[completed]
Attention
The story deals with themes such as suicide, self-mutilation, depressive crises and others. If you are sensitive to the content mentioned above, please do not read it.
Lisa is a renowned and experienced psychologist who is alwa...
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Pov Lalisa Manoban
I looked at the clock on the table noticing that it was past my bedtime, it was already 10 o'clock at night and I had spent at least 3 hours studying about severe mental disorders, I had never wanted to be able to help a patient as much as I did now, Rose had an unbearable pain that made her think about hurting herself, imagine how much suffering those disorders caused her, I had never felt so powerless in my life.
I was surprised that I'd managed to get her to calm down after the crisis in hospital, she hadn't looked at me so deeply in the first session we'd had, but standing there breathless with pain in her throat wanting to disappear she looked at me, hard to explain but I felt a silent plea for help, I know we should know when to stop and having a heart beating inside her wasn't enough to make her feel that she was alive, because she wasn't, a part of her had been completely lost on the path she'd taken so far, how to save the other part? how to bring her back, was what I was searching for now.
- We can use the peak moments of improvement, what do you think? - I said to Jisoo, who was on the phone with me.
- That might work, but so far she hasn't had any. That puzzles me, what did her family say about that?
- Good. - I looked through the papers for the notes I had made when I interviewed her family. - Her mother said the following "The moments of sadness and emptiness in her last between 3 and 4 weeks after she wakes up and sees that she hasn't gotten what she wanted, then she gets euphoric and nervous at the same time".
- That explains why she ran off like that, since hours before she couldn't even walk properly.
- Yes, she had an adrenaline rush.
- And then what did she say?
- "In manic peaks she usually says she regrets it, starts taking her medication, goes to therapy and says she wants to get better."
- Okay, that's a surprise considering the state she's in now.
- It's a lot of contradiction, but it's very common in bipolar disorder.
- Jennie said that she keeps some things at home, she calls them her "emergency exit", it's too dangerous to have them around when you're in a crisis but she said that it's a condition between the two of them, Rose only accepts treatment if she has these things at her disposal.
- Seven suicide attempts and you can't tell that it doesn't make any sense?
- I understand them, it's as if nothing works Lisa and when she gives a condition they end up accepting it after all if she gives up for good she doesn't even need medication for it.
- Rose's mother said that her body is full of self-mutilation marks, did she show you any?
- No, I asked to see if they were deep or superficial, but she wouldn't let me.
- It's very important information for treatment.
- You could try making her show you at the next appointment, you were the only one who managed to get her to calm down.
- Physical contact makes a difference to her, I didn't feel much of a connection at our first appointment, but when I calmed her down I touched her knee and looked at her very closely.
- You know...
- It's unethical. - I don't need to hear Jisoo speak to complete her reasoning. - It's unethical to let her get frustrated once again, you know how much it affects a treatment.
- You're right, I'm surprised she's still accepting appointments after so many professionals have given up on her case.
- I can do the same and let her go home and in a month or so she'll be in hospital again, or I can do what I can to try to help.
- Lisa, just be careful, you know that if you break the established bond between patient and doctor she can confuse things, this is 90% likely considering the borderline.
- You know that her case is different, instead of attachment her main feelings are sadness and anger.
- I don't think it's time to tell her family that she doesn't want to kill herself yet.
- Yes, the amounts of medicine she took would only be enough to wipe her out for a few days, unlike the cut on her wrists.
- Although this attempt was indeed the heaviest, in the case of the cut on her wrists, Jennie said that she had warned her a few hours before.
- It's not just me who's breaking protocols here. - I said, hearing Jisoo's laughter. - You've been talking to Jennie a lot.
- She's great to talk to, a very nice person.
- Poor thing, yet another victim of Kim Jisoo.
- Shut up Lisa, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm betting all my chips on this next appointment bringing me results.
