I shattered my own soul

Too close

I get frightened when people get too close

What if I'm not what they would like me to be?

What if I am too much?

What if I am not enough? 

What if I am too hyper?

What if I think too much?

What if I am too cynical?

What if I'm not enough?

I might be too much

I might be not enough

But forgive me

I was raised by doubt

I was raised by loneliness

I was raised by the great nothing

So my hyperactivity is because everything has an end

So I need to do as much as possible

I am too much because I am trying to convince myself I am here with a purpose

Although I do not believe it

I am cynical because it is easier than believing in goodness

I have learned humans aren't good

So please keep your distance

And forgive me

I am trying to change

I have hope 

But I also have pain