Save me •Chaelisa

resistance

Pov Roseanne Park

My weak body gave way for a few moments and I fell forward feeling my wrists and knees burn, I tried to get up again but I couldn't, I began to hear the voices I feared so much approaching, I looked ahead facing a huge wall that I would only be able to climb with some divine help.

I got up again, running in the other direction and came across a gate. I felt my heart squeeze as I shook the iron with all my might, hoping it would simply break in my hands.

It was impossible to escape from that place, I'd only get out dead. They shone a flashlight in my face and I climbed over the gate in desperation.

- Hey! - I heard a thick, male voice call out as he ran up to me.

I came across several sharp spears used to protect the place from invaders, it was impossible to jump to the other side, and the nurse was already getting close.

I grabbed a piece of rusty wire and put it in my sweatshirt pocket. I doubted very much that the orderly would notice since he was scared to death that I would jump or run away, I wasn't an idiot, a fall would break my leg at the very least.

- Come down carefully. - He said, raising his hands and looking at me worriedly.

- I just wanted to get some air. - I pretended to be normal and smiled. - Can you step back? I'm wearing a skirt.

He lowered his gaze as I went down and I took the opportunity to hide the wire under my panties. It hurt a lot at first, but I was used to cuts. He took a firm hold of my arm and pulled me back into the hospital.

- You're hurting me. - I said, pulling my arm and massaging it.

- I just went to the bathroom. - I heard Emma arguing with Jisoo, who was standing in front of my bedroom door.

- Do you know that the more you put yourself at risk, the longer your days here will be?

- You don't scare me. - I said, entering the room again, noticing another lunchbox on top of the old one; I hadn't eaten for days.

I lay down on the bed with difficulty, not only was my body extremely weak, but the wire could hurt me and I'd end up in a straitjacket.

- How have you been feeling? - Jisoo entered the room, feeling my pulse. - You're going to pass out if you go another hour without eating.

- That's the point. - I laughed, putting my hair up in a ponytail. - When is Lisa coming again? I've been asking you for days and you won't answer.

- She's not coming anymore. - He walked over to my chart.

- What do you mean?

- Lisa is off your case.

I let my body fall back.

- She gave up?

- We decided not to continue with her service, due to differing opinions about her treatment.

- So go back with her, I'm not going to talk to any more psychologists.

- Rose, we're trying to do the best for you.

- Your best is terrible. - I said, feeling like crying.

It seemed that everyone was collaborating with my desire to die, everything seemed to be working against me and, as always, if something good happened, it was gone at the same time.

- I'm not going to give you any more medication, you haven't been eating and that could make you weaker.

- Are you going to leave me in agony all night?

- I'm sorry, these drugs are strong and need a good diet - you refuse to eat.

- Get out of my room. - I shouted nervously as tears began to stream down my face.

It wasn't long before I was alone again with all that pain, crying was no longer enough to relieve it, on the contrary, every drop that fell felt like an extra squeeze.

But there was nothing I could do, even if I had things at my fingertips, anything I did could make my situation worse. I put the pillow over my face and squeezed it tightly, feeling my throat hurt so much that if it had been possible for it to collapse, it would have happened.

It wasn't long before I started to run out of air and for the third time that day I was given oxygen.

When Jisoo came to check on me, I asked her to call my parents and she happily promised to bring them the next day.

[...]

I woke up feeling my head throbbing and my chest tightening as usual, even opening my eyes was painful, it meant I was awake, I was alive and the day would start all over again.

I felt like I was living in an infinite loop.

- Good morning. - Emma said, checking my blood pressure. - Your pressure is very low, you'll have to eat or we'll give you an IV.

- Wait, I'll just talk to my parents first?

- All right, I'll call them.

I already knew what I had to do to get out of there, it would be bad, it would be painful, I would even say cruel, but if I didn't pretend I wanted to get better I was going to grow old in hospital, I took out the wire I had kept anyway, it would come in handy.