37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

Tomorrow it is

POV
Millie

I hate this. I hate that he still has an effect on me and I hate that I still love him.

Those words that just came out of his mouth made my heart sink and my stomach flutter with butterflies. It's such an awful situation, being in love with someone that you just simply can't be with. What he did has gone past the point of no return for us.

I hurt for him, I hate that his mom did that to him, for all of the things she did to him. I may have ill will feeling towards this man but I don't wish him any of this. I don't wish this on anyone. He's clearly torn apart inside and for good reason but it killed me to see the evidence run down his face. I wanted to take that pain away for him, the way he wanted to take it away for me the night I told him about my mom's passing. We have a unique relationship each other but at the end of the day, we both want something that we just simply cannot achieve despite best efforts. I've  really known this all along but I fought it, I fought against my own gut feelings, I wanted him more than all the warnings that surrounded me.

"Please Millie, just accept it. It's the least  I can do for you." X says breaking me of my deep depressing thoughts.

I roll my eyes at him.

"I'll stay at the other hotel if you promise to get those disgusting, probably infected hands checked out." I say confidently.

"Deal." He says putting his hand out for me to shake.

"Ew, no." I say shaking my head grossed out.

He laughs and I freaking missed that sound.

"Fine, worth a try," he says shrugging his shoulders.

"The hotel is Hollywood Inn Suites by the way," he says in a less playful tone.

"Okay," I whisper.

He looks me dead in the eye and says "hey Millie?"

I search his green eyes for whatever it is he's going to say.

"For whatever it's worth, I really am sorry." He says with pain in his voice.

I nod my head, "I know," I say barely audible as we continue to look at each other.

He gives me a sad small smile, "I guess I'll let you get to it then," he says and lightly smacks his hands on his knees. He stands up and tucks his sunglasses in the neckline of his shirt and opens the door.

He's half in the room, half outside and pulls something out of his pocket before he leaves. He has a piece of paper tucked in between his middle and index finger.

"Thank you for the note." He says. "It meant everything to me, even if those words are no longer true."

I nod my head slowly as I remember writing it that night, the night I wish I could rewind to before the shift in my love life changed.

I reach into my own pocket holding up the napkin from my moms grave. "Thank you for this." I say shrugging my shoulders.

He nods his head, "I'll see you, Millie." He says  and although I want to spit out some snarky remark to that, I don't.

The door closes behind him and I run my hands over my face feeling way too many emotions at once.

That was that. I need to move on with life, we had a good run, a short one at that but nonetheless a good one.

I appreciate that X booked me a nicer room in an actual hotel but I feel uneasy with the offer. I know it's nothing compared to what he just gave his mom but still, I feel awkward about the help, especially from him.

Since I have none of my things with me currently, I grab my phone from off the bed to type in the address to the hotel.

I have a new e-mail, it's Marlene.

She wrote out that I can start as early as tomorrow if I want and that for the rest of the week I'll be shadowing Nick.

Tomorrow it is, tomorrow I start my new beginnings.