Do you still cry? //Billie Eilish

don't you?

September 20th:

-Lisa's pov-

"Okay, go ahead.", she said with a worried expression on her face.

"So, do you remember when you got a little jealous at Elias' party in the summer?"

"Yeah," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"I told you that he and I have always been close friends and used to have a crush on each other in our teenage years, but nothing ever happened, right?"

"Yes, why are you saying it like that? Please tell me nothing happened between you two today, Lisa."

"No, not today."

"When, if not today?"

"Last Friday."

"Okay, and like what did you do with him?" Billie asked, a little pissy.

I didn't say anything at first. I knew she wouldn't be too happy to hear about this.

"We went out to party with all my friends, and around 5 a.m., he walked me home. But the first train back to our hometown wasn't leaving until 6 a.m. So I offered him to come upstairs so he wouldn't have to wait at the train station, and then, yeah..." I said.

"You slept with him?" Billie snapped at me.

"Yes."

"Did you fuck with him to forget about me or because you wanted to? Like really wanted to?"

"Both, I guess. I like him; he is a super nice guy. But also, I was hurt af and needed someone to distract me from you. You told me you loved me and how much you wanted me, and then you just left without a trace."

Billie looked down, shaking her head without saying anything.

"I called you 23 times in 3 days. How do you think I felt?" I added

She said nothing.

"Please don't just go silent again, Billie. I told you I needed the distraction, and he was there. We always had a little something for each other, so I don't know; it just happened. I felt so lonely and wanted to make that feeling go away. And I feel guilty because I think he is in love with me now," I explained.

She lifted her head and looked at me with teary eyes. "I don't really know what to say."

"I just wanted to tell you, come clean because I don't want to have any secrets with you moving forward."

She said nothing.

"I know you probably feel hurt or even a little rejected now, right? Can you understand why I did this, though?" I asked, rubbing her waist, trying to comfort her.

"I guess, but it still sucks to hear," Billie said.

"I get that. I'm sorry, but I wanted to tell you and be honest. I didn't know if I'd ever hear from you again, and you seemed not to care about me at all while Eli kinda did."

"Don't call him nicknames. I'm gonna throw up," she said, still not looking at me.

"Please talk to me. Are you okay? Are you mad or sad? What's going on inside of you?" I said, pulling her in.

"I don't know. I feel a little sick, and it makes me sad. I hate that somebody else slept with you only days before I came back. And you said he is in love with you now?"

"We talked about it today. I told him I wasn't interested in him, that you are moving here, and that I like you—a lot. And that you are my priority," I said.