37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

Beat me to it

POV
Millie

I arrive back at the hotel room just after 6 pm and Steph isn't back yet.

I'm all alone again and with each passing minute without a distraction, I'm missing him. It's been 14 hours since I walked in on the most horrific scene. I hate that I miss someone who dares to do that to me. I replay some of the events in my head as I lay myself on the queen bed looking up at the white popcorn ceiling.

I love you

He actually told me he loves me, it was the very worst situation to tell someone you love them especially when your actions contradict your words.

Do I believe he loves me? Yeah..maybe..

Do I think he genuinely wanted to fuck Aspen? I don't know, not really but clearly this deal meant more to him than me.

Do I believe we can move past this one day? No, and that self conformation hurts like a bitch.

Although X is still alive, he may as well be dead. We will not talk anymore, we will not see each other, hug, kiss, or share each other's bodies again. Oh god. That part was so good though.

I need to mourn what we had and grieve what we didn't.

...

It's the official day after one of the worst days of my life.

Steph came back to the hotel forty minutes after I got back. We had some dinner, which I nitpicked at because my appetite has been nonexistent, we talked a little about what we did while we went our separate ways for those couple of hours and then I silently cried myself to sleep again. At some point in the middle of the night, I woke with overwhelming sadness, sobbed and Steph crawled into bed with me, holding me until I fell asleep again.

It's Monday, so Steph has to get going back to Los Angeles for work. Just the thought of her leaving and me being alone again tears a rip in my heart. I don't want to be alone right now.

"Okay baby girl, I gotta get going. Please, please come back to LA, we can get a hotel room together in the meantime." Steph suggests.

"Okay, yeah maybe we should, I'll call you when I get my new phone set up," I say before hugging her goodbye.

A few minutes later she leaves and I feel empty.

There are some things I need to do before I head back to the city of hell..like take a shower..

I get into the shower, the warm water falls over me delicately. I'm brought back to the day I showered with X. I don't even care about the sex part, it was the slippery connections of our bodies together that fills my mind. Tears fall down my cheeks and I'm unsure what is water and what are tears. I plant my palms on the white shower wall with my head down, "Why X? Why did you do this to us?" I ask myself through sobs.

...

After my much-needed shower, I put on X's hoodie, but only for a few minutes to run out to my car to get the blouse I bought a couple of weeks ago for my new job out of the trunk.

It's not ideal but what other choice do I have right now?

I go back up to the hotel room, change into my new light blue chiffon-like shirt on, and check out of the hotel.

I drive over to Verizon, when I get inside I'm greeted by a nice young man with brown curly hair, "what can I help you with miss?" He asks me, it's actually sort of funny because he looks much younger than me, calling me miss.

"I need a new phone," I say politely.

"Absolutely, come take a look at these." He guides me to an area filled with phones.

I pick one out, basically the same as my last. He rings me out and says "There you are, you're all set, is there anything else I can help you with today?" He asks and I'm about to say no.

"Actually, yes, there's one more thing."

...

I drop by a local grocery store and pick out a small bouquet of mixed flowers to bring to my mom's resting place before I head back to L.A.

I feel different today, I don't know if I feel free or regretful for making a rash decision.

I drive to the cemetery, I'm feeling nervous about what I need to do.

I park my car and walk over to the grave that I sent my mom in.

When I make it to her headstone I'm astonished.

The flowers I just picked out are put to shame. Someone beat me to it with at least 5 dozen roses of different colors. Red, yellow, pink, white, and coral surround my mother's grave. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

But the question is, who did this?