I woke up early, parang hindi natulog dahil ang ginawa ko lang mag damag ay umiyak. Naligo ako at nag ayos para takpan ang pamamaga ng mata ko. Sinuot ko din ang salamin ko sa mata para hindi mapansin agad iyon. I go downstairs para mag pahatid na sa campus. I don't want to see them, not now. Masyado pang maaga.
Pero sadyang mapag laro ata ang tadhana dahil kababa ko palang ay nakita ko na agad sila, sabay na kumakain sa dining table na parang walang nangyaring kung ano kagabi. The side of my lips rose up, hindi maitago ang ngisi dahil sa galing nilang mag panggap.
"Eat your breakfast Akhira." Dad said and I just ignored it.
I continued to go out and ignored them, I didn't want to ruin my mood, it's so early in the morning. Nagpahatid na ako sa campus even though it is still early in the morning. The car started and in just a few minutes we're here at the campus but I didn't get off at the gate, I went to the convenience store first because it was still early.
I got off the car and enter the convinience store, I just want some coffee. I took a cup and placed it on the coffee machine, I pressed the button to fill the cup. When it was full, I brought it to the counter to pay, and I also got some chocolate to eat.
I sat in the empty seat on the side where I didn't see very well, I put my bag on the side and I sipped my coffee, I also opened a chocolate and ate it.
It's still in my head, everything that happened last night is still here, even if I don't want to get hurt, that has been planted in me. I'm not okay, I know we won't be okay. they just try to be fine because of me and I hate it, I hate that Im the reason why my mom's getting hurt and still begging. I don't want that, I don't want to see her like that.
Hindi ganon ang pag mamahal, hindi ka dapat nasasaktan. Ang sakit lang na ang tagal bago ko malaman 'yon, bakit nung una palang ay hindi ko napansin? bakit ang galing galing nilang mag tago? bakit ang dali para sa kanila na saktan lang ako?
'why are they still fighting even though they know it will only hurt me more.'
I wiped away the tears that had been falling down to my cheeks, I didn't want to cry because it's so early for that. Kahapon pa ako umiiyak at parang ubos na ang luha ko kakaiyak.
'Im always crying.'
It's seven forty in the morning so I decided to go to campus, I went out and went straight to campus, it's not that far from the campus and I won't be late. After a few minutes of walking, I'm here in front of our room, I took a breath before entering the room.
I went straight to my sit, nakita ko pa ang ilang kaklase ko na may kanya kanyang ginagawa. Inayos ko lang ang sarili ko at pumikit habang nakasandal sa upuan. Maya maya pa ay naramdaman kong may umupo sa tabi ko, It's Elle. I know her perfume, masyadong matapang iyon pero hindi masakit sa ilong.
"Good morning te, binili kitang chocolate to lighten up your mood." she softly said.
Bahagya pa nitong hinimas ang buhok ko
na nakapag pa dagdag sa emosyon na kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Ayaw ko tuloy buksan ang mata ko dahil alam kong iiyak nanaman ako, parang gusto ko siyang yakapin at mag sumbong sa lahat ng nangyari sa mga nag daang araw.
"Okay ka lang ba? what's the problem? It's okay kung ayaw mo pang sabihin. Im here if you need a shoulder to cry." I didn't talk, I didn't even open my eyes 'cause there's something on my throat na konting salita pa ay iiyak na talaga ako.
"I saw your tweets, Im sorry if sinundan kita, nakita kong nagpababa ka sa 7/11 kanina. Nakita ko din kung paano ka mag isang naupo sa sulok at umiyak, na ang pag buntong hininga mo hanggang makarating ka dito. I was at your back, hindi mo ako napansin.
