Lotties POV The last few days were torture. I was training the hardest I could, barely eating and sleeping. My body looked different. I was skinnier, even after just a few days, pale and I had bruises everywhere. It wasn't normal but it was necessary. The bruises were from falling off and I'm pretty sure my arm is injured but I'm just ignoring the pain. Wich isn't easy, because everything is hurting. But I had to give all, those things are just side affects and will go away. I have to proof that I am the best, am able to stay the best. I have one month until the Olympics. Breaks were unnecessary, so I just have to ignore the pain. Also it hurts not being able to see Lando. Of course we FaceTimed each other a lot and texted, but it wasn't the same. Also he was annoyed, he wanted me to attend a race wich would mean I had to skip my training, wich wasn't possible. I'm so close to the biggest challenge of my life, also if I messed it up,it would be the last. Now it was just focusing. Giving up wasn't an option. Right now, I was warming up Glams and Char was doing the exact same thing with Valegro. "Lottie, are you okay? You've even gotten skinnier than last time we saw each other. It's not healthy!", Char said concerned. In my normal clothes it wasn't visible but in the riding thighs it was. " Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, I am just working out, I was fat before and now I'm literally normal." " You weren't fat and now you're underweighted. God, I don't even wanna know how you would look like in a bikini. You're ruining yourself.", why does she have a problem with my choices? "Well, I like myself like I am right now. If you don't, then it's your problem." With that I gallop away. Training was hard as always and i was looking at myself in the mirror in underwear. Charlotte wasn't lying, I lost weight. But that is good, isn't it? My bones aren't that visible yet, so I still had to loose some weight in the next few weeks. I couldn't bare to look at myself any longer, so I just put on a hoodie and sweatpants. Since I started training that hard I always cry in the evening. While I was crying Lando FaceTimed me. Shit, what a great timing! I quickly wiped away my tears and accepted the call. I was lucky the light was bad. "Hi Lottie, it's- wait, are you crying?", he sounded panicked, but I wasn't going to tell him. "Hi Lando, well a little bit. I'm watching the Lion King and Simbas dad just died.", it wasn't a lie, everybody cried while watching the movie. "Aww, I cried too. Every time I watched it. How was your day?", good he believes me. " The same as always. So it was amazing. I love working with the horses and it's like living your dream. How was yours?" I'm lucky that I'm good at lying, because everything is a lie. I love riding but it's too much pressure. Right now, I don't even know how to survive the next day. "It's cool, but it would be better with you. Please, think about it again. It's just one race!", he pouts. " After the Olympics, I promise. I have to train, and it's really hard. I'm sorry, but there's no other way." It breaks my heart saying this. "Okay, but the race after the Olympics. I'm going to organize the tickets." "Thanks Lando, I'm going to go to bed. Good night." " Good night Lottie"
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