10 || I couldn't take it
the rest of the day seemed dragged out. It began raining by last period which made me groan in annoyance. just my luck, I don't have an umbrella which is inconvenient for a girl who walks home everyday.
the bell rang everyone stood up from their seats and hurried out the door, wanting to get to the comfort of their home as soon as possible. I on the other hand wasn't so much in a rush. I felt saddened, my mood has been down all day. the knot and sickness I felt in my stomach became too familiar. I felt alone. In a crowd of people at 2:30 pm, I felt alone. A feeling I was tired of facing.
I jogged down the school steps with my book bag held against my side tightly. students were getting into their cars and opening up their umbrellas. I took a quick look around hoping I'd see alexis or samantha, but I didn't. no way I was going to wait in the rain for them to show up. they've probably already left, after all they did have that party to get ready for. now that I think of it, i'm no so sure about going. I just didn't feel good and didn't feel like putting myself in the position of sitting at a house party all alone with a drink in my hand, and no shawn by my side on a roof.
I already began walking a few minutes ago. The rain fell down upon my body, rain drops racing down my cheeks, hair now damp. It was cold and I had my arms crossed over my chest, head hung low as I dragged my feet down the final street to my house. It came into view and I decided to run the rest of the way.
my mom's car was parked outside. dad wouldn't be home till later today and Jason had a job interview. money was tight, mom was stressing out, and Jason promised her he'd help out as much as he could. times like this I hated myself and how I was. if I wasn't such an antisocial depressing debby downer I'd be able to help fend for my family. I'm already in my sophomore year of high school I'm eligible for a job, even if it's a simple one that pays minimum wage. eight dollars an hour equals sixty-four dollars everyday I work. That'd help, but I'd probably come running home in a panic after my first day.
I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, dropping my book bag by the door and kicking my shoes off.
"mom!" I called out for her as I walked up the stairs. I could hear her television on in the bedroom she shared with dad.
"i'm in my room." she yelled back.
"i'm home! and I'm drenched.."
the sounds from television stopped and her bedroom door opened. she stood at the door with a sympathetic look on her face. "i'm sorry, honey. I didn't check the weather this morning, slept in had a lot in mind."
I completely understood. I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead then gave a her a understanding smile before making my way into my room.
the party starts in a few hours, leaving me time to just relax. I didn't want to get sick by leaving my hair wet on this chilly day so I took the time to dry it off a little with my towel, then blow dryer. my natural hair was a bit wavy. I don't usually leave it this way, but it didn't look bad I just preferred it being straight. truthfully, I was too lazy to sit in front of my mirror with my legs crossed running my straightener down my hair. Instead I plopped down on my bed, turned on my radio and read my book for english. I'd get ready later on.
•
" wear that dress I left at your house the day of the sports dinner last year.. "
alexis texted after I got out of my shower. last year she brung two dresses to choose from, but the one she left wasn't exactly appropriate for the occasion.
I stood up from the bed and went into my closet. The dress was in a bag up on the top shelf. I took it down then removed it from the bag, taking a look at it. the dress was a tight black one with laced sleeves. the music was still loudly playing in my arm and I practically danced into it after dropping my towel. It did fit I guess the way it was supposed to. It wasn't big on me, but surely it was short. I felt unsure about it. I've never stepped outside my house in something this revealing and short. My legs were definitely flaunted more in this than it was in my comfortable t-shirt dress that fell to my knees.
I stood in front of my mirror in my dress and was ready to put on some light makeup which basically consisted of concealer for my under eyes and lipstick. i'm not one to bother with a whole routine. the song that was just playing stopped. I could hear the front door downstairs being slammed making me drop my bottle of concealer onto my dresser then rush to my radio, shutting it off so I could hear.
I pressed my ear against the door, hoping it was jason just being dumb and allowing the door to just slam closed, but I could hear someone angrily stomping up the stairs.
"seriously, cynthia? where the hell are you.." my dad yelled. here we go. another pointless argument they'll have in their room, thinking I won't notice their harsh whispers. I walked back to my dresser and began applying my lipstick and concealer. the faint bags disappeared eventually.
"richard!" my mom yelled from across the hall, soon after the sound of something falling over and breaking was heard. I quickly ran towards the door, swinging it open.
"mom?!" I yelled out in worry.
"were fine, scar. go back into your room." my dad shot back. he was stupid for thinking for even second I'd do just that. I hurried over to their room and banged on the door.
"mom, what was that?" I was ignored.
"how many times do I have to tell you not to call me while I'm at work? you like making me look stupid in front of my co-workers!" My father spat harshly. i've heard them argue before, but i've never heard him to speak to her so harshly. I could hear my mom's sobs.
"I wanted you to pick up scarlett from school today! It was raining she had to walk home in the rain! your little girl had to walk in the rain!" she cried. tears stung at my eyes, I didn't know what to do. they were arguing because of me and the only thing keeping me from holding my mother in my arms was the locked door in front of me.
"leave her alone!" I screamed after I heard a loud bang against the wall followed by a scream caused by fear coming from my mom.
"I go to work every single day to make money for this family! i'm keeping this family together while you take days off!" his voice got louder and louder each yell. I was sobbing by this point, my fists numb from all the pounding against the door.
I couldn't take this. they continued yelling back at each other. I wish my mom would just leave the room and stop yelling back, he'd never allow her to have the last word he'd just get angrier and angrier. I clasped my hand over my mouth as I cried and ran down the stairs not bothering to grab anything. I pulled the front door open and sprinted down the street, shawns house in mind. alexis most likely was already at the party I had absolutely no motivation or intentions on going to.
