Till the sky loses it's color

chapter 22

NASH POV

habang nasa tabi ako ni clarice hindi ko namalayan na unti unti na palang lumalayo sa akin si archi. Hindi ko intensiyon na saktan sya pero iyon ang ginagawa ko. My precious baby, I hurt her.

That time when Clarice went to rooftop, sinundan ko sya. I hug her, she was beatin up by her own father. Umiyak sya ng umiyak, dahil sa awa ay sinabi kung pwede akong maging tatay ng anak nya, na ang dahilan ng unti unting pagbabago ng relasyon naming dalawa.

Clarice kiss me, but I push her, not to hard. "mahal pa kita" Clarice says.
"mahal kita bilang kaibigan, may mahal na ako clarice, si archi" saad ko
"um... yung umalis kanina ng makita tayo?" tanong nito kaya na pamura ako at dali daling umalis.

"mahal mo pa sya" sigaw nito.
"you heard it wro-" she cut me off.
"tangina!! rinig ko!" she curse

I tried to say 'let me explain'. but she didn't listen. She's tired, because of me, I hurt her, my baby. she even said who was I saying baby. it's fucking hurt while she was crying. I even kneel infront of her.

"maghiwalay na tayo" with that she turn her back on me and walk away. No. no. no.I tried to run after her but thania block me.
"wag mo syang sundan kung ayaw mong mas lalo  syang magalit sayo" kita kung nagagalit sya sa ginawa ko sa kaibigan nya na naging kaaway nya.

"Sana hindi ko hinayaan na maging kayo kung sasaktan mo lang sya" what she says echo in my mind. Umalis sya kasamang bago nyang mga kaibigan. I was dumbfounded.

I locked myself in my room. Everyone was knocking on my door. I tried to cut myself, drown myself in the bathroom to die. Ayaw kung mabuhay kung alam kung hindi ko sya makakasama. Love...

I was yelling her name. suddenly the door open and 3 man with a white coat came approach me. While I saw my friend coming rush toward me. They were yelling but I don't understand. All I could hear is echo.

"nash!" humarap sa akin si Lawrence. Niyugyug nya ang balikat ko ngunit tiningnan ko lamang sila ng blanko. I don't feel anything. Sunddenly my vision become blurry and after that I black out.

I walk up and the first thing that I saw is white, no one else but white. I look at myself, they put some dextrose in my arm. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko dahil sa kirot bago bumangon. Then again I remember what happen, archie did leave me, she doesn't love me anymore. I felt a liquid came rushing down to my cheeks.

"archie..." I said as if she was here. I tried to stand up as I saw some window next to me. My life is nothing if she would never come back to me.
Marahas kong kinuha ang dextrose na nakalagay sa kamay ko at may bahid iyon na dugo. Hindi ko nalang iyon pinansin at simulang maglakad patungo sa bintana.

I tried to open but it was locked. I never give up and tried again, this time I use all my strength and successfully the window open. I couldn't think straight all I want is to die. dahan dahan kung inakyat ang bintana, I was ready to face the death. But suddenly the door open and the man with a white coat came rushing toward me. they stop me but I figth back.

I felt weak as they injected me with something. My knees were weak and my mind became block. I passed again.

I walk up and then they tie me up with clothes. I couldn't move my body nor my feet. they are all tied up, I want to go out to this hell and just wanted to die.

Next day they put me into the next room which I don't care. Pinaupo nila ako sa harap ng salamin kung saan nakita kp ang pagpasok ni Clarice. I saw hurt in her eyes but I don't care, all I want is my baby, archie...

"nash, I'm sorry" she was saying something that I don't even understand. I look at her blankly.

"I'm sorry to you and to archie" my hearing back to normal as I heard her say my Archie's name.
"A-archie?...." the first that comes to my mouth. tumango naman sya at umiyak. Wheres my archie?

"where is she?, did she come back?" masayang tanong ko. I didn't hear any answer to her. I was waiting on what she would say. My archi didn't really leave me.

"w-wala na sya, umalis na sya" what she said broke me the most. no. no. she would never leave me. my baby.  no..

"it's not true, your Lying!" sigaw ko. she was just lying
"iniwan ka nya!" sigaw nya, I punch the glass infront of me. Their's person came toward me and tried to make me calm but I couldn't.

My eyes became teary again. I saw someone, probably a doctor? approach her and say something to her but I don't care, all I want is my archi!

"N-nash.." she utterly call my name, umupo syang muli at humarap, there is boundaries in Front of us the glass.
"I was lying, b-babalik sya, hintayin mo daw sya" myself calm down hearing what she said.

"ang sabi pa nya, kailangan mo raw magpagaling bago sya babalik." I happily nod.
"I will, wait for me" I whisper the last sentence.

Sinubukan kung bumalik sa normal. day by day  I keep on reminding myself that I should fix myself before she comes home. And waiting for her comes to month, years. Slowly I loss hope that she would come back. at night I was crying and praying that someday she would come, she will go home with me.

At Humantong na sa 3 taon, where I finally can go home. Everyone was happy, my friends only them now that I was in mental hospital for three years not even my parents know it because they were at Italy.

I was graduate as noe a pilot, I own our airline now, clarice gave birth to euva, I treat euva as my daughter she was like my Archie, the strong girl that I know. But it felt always empty as if I was hoping for something or maybe someone, she will come back to me.

My wish were come true she did come, i was happy that we can still be but reality hits me. She moved on already while I keep on waiting on her. When were going on a trip, that night that I will set her free even how much I tried to stop myself from keeping her.

When they fall asleep I left. Pupunta ako sa psychiatrist ko for check up. He said its good for me to forget the thing that keep my past be back again. How can I forget my love, my one and only. It will be back again if the past will come out. I'm afraid if that would happen, I won't let anyone tell her what happen to me a year ago.

"what do you wan?" I ask in the phone, clarice was calling me.
"pwede bang Ihatid mo ako sa hospital. my husband is at work, I don't want to disturb him" pumunta naman ako sa bahay nila at hinatid sya papunta sa hospital.

Inalalayan ko sya dahil limang buwan na syang buntis. Sinabi nya sa akin na mauna na ako dahil magpapasundo lang sya sa kanyang asawa. tumango naman ako at umalis. Pupuntahan ko sya, hindi ko pala talaga kayang mawala sya, I risk everything just to be with her but if it's possible I will stop when she will be the one to say that she don't want me anymore.

She was flying back to US. It's good thing that I'm the pilot. The moment whe land on the Airport of US she was still sleeping. She couldn't believe that I follow her. She was annoyed by me.

I won't give up on her. but destined make it even more difficult. we were at the paris and going back To US the day she said she don't want me anymore. It broke me the pain feel like a year ago where she leave me, it was double this time.

I'm in my hotel room laying at my bed as I'm tired. I close my eyes and took a nap. It was morning and I was alone, I took a sip of my coffee and watch the sky as the color of the ocean reflect into it.

I'm going back home this weekend. I start to pack my thing, its not that I give up on her. baka sagabal lang ako kaya uuwi ako at mamuhay ng tahimik habang mamahalin sya sa malayo.

I smiled and put my glasse on. today is where I go back home. Ang bilis ng panahon, sanay bigyan ako ng malawak na panahon na mapagmasdan sya sa malayo habang masaya sa kanyang pamilya.

Dadalhin ko kahit saan as puso ko ang babaeng minahal ko, sya ang may malaking parte sa puso ko na hinding hindi ko makakalimutan.

I will never forget about you my love"

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:)
slowly updating, near the end