Trust ~ Jean Kirschtein x Reader/OC

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO ~ The Two of Us or Neither of Us

The sound of the titan hitting the ground makes me nauseous. Tears immediately prick in my eyes, and I jump off Status quickly, not having a care in the world about anything else but making sure Jean is alive. I practically stumble to the ground and sprint around the titan, searching around its disgusting body for any sign of Jean. I suddenly come across one of his arms sticking out from underneath it, completely motionless and limp - it makes the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach grow.

"Shit," Is all I mutter out before I dive to the ground, grabbing his arm with both of my trembling hands. I drag him out from the titan with everything I have, digging my heels into the dirt and grass, the adrenaline taking me over once more and making nothing feel real.

When he finally comes out from underneath the titan, I drop straight down by his side, tears beginning to fall down my face. His eyes were peacefully closed, contrasting his already bruising face and bleeding nose. I grab his shoulders and hastily shake him back and forth, desperately trying to get him to wake up or show me any sign of life.

"Please, please, please, Jean, please! Wake up!" I beg him, but my words fall on deaf ears.

I hold the back of my hand up to his mouth, his lips partially parted just enough that it would allow me to feel his breath - if he is still breathing. My whole body braces itself, just waiting, hoping, to feel his breathing on the back of my hand. A small, warm, breath comes into contact with my skin, making goosebumps spread all over my body. He is alive. Thank goodness he is alive.

I immediately embrace him, bringing his unconscious body up to mine and holding his head against the crook of my neck, shaking all over. His chest rises and falls against my head gently, letting me hear his quiet heartbeat against my ear and his warm breath against my neck.

In this still moment, something clicks in my mind that hadn't before. Something is different in my relationship with Jean. It doesn't feel the same as the friendships I have with other people, it's as if there is something more that I can't place just yet.

"Please Jean," I whisper, a breath hitching in my throat, "I need you."

I feel a hand reach across the length of my back, and I immediately lift my head to look at Jean. His eyes are weakly open, but I can still see the warm brown peaking through and looking right into my eyes. He is smiling at me, softly but kindly, and he squeezes me against him.

"Jean... I- you're-" I stutter, wide-eyed.

He doesn't say anything back, but I notice his consciousness fading back out. He starts to become limp in my arms, his arm draping back down my back and onto the ground, his eyes closing again.

"No, no, Jean, wait!" I lower him back to the ground, scanning over his bloodied face.

I clean my face of tears, both distraught that he's blacked out again, but also relieved that he's alive.

That is, until the ground starts to shake behind me. The titan that was thrown at Jean now stands towering over us, its huge eyes staring into mine, hungry for our blood. I gasp, frightened, and bolt upright into a fighting position, quickly drawing my swords. I am still shaking from before, but maybe even more so now that I'm practically face to face with death.

It reaches one of its hands down to grab me, but I slice a few of its fingers clean off, my fresh blades really proving how sharp they are. Instead of having any reaction at all, it swipes at me with its other hand, successfully grabbing me across my waist. The pressure of its grasp is enough to break my ribs, and I practically scream out my last full breath, it's a blood-curdling cry of pain and panic mixed into one. I try to use my hands to force my way out of its grip that increases on my body with each second, flailing my legs around as if that will be any help at all. Someone help me, please!

Just as I reach the titans mouth level, another scream is heard through the field, but this time not from me. I turn my head to look behind me, finding Eren standing over Mikasa with his fist extended to a large titans hand. What on earth?!

Somehow, his scream attracted all the surrounding titans attention. They all stare over at him - no - at the titan. All within a second, all the titans in the area begin to rush towards the other titan; the one holding me included, too, as it suddenly drops me to the ground. I let out a short shriek just before I hit the ground, my back colliding with the hard dirt before any more of me. The small amount of air I had left in my lungs feels ripped out of me as I cough and choke, feeling extra pain rippling through my already-injured back from Stohess.

"Rosette, are you okay?!" I hear Monique's voice call out to me.

"Yeah, I-" I suck in a desperate breath, "I'm fine."

She jumps off her horse and comes running towards me, bending down beside me to lift me up.

"Are you sure? You fell from literally four metres in their air!" She pushes.

"I'll be okay for now. Nothing feels broken," I smile at her.

She carefully lifts me up as Status comes running towards me, unexpectedly stopping right in front of me and nuzzling my face.

"Thanks- Status," I say as his damp nose presses against my cheek.

I look over to Jean's unconscious yet peaceful body lying on the grass. There is no way that he would ever be able to ride on his own, quite obviously, and we all came completely unprepared for this many casualties. So the only reasonable thing to do is for him to ride with me.

"Hey, Monique. Can you help me get Jean onto my horse?" I ask.

She looks at me completely dumbfounded. "First of all, he's unconscious. Second of all, he's literally both our heights combined."

"First of all, I know," I reply sarcastically, "second of all, he's not that tall. I know that we'll be able to do it."

"Fine," she groans.

Eventually, we get Jean into a somewhat comfortable position for the both of us. He's slumped over my back with his chin on my shoulder, and I sit in front of him, supporting his weight as well as allowing me to guide Status properly.

"Good luck with that," Monique mocks.

I roll my eyes, "I'll be fine."

She strides over to her own horse, and I begin riding towards Gen on Zariya's horse over in the distance, who rides towards another two people. It was Armin with an unconscious Zariya in his arms. Why is it that she is always unconscious and covered in blood?

"You guys have got to hurry up! We're retreating!" Gen announces.

"Okay! But Zariya is in no shape to ride on her own!" Armin exclaims, cradling her in his arms.

"Don't worry about that now! Just both of you get on your horse Armin and I'll ride Atlas back," Gen assures him.

Armin looks back at Zariya, "right!"

"Soldiers! Retreat!" Commander Smith announces to everyone.

I notice Armin looking at me from a distance, and I turn to look at him as well. He nods his head in a gesture to Jean, seemingly asking if he's alright, or at least conscious. I sadly shake my head, before averting my eyes back to the ground, remembering that even if Jean is alive, there is no telling what damage could have been done to him. I lift my eyes back to Armin, who now seems fixated on something else. I follow his gaze to Ymir, still in her titan form, and Historia. Ymir gives Historia a small pat on her head with her thumb, before running off after Reiner.

And in that moment, I realise that that is the last time I will probably ever see Ymir. Who knows what could happen to her now, and we'll just never know. This fact weighs heavily on my chest as I turn Status back around and instruct him to ride up to the rest of the group. Ymir was one of my best friends, and now she's gone. It's another friend down, only a few to go.

As the sun begins to set again, I lean my head against Jean's softly. The slow rise and fall of his chest against my back is all the comfort I need, and the warmth of his body feels like it wraps around me and sinks into my skin, showing me that everything is now okay even though it most definitely is not. But the truth is, I don't think I ever want to leave this moment. No matter how dangerous our lives have become, the uncertainty of how long we really have left to live, I just need him to stay alive. I want to stay in his warmth forever. 

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