Do you still cry? //Billie Eilish

audacity

September 18th:

-Lisa's pov-

My alarm went off at 6:30 a.m., and I reluctantly got up. After yesterday's unexpected events, I needed to clear my mind, so I decided to go for a run. I put on my active wear, grabbed my Air Pods, and headed out. Running always helps me sort out my thoughts.

As I ran, I thought a lot about Billie and how much her presence made my heart flutter, but the back-and-forth between us was anything but healthy for my mental health. I wanted a stable relationship, and I knew I wouldn't get that from her.

I played my go-to running song, Wings by Macklemore, and pushed myself to one of my best times ever, maybe because I was pissed af. 

During my cool down, I called Hannah and told her what happened.

"Bitch, you won't believe what happened yesterday."

"You're scaring me. Tell me," Hannah replied.

"Okay, so my parents showed up at my door with Billie. She had a bouquet and looked like an idiot, a good-looking one," I explained.

"What? Why? I mean, how did that happen? I don't get it."

"I don't know. Anyway, my parents left and went for a walk, and Billie wanted to talk. I told her there was no need to anymore, but she insisted.

We sat down, and she told me she was too scared to commit to anything serious because of the distance between us. I told her it was okay, but a text back or explanation would have been nice. She apologized and said it's okay if I don't want her in my life," I recounted.

"Lisa, you told her to leave, right?" Hannah asked, growing stern.

"Yeah, of course I told her to leave," I confirmed.

"Okay, good. So how do you feel now?" Hannah inquired.

"Well, I haven't finished the story yet," I hesitated.

"Oh no, Lisa. What happened after that?" Hannah asked.

"I shut the door, and a few minutes later, the doorbell rang again. I thought it was my parents, so I opened it. But it was still her. She pushed me inside against the wall and kissed me," I confessed.

"What the actual fuck?" Hannah asked, worried.

"We didn't do anything other than kiss. I swear. It was a lot of kissing, though," I admitted.

"And after that?"

"My parents came back for real, and my mom could instantly tell we made up. They took Billie to her hotel since her suitcase was still in their car. I don't know how they became besties all of a sudden. I don't know what the fuck my parents were up to in the first place," I explained.

"What do you mean, her hotel? Is she staying in the city?"

"Yeah, her flight doesn't leave until Wednesday," I explained.

"Listen, Lisa, I won't tell you what to do, but you know my opinion about her. You need stability, and she's constantly changing her mind. I don't think you're emotionally stable enough for someone like that. I love you, but I have to go. I'm super busy, please just don't do anything stupid." Hannah said.

"Yeah, I know. But she gave me a second chance when I fucked up, so I thought maybe I should, too. I don't know. Love you. Thank you for listening. Bye," I said, and we hung up.

Back home, I took a cold shower to support my muscle regeneration before logging into work at 9 a.m. I completed my usual tasks and worked on my script for automating data collection.