Look At Them Now: A Jelena Ending

This Was All His Doing

SELENA'S POV

"Selena, it's time." Called Teresa from outside my hotel bedroom door. I closed my eyes as I breathed slowly out of my mouth. Once I opened my eyes, I stared back at a girl whose come such a long way in the past year. She's more alive, her cheeks flush with pink and her eyes are no longer consumed with sadness. You got this, I whispered to myself. Today is the AMA's and it's the first time I am going to preform lose you to love me live since it's release. Since Covid happened, everything got pushed back one year later. I haven't preformed live in such a long time, ever since my lupus got worse and I had to cut back on what I did. Since then, my anxiety got a little harder to control but I kept pushing. I grabbed my bag, heading downstairs and into the car where Christian waited for me.

Christian is one of my co-stars from a movie I'm working on and we've been hanging out a lot lately. We haven't exactly given ourselves a title but I did enjoy just being in his presence. He understood how much of a wreck I felt when it came to public events but he made it easier being by my side. I guess today we'll definitely make some sort of headline walking the carpet together. He wrapped his hand in mine as soon as I sat next to him. A small smile escaped my lips but quickly disappeared as I had to remind myself that I'm okay.

"Just remember you don't have to answer anything you don't want to and block out whatever you don't want to hear. I'll be right by your side, okay?" He reassured me. I nodded my head as I sat back, watching us drive down the street to the venue. When we finally got to the carpet, Christian allowed me to go by myself at first before the paparazzi bombarded us. He joined after, smiling into every picture we had together which made me fall into a pit of comfortability. Watching my surroundings, I gasped lowly at how much it's changed since the pandemic. Everyone was so close yet felt so distant.

"Are you going to be okay while I go grab us something to drink?" Christian asked once we entered. My eyes searched around for Taylor knowing she was in here somewhere. I was still holding on to his arm when my eyes landed on the last person I wanted to see. He stood, buzz cut, sunglasses and pantsuit that fit him oh too well. He wasn't alone though, the blonde was wrapped around his arm as she giggled about something. I involuntarily nodded my head towards Christian, my gaze still focused on the honey blonde haired man. Even with his sunglasses I could feel his eyes burning soles into my skin. It's been two years since I last saw him and he no longer remained part of my life, except as a broken memory. I was able to regain the ability to look the other way when I felt I no longer was in a Christian's grasp. My breathing felt short, and my vision blurred slightly.

I fanned myself as I stood there, my feet unwilling to move in fear that he'll be watching. Watching every step, any breath I take, the desperation in my eyes to look anywhere but him. No matter how much time you have to heal, some things you just learn to be without even when your heart feels heavy. I looked in a different direction for a few before turning back again and he was gone. Was it just my imagination fucking with me? I sighed heavily, removing the hair that fell on my forehead. I finally found the strength to move my feet to search for Taylor. It wasn't long before I felt my hand being grabbed by an all too familiar touch.

"Sel," he breathed which sent chills down my spine as I slowly turned around. I was met with what used to be my favorite pair of honey brown eyes. They no longer held the dark within but they weren't entirely clear as they once were. There was still a bit of uncertainty in them. This was not the same guy I was in love with before. Even moving on I couldn't help but hold a grudge against him. Just looking at him made everything that happened come flooding back into my head and my anger to arise. He gave me one of his sly smiles as he let go of my hand realizing it wasn't a private area. I looked at his hand before gulping and intensely staring at him.

"You have some nerve coming up to me Justin, especially here."

"I had to come see how you were doing," he sighed. He wanted to say more but was holding back.

"Look, I spent all this time trying to forgive you, forgive myself, being okay with what happened between us but I can't have that if you don't stop looking for me." My voice cracked slightly as my eyes pleaded for some freedom.

"I know I know, I don't know why I keep doing this but I still want you in my life somehow Selena."

"Do you hear yourself? You're married, we can never be friends. Not anymore at least." I shook my head. "I don't want to sit here in fear that I will continue to lose you nor do I want to be in between your marriage. I'm happy for you, really am and I hope that you're finding yourself with Hailey. I've got to go." I said as I tried walking away from him but he held onto my hand, keeping me faced to him.

"Selena please, just don't do this."

"There's no this Justin, I'm done doing this"I said pointing between us. "We will never be okay if we continue doing this." I whispered already fearing I was going to crack and my tears were all going to appear.

"I can't be happy with myself knowing how much I fucked up with you, even when god gave us another chance. If I could take it-"

"No stop, just stop. Don't you dare try to do the same shit you did with me to that poor girl. She loves you Justin, too much to go to great lengths to deal with your bullshit. But I'm sorry. I love and loved you too much to allow this to go on any further. Maybe someway down the road we can be friends, but for now respect my space and your own marriage." I said looking into his eyes.

"You will always have a place in my heart." He said but I had already spotted Hailey looking at us. I smile sadly at him.

"I know, I'm still healing and I wish you the best. Let's not make your wife angry, goodbye Justin." I said as I turned around.

"Please don't hate me."

"I don't." I said finally walking away from him and in that moment I could breathe. I felt like I was holding that breath in for the longest. I walked so fast to the point that I didn't want to be here anymore. It kills me that he still can make me fall 10 steps back when i've moved 10 steps forward. I can't and I wont allow it. No matter how much I love him.

It's like that cliche saying, if you love something, set it free. So i'm setting you free Justin, not only for you but for me. I deserved so much more.

I spotted Christian and Taylor together and hurried by way over to them. Taylor beamed at me but then her eyebrows furrowed in concern when she took a look at my face.

"You look like you saw a ghost, are you okay?" I nervously chuckled as I patted down my dress.

"Me? No, I was just feeling a little hot." I lied, pulling a confident face. I know Taylor knew me very well to know when I was hiding something but she also knew when not to ask me about it.

"Okay, come on let's get to our seats before it starts. I can't wait to see your performance." She grinned, linking our arms together as we searched for our seats. She sat on one side as Christian sat on the other, his palm laying gently on my knee for security. Of course my first time being back I had to be faced with seeing Justin again. I looked back at the area I stood with Justin watching as he talked with Hailey. Her arms were crossed, he looked tense and a few seconds later he walks away leaving her alone. My stomach turns in knots as she makes eye contact with me. Her face stays straight, evident my presence was bothering her and the fact that Justin just finished speaking to me did not help the situation. I looked away because she shouldn't be in the middle of this, this was all his doing.

I know one things for sure, in the next hour I was going to make sure to give a great performance and I wholeheartedly do not care what both of them will think.