Forever Changed

Chapter 36: Tears and Truths

Mattia POV

(1.5 Years Married)

I was furious that my father had obviously upset Angel. She was covering up whatever he'd said, but for Dante to have left his room and come downstairs meant that something bad had happened. I wouldn't push her now because this afternoon was going to be hard enough for her but I would be having a conversation with my brother and my father when we got home later. 

"When does Antony leave for Italy?" 

Angel's question as we did up our seatbelts was not what I had expected. She'd started speaking more on our drives to Baxter. Our trips home were often quiet, but the drive there she'd started opening up more and more. I was incredibly grateful, as one of the things I missed most about our relationship before the shooting was hearing her talk. She had always had so much to say. She'd jump from topic to topic as if she couldn't wait to share everything with me. Whether it was updates on her coursework or funny things Mia had said. I missed it. 

"End of the month. He'll be gone for at least six months. The house will be very quiet without him."

She didn't reply to my answer and I knew she was probably thinking about how much she'd miss him. I both loved and hated their relationship. He'd been there for her in a time when I'd failed her monumentally. Their bond was unbreakable and while I was thankful he'd taken such good care of her, both in the hospital and at home, I couldn't help a small part of me resenting that she had such a strong dependence on him. 

We arrived down town quicker than I'd have liked today. Almost no traffic to slow our arrival at an appointment that was going to leave us both feeling raw. Where I'd have to admit my wrong doings and answer for my actions. 

My heart felt like it might pound clean out of my chest once we sat waiting for Baxter to start our session. Today was going to be horrific and I worried if Angel hearing about my thoughts and actions the day of the shooting would send her back to the dark place she was only just climbing out of.

"Before we start I want to remind you both that if you need to pause at any point today simply tell me. This session is going to be tough. I've discussed the day in question with you both individually so I'm familiar with what's going to be shared today. I have your permission to lead these questions using what information you've shared, but even I don't know where the conversation will take us. What wounds might be uncovered, so let's approach today with honesty and respect like we have every other session."

I nodded my head then looked to Angel but she was staring straight ahead. Her face pointed directly at Baxter, like she was pretending I wasn't sitting by her on the couch.

"Mattia I'm going to start with you. Angel had raised a question in one of her sessions with me. She had pondered what your reaction to the news of her shooting. Could you please share with us how you found out that she had been shot and how that made you feel?"

With that he crossed his legs and reached for his water to take a sip. Even though she wasn't looking at me I knew I had Angel's full attention. She was strung tight, her back straight, perched on the edge of the chair as if she might run. I quickly checked the placement of her hands to ensure she wasn't hurting her arms and was relieved to see her hands were tightly clasped in her lap. I'd have to keep an eye on her as the story was revealed.

I took a deep breath and drummed my fingers on my thigh, gathering my thoughts in a way that I could try and make her understand my actions that day. Understand the fear I had felt. How I'd felt my chest might cave in when Nico arrived at the Bunker to inform me that she and my mother were in hospital.