasant to lift his attire so I may see the branding upon his body and know who he may serve under. Perchance it may have been a member of higher authority that I might speak to and give swift instructions as to the disciplinary action this young man should acquire.

I do feel healthy but I do love the attention I seem to be receiving along with this splendid piece of furniture. It is quite gentle to the touch, and I do not believe I have felt something as wonderful as of yet. The endangered animals used within the factory have come close to such. It is possible that they may have creatures of which I am not aware of. A matter that I shall learn of soon.

It is much later in the day and I seem to not have been able to wrap my mind around what this young man has said. It is a problem that such words even came forth from his mouth and I have begun to question what place I may have landed upon. I am not someone who is often or at all confused by anything as my knowledge is substantial so that I should understand all things. So I do believe even this I will comprehend in time. 

However, this place does not seem to be at all as to what I expected and I may need to speak to other townsfolk to understand exactly where I may be. I was told that the people here are mostly farmers and the town is made up of small businesses that sell goods or services that the farmers may not be capable of providing. What I find quite perplexing is that a place beyond the wall does not seem to exist for this little fellow. 

Even upon questioning family members they did not seem to recall such a thing. They believed that their land went on forever and he nor they had ever witnessed a gigantic wall that separated the people one from the other. It is not something I fully comprehend as the people who serve within my own beautiful home come from across this wall and so, these peoples also must know as well. Unless my own servants have all fibbed and in reality travel for miles just to work as my servants. 

Yes, this must be it. And yet, how have they not seen the wall when it is so very near and large enough to be seen by boats in the ocean? I shall investigate in time. Although it is not in my interest to do so today. I shall rest until the 'morrow and wake to go to where I have come from. I have had quite enough of such a poor, laborious, and mind-numbing people. This shall be all a nightmare that existed only in the denseness of a creatures far gone memory.