I shattered my own soul

Dearest brother

Dearest Eitan,

I have a simple question
Why do you need pain or alcohol to write of love or affection
Your suffering might just seem in vain
But everything you once used to say was related to joy is only a contrast to pain

Ethan you look so familiar because I once was you
The bottles of wine and pills are nothing but future puke
When you regret your choices
Wishing you hadn't listened to the voices in your head
Or perhaps wish you had
Because who is to decide what those voices should have said
I wonder what thet would have said.....

How are your friends?
are happy back home?
I tried to move to the mountains but I'm still missing Rome....

Lovely Mikha'el,

I don't really want to be a human anymore
I dream of being a a river knowing where to flow
Or an oak tree blessed to grow
I can't say I'm happy now
I can't say I hate my life
But goddamn
We all believe we have a calling than why do I hate the road I am

Unfortunaly I must confess you are not wrong about writing
But it seems I do not hate it
Some people get mental health
Some people get a father
Some people get a love
We got a black hole and an absurd amount of hope

I can't lie Mikha I've imagined your death
I can't go with you so I'll stay in bed instead
And you'll be sleeping in the pine box far under
But I'll be stuck here on earth dammned to breathe
Family is and family was
It is cruel if the god you say is real
Why does he let a damaged bird fall instead of heal

I tried to move to the country but I am still missing h̶o̶m̶e̶ Rome