Look At Them Now: A Jelena Ending

I Promise You

JUSTIN'S POV

Something inside of me strains a bit reading over her message. My heart skips a little like a deer caught in headlights and your foot hits the break like never before.

Everything has been perfect thus far, but my mind falls into the thoughts that maybe she's pulling back. Maybe I'm just overthinking things because I'm trying to make everything perfect. But what happens when you try to control everything in your life? It doesn't always go the way it's planned. I choose to leave her message where it is, letting myself know everything's fine and not to push it with her.

Alfredo's curious eyes are already staring directly at me. He's popping a grape into his mouth while he waits for me to tell him what I'm nervous about. I hated how he can spot the slightest subtle change in my mood.

"What happened now?" He pinches his eyes. Both arms propped on his knees as he leans forward waiting for me. It feels like seconds, maybe minutes that pass before I inwardly groan sinking into the seat.

"I don't know man. I'm just overthinking things that's all."

"Don't. The hard part is over and that was getting Selena to even come here, give yourself a little breather."

"I know, but last night things got a little heated."

"Meaning?" He says slowly, inquiring more information. It's not that I didn't want to say anything. Alfredo knew every bit and piece of our relationship but it feels different now. Like I want to keep things sacred in case someone tells me I was out of mind doing all of this.

"We kissed," I say quickly scrunching my face, not in disgust but more so in preparation to hear Alfredo hand it to me. "And if that worker didn't walk in who knows what would have happened."

"You guys would've had sex, big whoop." He says nonchalantly. My eyes shoot open, hoping that I was dreaming of his response but no. Alfredo sat there, no judgement on his face, but I could see the slight smirk forming. "She was your girlfriend before Justin, not like any of that is new. I mean it is a big first step during this time but who fucking cares, you know?" My body relaxes at his response. I nod my head in agreement or maybe I was trying to convince myself that moving things in that direction with Selena this early on was okay.

You ever wonder when you're with someone when taking the next step would be appropriate? For some it's a breeze, no thoughts circulating with what ifs. But for others like myself, I can't help but feel it might be overstepping a boundary we're not ready for.

"My vote is do whatever you feel is right and if that means having sex with her then so be it. As long as it's something she wants also, I don't see the problem." He shrugs his shoulders. I think she wanted it. Her hands falling perfectly against my cheeks and her long lashes giving me glimpses of her chocolate brown eyes that burned with desire. I'd be a fool to think she didn't want to be intimate.

Letting it all settle in, I stare blankly into space. The breeze feeling colder than usual and maybe that's because I feel that this was all just a stupid idea. I thought I could have everything in the palm of my hands, but the reality of it all is that I can't choose the outcome. We're on this island for one more day and that's not enough to replace the lost years between us. Will we even continue whatever's going on between us back in LA? It's doubtful knowing Selena. She cares a lot, even when it rips her apart and I should be the same way but you do stupid shit when you're in love. You think you're invincible, and every step you have plan in your head will fall perfectly. But no, I'm not in an ideal world where we get what we want.

"Stop it. I see it in your face dude. Where's the Justin that takes the leap of faith?"

"He's currently digging himself in a hole that he's not sure he'll manage to get out of."