20 || morning after
shawn didn't drive me home. the only person that i wanted to be with at the end of all the madness was him, and things were sorted out. at least for us.
i believed everything shawn said. maybe i'm being naive, but he's the only thing that has felt right in forever. there wasn't a single part of me that feared shawn or felt i should. he has always been so gentle around me and personal, sharing things with me that he assured no one else really understood. that being his music and hopes for the future despite the unfair circumstances.
that's exactly what it is, unfair. shawn deserves to leave this town and live the life he dreams of every night. as i laid on his bed with my head rested against his pillow while he slept downstairs on his couch, i felt helpless. which is what i'm sure he feels everyday, but what i wanted to do was make his life better and all i could think of was nothing.
jason called my phone a bunch of times. i didn't bother to answer any of them, just told myself i'd call him in the morning after resting my mind and thoughts away. as for now i just kept thinking. right when i felt my eyelids get heavy and slowly shut, they widened and i jolted up. i searched all over the bed for my phone and when i finally retrieved it i searched all over social media for lauren. i thought maybe i'd find her easily through sammy's followings, but it wasn't that simple. it took some time but eventually i found her through shawn which was strange. not just on his part, but mostly hers.
why would she have shawn online if she basically ruined his life along with her other friends? why him, but not sammy?
i looked through her photos and she was a pretty girl. looked happy in most of her photos, but they were mostly old. there were only a few times i really paid attention to lauren at school. she was always quiet and reserved just like me. no one really spoke with her for long or even paired with her when we shared the same english class. the person in the photos didn't seem like the person i would see in real life.
one seemed happy and the other seemed empty.
i kept scrolling and immediately noticed a photo with her and jade. then another, and another, and another...
they had a lot together and all i could think of was how hurt lauren must feel, but if she was so close to jade why didn't she tell the truth about her death? asking myself these questions and pondering the answers wasn't enough. i sent her a short message and hoped she'd respond by the morning then snuck downstairs to the living room where shawn was fast asleep with his blanket hanging off the couch.
i picked it up slowly then carefully climbed in beside him. he stirred a little and i waited for him to stop until i could rest my head on his chest, my arm wrapping around him tightly. my eyes shut and i pressed my face against his shirt, taking in his scent that made me smile. he stirred once more and this time wrapped his arm back around me then pulled me in closer. our legs were now tangled together and i knew tonight would be the best sleep i've had in a long time.
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i woke up in the morning to the sound of something scraping against a pot and sizzling. then the smell of bacon hit me and my eyes fluttered open while my hands searched for shawn. he groaned when i accidentally hit his face with my palm and i quickly sat up to only see his mother across the room from us cooking.
i've only met shawn's dad, but it wasn't even a proper greeting. now i was only a few feet away from his mother while tangled up with her son on her couch. i could only imagine what she must think of me. not knowing what to do, i decided to shake shawn. before i could even begin his mother's voice stopped me.
"good morning, dear!" she chirped, leaving me confused. i smiled brightly at her then stood up from the couch and fixed myself up.
"good morning, mrs mendes. that smells great." i began waking over to where she was.
"well i hope it tastes just as great for you guys. call me karen." she said, stepping away from the stove to come and hug me.
i was even more confused, but i didn't mind what was happening right now. it just isn't what i expected.
"you must be scarlett. i've heard a lot of good things about you. i'm sure you can guess by which one of my children." she now laughed, going back to flipping bacon. this made me smile.
"sleepyhead over there i'm assuming."
she smiled this time while glancing over at her soon who was still asleep. i decided to excuse myself and head to the bathroom to fix up properly. she informed of where things were and invited me to anything i saw and felt i needed.
there was a hair tie on my wrist that i tied my hair up with after showering and slipping on one of shawn's shirts that i grabbed along the way. i paired it with sweatpants that i also grabbed, but they were really loose. if it weren't for the strings they'd be pooling at my feet.
since i didn't have a toothbrush i gargled mouthwash a few times until i was satisfied. the last thing i wanted was bad hygiene around shawn's family.
i could hear his sister now making her way downstairs calling out for her mom. she was then followed by her dad and i could hear their conversations from upstairs. they talked about school and last night's storm. apparently it got pretty bad late in the night, but shawn and i were too deep in slumber to notice.
my hands ran up and down my thighs as i sat on the toilet too nervous to leave the bathroom and join the entire family alone. the last time i was here and woke up, shawn was already awake. right now he's still asleep.
or so i thought.
"scar?" he knocked. i quickly got up and opened the door. he looked me up and down then grinned.
"you look cute in my clothes. are you hungry?"
i nodded my head yes then followed him downstairs. he tried to grab my hand but i didn't want to walk in that way, no PDA just yet even if i'm walking in with his clothes on. it would have been too much.
"and she's back! how many pancakes dear?" his mother exclaimed while fixing up her husband's plate. i told her just one and she began to make mine after handing shawn's dad his.
his little sister was already eating and using her phone at the same time, but her eyes were on me. i waved at her awkwardly with a small smile that she returned. once my plate was given to me i sat down next to her because she seemed the least intimidating.
"you're that girl that showed up once crying."
"that would be me unfortunately."
"glad to see that you're okay now. i'm aaliyah."
i thanked and her and we started to talk about random things like tv shows and artists. eventually her parents joined in on breakfast at the table and so did shawn. he sat across from me and we hardly spoke, aaliyah and i were too busy in our own world. occasionally their parents would ask me questions to include me in their family conversations that took place and i felt so comfortable. they were really nice people and i'm not sure why i'm so surprised. shawn is a nice guy.
while he spoke with his parents my phone buzzed and i checked to see what it was. lauren's name appeared on the screen and i dropped my fork. shawn's head snapped towards me and he noticed the look on my face, but his parents were still talking to him.
