by your side ! [Completed✓]

38. Peace

JEEVIKA

At night, when I was laying down on the bed while reading a novel, my phone pinged.

Arhaan: Awake?

Jeevika: yes!

He sent me photos from the puja. Everyone was looking good, especially Pihu. A pinch of sindoor on her head increased her beauty by ten folds. I think that's how it works. Woman starts glowing more after their marriage.

When I got married, I too got compliments from people saying, 'chehra chamak gaya hai dekho toh', 'haan pati pyaar karne wala mila hai' and many more. But all I hear these days is, 'baby kab plan kar rahi ho?'.

Jeevika: Pihu is looking beautiful!

Arhaan: What about me?

I paused and left the message on seen. After few minutes my phone started ringing. I saw the caller ID and it was none other than Arhaan.

I received the call.

"Baby, were you busy?".

"Nope".

"I thought you were busy, you didn't answer my question".

"You too are looking good".

"Just good? Not done baby!", he said and I just hummed.

"I see, my baby isn't in the mood to talk?".

"No, it's not like that", I replied immediately.

"Then what is it like? Last time kab baat kiya tha humne sahi se if you can remind me please?", he questioned with a change in his tone which was quite a serious one.

I remained silent and he cut the call after few seconds.

I felt bad. I wanted to talk to him about things. I wanted to share my feelings with him but it feels like I am at the shortage of words currently. I opened my phone and messaged him, "Am sorry, I was just sleepy", which I clearly lied.

After some good minutes his reply popped on the screen. "Call me next time when you really want to have a conversation with me".

I kept on staring the screen with phone in my hand. I didn't realize when sleep took me over.

Two days passed by soon.

I woke up and stretched my arms still feeling lazy. I got up from the bed forcefully and picked up my phone from the sidetable. I checked whether there was some message from him or not and I got my answer in negative.

I finished my morning routine and went downstairs for having breakfast.

Ayaansh and Shikha were ready to leave for their respective works.

"Didi, Aarav is sleeping in the room, we're leaving, you have your breakfast",Shikha said.

I smiled and nodded my head. They left soon and I went inside the room after having my breakfast. Aarav was still sleeping. How peaceful he was looking in his sleep. Babies are my absolute favourite being on this earth. They don't care about what's going on around the world.

Even science says that spending some time with kids helps us to improve our state of mind.

I sat their by his side and kept on staring him. He woke up after almost half and hour. As soon as he woke up he started crying. I took him in my arms but he wasn't ready to stop crying.

I wanted to comfort him as soon as possible but my efforts wasn't helping him.

Mumma came after hearing the screams of Aarav and took his from my arms. She started patting his back and sat on the sofa. She made Aarav to lie down on her lap and took the bottle of milk in her hand.

She started feeding Aarav and suddenly he stopped crying. I smiled but my smiled faded immediately as soon as my mother uttered, "Aise shaant karte hai bachhe ko, apne bacche ko kaise sambhalogi".

She immediately realized what she said and looked up at me. Tears formed in my eyes and I ran outside the room fastly. I went to my room and sat on the bed. Tears were flowing from my eyes.

My mother entered the room after some 10minutes and sat beside me. She tried to calm me down but I started crying more loudly. I hugged her and she was caressing my back. Neither did she spoke anything nor did I.

When I once stopped crying she said, "I didn't wanted to hurt you beta, it just came out of my mouth unknowingly".

"I know", I said in a low voice.

"Were you not consulting a doctor about this? What happened to that?", she asked me.

"Yes".."even went for fertility check ups..", I said.

"Arhaan ji bhi?", she asked.

"Yes...unme koi..problem nahi...perfectly healthy...I..PCOS...we're ..trying..only if .luck favours", I stuttered.

"Age related bhi hota hai.. you never listened to me",she said and I found it utterly irritating as it was almost the 100th time she was saying this to me.

"I don't want to talk about this. You can leave", I whispered shouted.

"But I was saying this for you.....", I cut her in the middle and got up from my place. I collected my purse and my phone. I left the room immediately.

I heard my mother shouting, "Kaha ja rhi ho gussa kar" but I ignored her and left the house after wearing my shoes and picking up the keys of my father's car.

I sat inside the car and started driving without even knowing that where was I going.

I was driving for 30 minutes now and after driving for few more minutes I reached the same place where my husband took me 8years back on the day of Holi, Sangam.

I parked my car and opened my door. I went there and hired a boat for myself to go to Sangam. It felt serene all around. The environment which gave me real peace. I closed my eyes and prayed to the Goddess of three rivers the same, 'to fill my life with peace and happiness'.

Almost after an hour I reached back to place where I parked my car. My inner piece of mind was happy right now until I saw a man who looked somewhat familiar to me on his bike with a woman sitting on the backseat of his bike and they were talking about something and laughing in the parking section.