37 days: Holding on 2 broken promises

The other

POV
Millie

I'm starting to feel bad about my outbursts of the evening. The tension in the suite is dense and it's all because of me.

I try to salvage the night by suggesting The Bachelor. They of course are down to watch but Steph is nonexistent, still in her room.

I really get to thinking while we watch an episode, all of these women fighting for one man. What makes him so special? Sure, he's handsome but when it comes down to it is he really worth it? Other than his good looks, which one of these girls is actually going to see him? To love him, to pick him up when he falls and pick her up in that same manner? When all is said and done, every single one of these girls but one will have their heart broken by this man. Why put yourself through that? All for the chance that he might choose you?

And the one.

The one that wins him over, what happens after that? He just dated dozens of women, made connections with them, had intimate moments with them while you were tucked warm in your bed thinking about him. What happens if the day after he picks you, he still has the other girl that didn't get chosen on his mind? Will he always wonder what if?

I sympathize with the others, because I am the other no matter what X says or even believes.

When Ellie and Alina leave I knock on Steph's door.

"Yeah, come in," she says from the other side of the wood.

I walk in and she's sitting on the bed with her phone in her hand. I sit beside her, cross legged just as she is.

"I'm sorry for being so snappy with you earlier," I say apologizing.

"It's fine," she says with her head down.

"What's going on Steph?" I ask in a more pleasing manner.

"Nothing mills, I just have a lot on my mind," she says falling back on the bed.

I match her position and lay next to her as we look up at the white vaulted ceiling.

"We can't both be depressed Steph, it was supposed to be my turn, you can have it next week." I say jokingly and she laughs.

"Sorry, I just wanted to join the party." She says with an exhale of breath.

"Did something happen with Julian?" I ask cautiously.

"Hmm, no, we're fine." She says.

"So then what is it?" I ask again.

"Nothing mills, just nothing," she says not wanting to let me in.

"Okay," I say giving up.

"Just trust me on this one mills," she says taking my hand in hers and squeezing it.

"Okay," I whisper.

I'm unbelievably curious now but I'll respect her wishes.

"Well I love you, I'm going to bed now, you know where I am if you need me," I say to my best friend.

"Love you too mills," she says as I walk out the door.

I go into my bedroom feeling extremely anxious about work tomorrow. When I called Nick, I wasnt thinking about the fact that I have to still work with him tomorrow, I just did it out of spite honestly. I mean do I like Nick? Yeah, but it'd never go anywhere. He's someone that deserves someone's full attention and I can't give him that right now, not while I'm still in love with someone else.

I really hope X doesn't find out about the casual date I'm going on in two days, he has a way of always knowing where I am or what I'm doing at a given time.

I lay in bed and for the first time in days, I don't cry myself to sleep.