haruka's girlfriend | denji x reader (DISCONTINUED)

8 | hospitalized

"Our top story for this week has been the student devil attack on Tokyo High School. New information arises about the case. Authorities revealed Yuko Fuji, the student responsible, has mediated this senseless murder to attack four beloved students in particular..." The TV sang. The hospital was dimly lit as you slouched onto Haruka's shoulder. He was in the hospital bed, resting from his attack.

"...Chainsawman appeared just in time before any more casualties occured."
Luckily for us, nothing too bad happened to Haruka. But poor Seigi, he had lost an eye. You looked at your boyfriend, staring at his frustrated face. He was shaking like a leaf, even still.

"Can't believe I missed Chainsaw Man." He sighed.

You sighed, too. "I'm glad I got you out before anything else happened."

"Wish you didn't." He said.

Anger struck you in the face, and you bite down on the inside of your cheek. You paused, making sure not to let your disappointment crack through. "And what if you lost an eye, just like Seigi?"

"At least I would've seen him in person." He said.

"So you're implying I shouldn't have risked my life to save you at all?" You stood up abruptly.

"What, no? No one said that?" Haruka furrowed his brows, his face weaving in discomfort.

"You didn't have to." You folded your arms.

"What are you upset about?" He asked.

"You." You said.

"I almost died three days ago. Please, (y/n). A headache from you is the last thing I need." He snuck into his propped up palm, rolling his eyes as he looked away. "Besides. Isn't saving people enough? Just be happy for me."

You gritted your teeth. "You don't understand me." You said.

"So sorry. Are you the one being accused in a hospital bed? All I want to do is rest." He said. "Think of someone other than yourself, you're giving me a headache." He huffed.

"You could be more appreciative of me." You said.

"What, (y/n). What do you want me to say, huh? What do you want me to do?" He said. "You won't be satisfied with anything I do." He looked away, turning his whole body to you as he leaned off to the arm rest on the other side of the bed.

He was right.
You wouldn't.

Guilt crawled up your spine. "Our relationship is getting boring, Haruka." You said.

He turned sharply.

You didn't say a word.

"What do you mean? We do fun things all the time." There was a hint of fear gleaming in his words. "We go on fancy dates, I take you to the movies, I buy your clothes, everything you want. It should be- It is perfect." He said.

"I don't know... What if life could be simpler than that... What if I came over and we just... Talked. And... laughed."

"We do! We do that all the time." He said.

"We talk about Chainsaw Man. You laugh." You said.

"What are you saying?" He said.

"We should..." you paused, "F-Find better hobbies. Do more things that I like." You mumbled lowly.

"Okay... Sure. When I'll get better we'll go..." He paused, waiting for you to finish.

You pursed your lip in thought. What fun things do you do? When you're not studying, in your clubs, or at cram school.

What would be fun?

"Karaoke." You said after a short while

"Alright, my love. We'll take the club out for Karaoke. You can invite Hikari and your friends for a big party." He smiled.

Your heart drooped in your chest.

"Okay." Your voice went painfully quiet. A ping hit your chest, a painful one you couldn't even swallow.

Slience reigned in the room. You heard everything so loudly now. The Television, the rain hitting against the windows, the air conditioning blowing in from the ceiling. You couldn't bring yourself to look at his face either.

"I'm... I'm going to go get something from the convenience store... Did you want anything." You said. You stood up and slung your purse onto your shoulder.

"No. Nothing." He said, his voice ever so quiet.

You've never stepped out a room so fast in your life, your heart burned for every step you took. You covered your mouth, you lowered your gaze, thise pesky tears again burning down your cheeks. They hurt to, they hurt against you skin, they hurt as they caused you to bump onto people, they hurt as you ran out the hospital and into the bitter, cold air. You took out your gloves from your coat, you shoved your hands into them as your finger tips began to freeze.

Denji's face flashes in your mind. His breath, his lips, his words, his eyes filled with such soul. Your foot slipped against rhe wet sidewalk, and your body came crumbling down to the floor. You caught yourself with your hands, and now on your hands and knees, all your dignity blew from the window.

A heartless cry slipped out your lips, fueled by the longing, the guilt, the shame-- the regret-- that burned in your lungs.

Regret that you chose Haruka that rainy day; regret you pushed him away; regret that he would never want you again; regret that you chickened out of a breakup.

Regret, that you chose success over true fulfilment.

Denji.

Now you were going to pay for it. There's nothing you can do about it.

Sniffling, you stood up to your feet, hobbling around and into the convenience store. A wash of pure emptiness weighed over you. In the motions, you bought the same drink you always did, returned home to the same boyfriend the same way you always did, kissed him, called your friends, went home, ate dinner, showered, skincare-- the routine goes on and on.

You were trapped.

There was nothing you could do.

You will never know fun ever again.

-
Next chapter will come out later today