Little bird with broken wings.(SWS+ATL+PTV)

Alex

Me and Alex made it to his bus and before I could even say anything he picked me up and placed me on the couch and put a pillow under my head. I relaxed my muscles and sighed in relief, "Thank you Alex." He still didn't say anything and sat in the floor beside the couch giving me a look. I knew what that meant and realized that he had locked the door after I stepped on the bus. I turned on my side to face him and began. I told him about my mom, Lydia, and Steve my moms boyfriend.

He listened quietly and then I talked about when the panic attacks started. "About two years before Lydia left I had my first panic attack." I paused and Alex grabbed my hand squeezing it. "I was always scared when people yelled or screamed at each other. Especially when my mom and Steve yelled at each other, because that meant he was going to hit her. I was in the closed in Lydia's room. That's where she always told me to go when he was mad. Not long after he started coming around she changed the wallpaper on her room. I was confused at first but she pointed out that she had the door off the closet door and covered a little more than the top half with wood so you couldn't see the close it just looked like more wall. She pulled her dresser out of the way and I realized there was a space just enough for us to crawl into and hide."

I paused and Alex wiped a tear off my cheek, "Lydia wasn't home, for the first time when they fought, I was alone. I was terrified, my heart started pounding, I started having horrible images placed in my head. I wanted to scream but, I knew I couldn't. The pressure in my chest hurt so bad it made it hard to breathe so I was gasping for air. I was shaking to bad to push the dresser a little so I could climb out. Lydia found me passed out when she got back. She said I was barely breathing and had taken me to the hospital. My mother agreed not to tell Steve as long as Lydia paid for everything. Lydia spent almost a years worth of checks from work while we were there. The doctors said my heart had had to much stress and all but given out. I was taught almost every way possible to calm down and they offered to give me meds but, we said no since we wouldn't be able to afford it. I had them for almost two years after that but they kinda stopped when I learned how to control it better. I haven't had one since the day Lydia died, well until today."

I said sitting up and wiping my tears and Alex opened his arms for a hug. I leaned forward for a hug. "You scared me. I've never seen someone have a panic attack and it freaked me out. I used to have them all the time and still do sometimes. I've never see anyone have one that bad though, love. I think I'll be able to help next time. I tried but, couldn't focus I was freaking out. I'm so sorry." He whispered and I pulled back. "I'm fine Alex. Don't blame yourself for not being able to help me." I stated and he nodded.

He moved to sit beside me and I leaned on him. He sighed. "Promise to find me when you feel as if you are going to have on?" He asked and I held up my pinky, he smiled and hooked his through mine. "Promise." I said. I remembered something and pulled out my new phone. "I'm not sure if Jaime and Mike set this thing up yet but I can try and see." I said with a shrug he chuckled. "You let Jaime and Mike touch your phone?" He asked laughing as I shrugged again and crossed my eyes. I hit the button and it turned on I unlocked it and started laughing. My home screen is Jaime making a stupid face. Alex laughed too and I found everyone's contacts in my phone already. Jaime was The Bestist Bassist and Mike was Your favorite Fuentes but everyone else had normal names.

I found all of the guys on tour and even Kellins wife Katelynn's number. "Well since I have yours I'll text you later." I said and slipped my phone back into my pocket. He opened his mouth to say something but his phone started ringing. "Hello." He said and made a face then his eyes widened. "She's okay Derek!" I raised an eyebrow. "Yea it was a panic attack. I know. Okay talk to you later." He put his phone down and looked at me. "Vic told everyone what happened so they wouldn't be worried if they only heard part of the story from someone. It shouldn't get out but he wanted to make sure and everyone agreed to keep it a secret and away from the press." He said and I nodded. His phone rang again and this time it was Kellin. "Well I guess they are done. So let's head back, they are all really worried but, I think if we had stayed no one would've gone to their signings. I missed mind but, it's better than everyone missing theirs." He said and stood up. I sighed feeling a little guilty for all this mess. Alex pulled me by my hand off the bus. He looked down at me and smirked. "You are so short." He said. I flipped him off and he laughed. We continued walking until I got into the back of the venue where all of the bands have their rooms and can warm up. I was wrapped in warm arms before I could even finish walking in the door. I recognized the tattoos and immediately hugged Tony back.

I assured everyone I was fine and they all seemed to calm down. I was surprised at all the people that showed up. Derek and Jeremy from Mayday showed up along with all of sleeping with sirens and PTV. Jack, Zack, and Rian had went to get everyone food along with the rest of Mayday parade. I spent most of the night flanked by Vic and Kellin and Jack and Alex weren't far either. There was a bit of a discussion of who I would stay with tonight ATL, SWS, and PTV wanted me on their bus. I fell asleep on the closest person before I heard the decision.