Your Struggles is What Creates Your Depth

HAPPY......---

(January 14th,2024)

When they tell me I'm stuck in my head
I can't help but feel ashamed sometimes
At the same time I feel envy that they can't comprehend what that even means to me

To just get outta my head
Like it's the easiest thing
And I'm just lazy
Getting outta my head
Is like running two marathons on oxygen
And wanting first place
But the oxygen always holds them back they need more
I need less

I don't understand how people ever got to know themselves without trauma
I was in the womb while my birth mom was getting beat on
I've met trauma before I even had a name
Without trauma I don't even know who the fuck I'd be

Getting outta my head isn't so easy
When I spent decades knowing it was the only place I was safe
Even in moments it tried to kill me

Or my anxiety that keeps me at home
The way I hid from the world in so many ways
The way every person that ever truly cared about me left
How I can't hold onto friends
Because eventually they leave
At least in my mind they are still with me
But I hate anything that makes me miss them
So yeah maybe most days
I want to get outta my head too...