Trust ~ Jean Kirschtein x Reader/OC

CHAPTER ELEVEN ~ Nodus Tollens

It was the colossal titan. The same one that destroyed my life. Along with the armoured titan. The colossal titan and the armoured titan were Bertholdt and Reiner. The same people who I confided in, fought alongside, wholeheartedly trusted. The same people who ripped my life apart, destroying who I was and who I am now, who killed my parents, and who led my sister to her death.

I cling to the small divots in the stone of the wall, my body aching from being thrown around as I stare at the two of my comrades, my friends. The colossal titan's body is only half finished - as per say - as its bare ribs surround and dig into each side of the wall. The armoured titan, presumably Reiner as I now notice their similarities, is complete, as he grabs Eren and takes him into the air. When the steam dies down, I am completely overcome with rage, as if it were pulsating in my blood and running through my veins. I shoot up onto my feet and go to sprint towards the titans, not thinking about how I could be killed if I got any closer to them. Honestly, I do not care if I die; after all, part of me wants to, part of me always wanted to.

I take a single step forward, my eyes immediately welling with blinding tears, before I am stopped by arms that wrap around my waist and suction my body to theirs. They are clearly much stronger than I am, as I try to kick at them and break out of their grasp, but I can't; no matter how hard I pull myself towards the ground or slide my feet along the stone in an attempt to run away.

The tears fall down my face as I begin choking out, "you... YOU BASTARDS! YOU TRAITORS!"

I sob immensely and uncontrollably, still trying to break free of the grasp of whoever is holding me, my arms trapped by my sides to lessen my range of movement. My mouth begins to move faster than my head as I start to say things that I don't think through. I'm not even sure if the two titans can hear what I'm saying, but I continue anyway.

"How can you sleep at night knowing you killed so many innocent people?! Whatever selfish desire you had to do such an evil thing... I... I hope... no, you will never feel the pain that you have caused so many people!"

There are so many things I want to say, but my mind is too fuzzy to think of any of them. I continue thrashing my body about, trying to break free, overcome by the strange fantasy of killing both Bertholdt and Reiner, a desire I have never felt before. After all, they were the reason that I lost everything, all in one day. They are the reason that my life has come crashing down before me, shrouding me in a complete darkness for all these years.

"IT WAS YOU! YOU SONS OF BITCHES KILLED MY FAMILY! THEY ARE GONE BECAUSE OF YOU. I HAVE NOTHING BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Bertholdt's titan arm looms over the top of us and grabs Ymir, still unconscious on the stretcher. Reiner then launches himself off of the top of the wall, falling to the ground with Eren in his hands.

"I know you can hear me, god dammit! Come back!" I cry.

I continue to scream and try and force my way out of this person's grip while tears uncontrollably pour down my face. I'd broken the promise I'd made to myself just yesterday morning, but I don't care. All I want to do is find Bertholdt inside his massive titan form, then track down Reiner, until I can make them both feel the equivalent pain of what they have caused me and so many others. Even though I know that no amount of torture could ever come close to it.

Eventually, exhaustion from trying to break free takes over, and I slowly begin to give in. I continue to cry and cry, like a wave of emotion has drowned me, as I know that nothing I do could solve my anger. It is too dangerous to go after them alone as a new Scout.

I completely relax against the person's grip, just absorbing myself into my emotions as I sob and choke. I mindlessly and quickly turn around and force myself into their chest, my hands tucked up just below my chin. It is now that I realise what a scene I've made again, as I hope that this person could take me away from everything.