37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

Self inflicted

POV
Julian

I don't even make it halfway down the hall when I hear things from X's room breaking.

I expected this.

I wanted to be the one to tell him because word travels fast in this house, half the house already knows about his overdose but no one is stupid enough to approach him, even if it were words of encouragement. X is a defensive person, he doesn't want anyone taking pity on him and he doesn't do well with kind words. X thrives off of the negative, he turns it into a challenge. X's dad formed him this way, just as mine did but my dad had a percentage more of a heart than X's. We were taught from adolescence to not let people in, to conceal our feelings and weaknesses, and to hide who we are as a person. In this business, you're a lethal robot. Millie is breaking X away from that and he's struggling beyond belief with it.

I don't trust X to have found this information out from someone else, he's irrational when he's upset, he doesn't know how to handle when things are out of his control and I want to be present in the case of him doing something he'll regret.

Right now he's taking his anger out on objects and not people so I'm satisfied with the coping mechanism. Had X found out from anyone but me, he'd kill the messenger in cold blood.
I'm not leaving this dude until his shit is back together and his emotions are in check.

The heartache he's experiencing is foreign to him and he's learning the hard way on how to handle it. I'm surprised as fuck that Millie is going out with someone already but maybe that's just how she copes, everyone is different. I believe Millie is not over X, not even by a fraction but if she needs to go out with someone else to deal with the pain she's experiencing then so be it.

I keep hearing glass break from the room and I hope he'll stop soon because he's going to overexert himself, but maybe that's not such a bad thing right now honestly.

I feel for him, it's just bad news after bad news for this guy, every day since Saturday night but at the same time he's doing all of this to himself, it's all self-inflicted.

I text Steph

Me: Told X, he's going off the deep end

Steph: Lovely..

Me: he had to know babe

Steph: I know, I know. Not really happy with Millie right now

Me: I get it but maybe it's just something she has to do to move on

Steph: yeah you're right

Me: miss you already

Steph: Me too xx

I set my phone down. When I see Steph next, I want to talk to her about moving in with me. I don't want anyone else other than her and I think she feels the same.

She better..or I'll be right where X is.

I feel bad thinking this, but thank god our relationship is nothing like X and Millie's.