Trust ~ Jean Kirschtein x Reader/OC

CHAPTER FIFTEEN ~ Ephemeral

It is really peaceful like this. Entirely blind to the world around me, sleeping in this dangerous state. It is strangely warm but cool at the same time, as I let the tenseness in my mind go and relax myself entirely. I lie here, unbeknownst to everything; that is until strange reminders of the real world begin to wash over me.

First, it's the cool breeze and the warm sun over my face, contrasting one another continuously. I begin to feel it more and more as it prickles against the skin of my face, forcing me to wake up, but part of me wants to stay this way. I want to stay unconscious, away from the real world around me, to the point where I slowly slip away from life itself. That way, maybe I could be reunited with my family; if that's the way that death works. Even though a sliver of me still feels guilty over my thoughts, knowing that if I followed through with them I'd leave so many people behind. But I don't even know if they do care about me, truely.

"Please, wake up Rosette," Jean's muffled voice suddenly appears, but I mindlessly ignore it.

"He needs you, you know." Another voice appears, but I feel as though I'm surrounded by it. It was a young girl with a very recognisable voice; Simone's little voice, remaining unchanged from the years taken from her life. I know she isn't real, but I can feel very real tears trickle slowly down my face.

"You need to wake up," she mutters again.

My eyelids fly open wide, and suddenly I'm staring right up at the sky above me. I snap straight up into a sitting position and begin gasping for air, as if I hadn't been breathing for several minutes. My breaths are loud and shaky as I wipe the tears from my face, feeling a mix of everything - from being torn from my sisters small voice, to now being awake and back in reality.

"Want some water?" Jean's voice chimes beside me, sounding much different to what he sounded like just before. I look at him, wide eyed, finding myself very close to him. I realise that I must've been lying in his lap, or something along those lines; I have to fight to keep back a light blush that creeps onto my face.

"Was I- did you-" my voice comes through broken and full of confusion, "uhm, yes. I would like some water."

He hands me a full flask of water, and I immediately take it from him, hastily unscrewing the cap. I take it to my mouth quickly and tip it up, guzzling as much water as I can. Some of it starts to run out of the corners of my mouth and drip down my chin from how high I'm holding it, wanting every last drop of the water, savouring every bit of it as it quenches my thirst.

Once I'm not thirsty anymore, I take it back down to my lap and wipe my face awkwardly with my jacket sleeve, feeling even more embarrassed than when I realised I was unconscious in Jean's lap.

"How long was I out for?" I mumble.

"About ten minutes," Zariya's voice comes from the other side of me. I swing my head around to face her, which I not only find her crouching down on the ground, but Armin also there next to her.

I can suddenly feel my eyes welling up with tears again, "oh, Zariya, I'm- I'm so sorry."

The guilt I feel in my chest makes my heart hurt, I never meant to lash out at her like that at all. If I was in my right mind, it never would have happened, and it's not fair that I let all my emotions get the better of me and use them against her.

"It's fine. Sometimes things are..." she hesitates for a moment, "just too hard to talk about."

"I told you you should have eaten something more," Jean teases.

"Ha-ha, very funny." I narrow my eyes to show my displeasure at his joke.

Armin suddenly scrambles to get up, almost running horizontally, leaving by saying a small "Mikasa."