My beginning and the end (Completed)

Acceptance, hope, and happiness

I didn't accept, nor did I reject his proposal.
I jumped into the lake and let myself sink down, down to the bottom less pit. I felt myself losing consciousness as I looked back up at the light of the moon shining in the water, sparkling its reflection throughout. It's beauty always seems to amaze me, even in the darkest of times. The last thing I saw before I drifted away into the unconscious abyss.

My eyes opened slowly as I laid in his arms. I coughed up water, almost choking on it. He lifted me up, and more water spilled out of me. I rested back down I to his arms. He was calling out to me, but I wasn't there. I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I let them stay closed. I heard he was crying out to me. I wanted to let go, but he kept me trapped within his linger. He was moving me around in his arms hastily.
I was aware of it all until finally I could rest.

- - -

I didn't want to wake up, but then I did.
I was lying on a familiar bed. I recognized the room immediately. We were back in his cabin again. I was no longer in what used to be my designated room, but in his room. I looked to my side, and he laid there sleeping next to me. He looked so weary and restless. I turned to face him, and he shifted around a bit. I gazed at him, analyzing his every feature.

He must've felt my eyes staring upon him as he awakened. He looked at me, relieved with a smile. "I thought I had lost you again." He said as he placed his hand on my face. "How could you lose something you never gained." I anwesered him back. "Well, I have you now." He said back. I couldn't help myself but smile, I hated that I did that, but I couldn't help it.

His presence was no longer menacing. It was comforting, lovingly. I knew I shouldn't feel that way, I couldn't stop it. I don't ever want to get attached like that, especially when it's him, not again. I took his hand and placed it in mine. We shared eye contact as I said to him softly, "I can't let you make me trade my own happiness for your love." I told him. "But I promise I'll make you happy, happier even. I'm willing to do anything for you, even if it meant nothing to you." He answered eagerly. "You're not listening, Damien. I had happiness, and I'm not willing to lose that happiness for you, or anyone really," -"It was my happiness and my life. It was mine." I explained to him. "You're my happiness. You're my life, and when I lose you, I have nothing." He said back quietly this time. He doesn't quite realize my point here.

He would have to understand sooner rather than later, even if it took an eternity. "I'm just an illusion of hope for you. Nevertheless, I'm not the hope you need." He looked at me with sorrowful eyes as I told him that. It hurt to see him like that. There was nothing I could do.

I let go of his hand and stood up. He hadn't locked the door, so I walked out. I held myself together as I walked out onto the porch. I sat down in the same place as I did the last time I was there. I looked out to see the sun rising this time. I whimpered as I saw the sun beams peaking through the trees again. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

I wasn't sure where my heart was anymore. I felt I should care for him, but my head was telling me to run. I didn't run again this time. I didn't intend on staying either. I sat there on the porch for a little bit, contemplating what I should do and feel. Nothing was clear in my heart. I didn't know how to feel, but I knew how I felt. My head was telling me to fight him and take his car keys and run. I would have done it if I could. There was no chance of me winning, so why even try. I looked back inside to see if he was there. He was still inside his room. I could put on my shoes and run for it, so I put on my shoes and went back out.