Left Alone To Cry.

Chapter 18: Agony

WARNING: This chapter contains bad language and violence.

LIAM'S POV

Even though how hard I think about it, how many times I analyze and have the facts right under my nose, I don't want to believe all of this. 

I don't want to believe Niall wrote that letter. That's just impossible.

I know him. I know him too well. Niall thinks differently, he has his own little world, everything is a source of entertainment and everything new is an interesting and educating experience for him. 

So why would he crack under the pressure of fame, now, out of nowhere?

Why would he express his hate for us? After everything we had, this just can't be real. 

It's surreal. There's everything to prove Niall wrote it, but I just don't want to admit it... that Niall actually hates all of us.

I rub my chin and turn to the boys, all three of them sitting everywhere in my living room.

It's our day off and we're kind of loosing our heads and control with this whole thing. We have to stick together to get through it. They came over to spend the day. 

"Guys, I can't seem to wrap my head around this whole thing." I say after a long silence.

The boys look up at me.

"None of us really can, Liam." Louis says.

"I know, but, I mean... are we going to be able to deal with Dan in the band?" I say. 

Zayn gives me an aggressive look.

"The concert is tomorrow..." I continue, ignoring Zayn's quiet grunts. "Dan is going to be with us on stage and he's going to sing Niall's bits..."

Harry suddenly jumps on his feet. His eyebrows are frowned, his teeth are clenched tightly and his fists are closed.

"Don't ever say that name again." Harry says under his breath, killing me with his gaze.

"Calm down, Harry..." Louis says, delicately pulling him back to make him sit down.

I sigh to myself.

I understand how Harry is feeling. He feels betrayed. Niall's name is like a knife in his back everytime... like four of us. But I don't want to forget about Niall. It's like that's what Harry wants. Because he really believes Niall's letter...

I just think it's so big and so surreal that it can't be real. It just can't... even though it probably is... I don't know what to believe anymore.

I can see in Zayn's eyes that he's as confused as me. He loves Niall so much, it just hurts him so much to think this might all be real.