Heart Songs Presents: All or Nothing at All

Facing the Truth.....

Quote of the Chapter: "I think I'm afraid of being happy because everytime I'm happy, something bad always happens."

                                                                                                ---Unknown Author

§§§§§§§☻☻☻☻☻☻☻§§§§§§§☻☻☻☻☻☻☻§§§§§§§☻☻☻☻☻☻☻§§§§§§§

                  “Are you sure about this?” Rick asked restlessly, he couldn’t help but fidget at his place and looked at Brian with resentment in his eyes.

Brian glanced at him before turning back to stare at the front door of the Wilfred Mansion. They were standing there for ten minutes before deciding to finally push the doorbell. After he heard the ring of the doorbell, he started wishing that he didn’t push the button down.

But he already made up his mind about this and if Jenny’s sister fulfilled her promise not to tell a word, then everything might go as what he plans. Except of course, if something comes up like him telling her how he can’t live without her or how he can never give her up. But Brian knows what’s right and what’s for the best, so he will do this even if it means breaking his own heart.

Rick fidgeted more after Brian rang the doorbell. He was not nervous about him because after all, he was not the one with this crazy notion of being a sacrificial lamb. If he didn’t know that Brian will punch him in the face until his nose bleed, he’s gonna tell him how pathetic loser he is for doing this. From what he knows about him, Brian is really gonna do something when he said he’s gonna do it. Especially now that there’s a burning of resolve in his eyes. In this state, Rick thinks that Brian might seriously go through with this.

Actually, he was surprised when he woke up this morning and found Brian sitting soberly at their apartment’s living room, looking very serious and gloomy. He expected to find him drunk to his bones as usual but it seems that the talk with Jenny’s sister the other day helped him decide what he wants to do. Not that the result made Rick any happy. Now that Brian’s sober and functioning well, Rick believes that he is about to do the biggest mistake of his life.

                “Oh, nobody’s home. Let’s go” Rick muttered two seconds later after Brian pushed the doorbell. He started turning around and retreating when something stopped him. Damn!

Brian held Rick’s collar and pulled him back,

                “No, somebody’s home. Can’t you see the cars in front?”

Rick glanced on the four cars park in the Wilfred’s house driveway, obviously stating that everyone’s at home. He sighed and turned back to face the menacing stare that he knew Brian was giving him and voilà, it was just how he predicted.

                “Brian, as your very long time best friend, I’m just concerned with your wellness and stability. I know that sometimes I say useless and stupid stuff. But––“

                “Change that to always” Brian interrupted.

                “Always it is. Anyway, I believe that the one doing a stupid stuff right here is you, my friend”

Brian glanced at the closed door and felt more than heard the incoming person,

                “I know what I’m doing, Rick. Just go with me, alright?” Brian uttered. Rick saw the vulnerable state that Brian was into and he couldn’t believe that his friend lowered his guard down this much that even him, who usually can’t read his emotions could see it clear as a day.

 Brian was just tired after all the things that happened these past few days. He believed that his body was finally taking its toll after the mess up stage it went through. He was very exhausted because of the big hang-over and horrible nights he experienced. Then he thought that he should just tell Rick whatever he feels just to get it off his chest.  They said that telling somebody about what you feel makes you better inside. And this might give him confidence he need before he talks to Jenny. He got nothing to lose so what’s stopping him?

                “I’m doing this for her and mine’s sake” he started, “She still loves him. I know that for sure. I saw it in her eyes, the time before last I went here, I heard them talking and that made my decision more firm. I don’t need to want this for me to actually do it. The only thing that she will experience is sadness if I stick around” He said softly.

Rick just stand there stiffly, letting his friend let everything out. It was unusual for Brian to reveal what he feels or what he’s thinking, so Rick listened to him intensely.

                “I don’t want her to cry anymore. I just don’t want her to suffer so I’m gonna go through with this no matter what. If giving my happiness means that she’ll find hers, then so be it” he affirmed.

After a few seconds of silence, he turned and casted Rick with an eye, “Maybe you can treat me for lunch in the usual place after this” he joked, his smile not reaching his eyes.

Rick just placed a hand in his shoulder and smiled sadly, knowing that he was trying very hard not to break down.

Then the door finally opened and they looked in unison. Brian was paralyzed for a while and loss for words but when he gathered the strength to move once again, he put a wobbly smile and said,

                “Hey, Jenny” he greeted.