Look At Them Now: A Jelena Ending

Don't Call Her A Bitch

JUSTIN'S POV

I watched her walk away, for the millionth time. By the looks of it, we were never going to be friends. It's hard to stay friends when you have such a long history, but a part of you feels you need to have them in your life. It's an attachment, a toxic one at that. Maybe a part of me yearns to still have what we had through a friendship.

The reality of it all is that all that shit doesn't exist. Exes could never be friends. It's a recipe for disaster. I clenched my hands as I shook the thoughts away, seeing Hailey strut her way towards me, arms crossed.

"What was that about?" She arched an eyebrow, an unpleasant look plastered on her face. I sighed heavily knowing this was not heading into the right direction and my temper right now is quite short. Hailey lately has grown extremely annoyed about this whole situation that she's taken it to a level where she doesn't even want Selena to have ever existed in my life.

"Nothing," I shrugged, continuing. "I was just saying hi and wishing her good luck on her performance."

"And you thought that was a smart idea, why?" She said pointing at her temple. She was growing infuriated I could tell, but did I care in that moment? Absolutely not.

"I was just saying hi Hailey." I say sternly, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.

"After everything? Why would you say hi to that bitch?" There it is. The venom laced in her voice as the words left her. Immediately I felt myself growing hot. She's my wife but I would never let her disrespect Selena and same if the roles were reversed.

"Don't call her a bitch." I growled.

"So we're defending her now? That's just perfect." She says sarcastically, throwing her head back in laughter.

"You don't have to act like that. You and I are married, it was a simple hello." I held myself back to avoid an argument.

"That's not the point Justin—" she tried to exclaim throwing her hands up but I cut her off.

"It is the point and I'm done with this conversation." I say walking away and towards the seating area. She doesn't follow me and to be quite honest I'm glad she didn't. I rather diffuse this now then to have anyone catch us arguing over this. I stood, never once seating when I decided to get a drink to get me through the next few acts. Hailey came later on with some friends but let them sit in between us through out the show. My leg shook as I continued pouring the content from my cup down my throat. The speakers boomed profusely, catching my attention onto the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Selena Gomez." The host spoke through the mic. My heart constricted at just the sound of her name. The cheers boomed from the entire venue, the room getting dark. I decided to stay where I was to watch her. She entered the stage, her glistening skin emphasized by the stage lights. A small smile appeared on her face, but I knew all too well she was battling something inside. Her angelic voice filled the speaker and the only thing that filled me was guilt.

In two months you replaced us,
Like it was easy,
Made me think I deserved it,
In the thick of healing

Hearing those lines a second time since I first heard it, hit harder. Watching her live just made it that much more real. She wears her heart in her songs and it just dawned to me what a fuck up I am. As if this song wasn't enough, I still needed more closure from Selena. I didn't even realize the song had ended being so deep in my thoughts and the tune in the background. The stage became dark; dancers scattered around and Selena disappeared in between them. With a dramatic boom, the whole stage shifted into a million different stage lights and sets. Selena now stood, outfit changed and completely fierce, something I haven't seen in a while. She started walking center stage with her confidence radiating off of her as she found me in the crowd and began singing again.

They found love one summer,
A little too wild for each other,
Shiny till it wasn't
Feels good till it doesn't
It was her first real lover
His too till he had another
Oh god when she found out
Trust levels went way down
Of course she was sad
But now she's glad she dodged a bullet
Took a few years to soak up the tears
But look at her now,
Watch her go

Every lyric was directed at me, I knew it. I didn't want to accept it, but if she couldn't slap me physically she sure as hell did it mentally. I stared at Hailey, seeing her shift uncomfortably in her seat through the performance. I should be there making her feel good but I didn't have the urge to in the moment. I was too caught on my ex dissing me on stage.

The rest of the night felt long, I didn't want to be here anymore. Thankfully, Hailey was occupied with her friends throughout the event that she didn't notice my change in character. My mood shifted. Every conversation I had after that performance felt like a diary. I sat and listened and gave small nods and smiles to make it seem like I was intrigued but the one person whose voice I wish was ringing through my ears was Selena.

I miss her. I miss her laugh, especially when I caused it. I just missed her being my friend. Before getting into the SUV with hailey, I noticed Selena and Christian. She held a smile so big, it caused me to smile. As she turned to head in a different direction she caught a glimpse of me just staring. Her smile faded into the night, her eyes went sad and I felt like I just fucked up all over again. She looked away quickly, disappearing into the black escalade. I jumped into the car, slamming the door behind me. Hailey shook beside me, feelings her eyes on me but she never said a word. We rode the whole car ride silent, reaching our house 45 minutes later. I left out of the car as soon as it stopped, not looking back once whether she followed behind me. I swung the front door open leaving it just like that, the California breeze making its way in following the heat left behind my feet. I found myself making my way to the bar, grabbing a glass only to fill it up with more alcohol. I swallowed it quickly, hearing the door shut behind me.

"I think we need to talk about tonight," Hailey spoke, a hint of annoyance in her voice. I turned to face her, my eyes lower than before as I stared at my wife. I felt a shift for a slight moment, as if this entire year flew out the window for me.

"I don't want to talk." I spat.

"Well I do!" She said, her voice heightened. "That was embarrassing Justin. How could you do that to me?" She asked, her voice shook slightly. Alcohol and I were never a good mix. It took longer for me to calm down whenever it was in my system and right now I could not find an outlet to do so.

"You're acting like I was pleading for her back. All I said was hi, maybe if you had a sense of security you wouldn't be feeling this way."

"You didn't give me that at all! Instead, you chose to defend her against me, your wife." She walked towards me, standing face to face. "I would never do that to you."

"I wouldn't sit here and disrespect someone who was once important to you." I said, looking to the side my eyebrows furrowing together.

"It was in the heat of the moment Justin, I'm just tired of all the comments." She said exasperated. "Try being in my shoes for once. I'm constantly looked at as the one who came in between you guys and ruined everything. I have to go through that everyday and guess what, I don't even get defended in that by you." I looked at her then, her eyes were sad and my gaze soften seeing her like that. I suddenly felt bad because the last thing I wanted was for her to feel like that. She made me feel like she handled everything well and I'm the idiot who couldn't even notice her struggling internally. I took her hand in mine, pulling her into a comfort hug.

"I'm sorry, you're right." I said into her hair. "I'm sorry I made you feel like that, I didn't see things that way." She let small sobs fall from her lips and I just held her tighter. This was the first argument we had about Selena and I didn't even make her feel safe. I was so upset at myself for what happened with Selena that I failed to catered to the person I'm actually married to. The one who has gone through my ups and downs the past year. I felt more like shit than I did before.

We stood there for a minute, me rubbing her back as she breathed on my neck trying to stop crying. It's evident that Selena will make sure to never cross paths with me again after today, she was strategic that way. I had to let it all go if it meant making my marriage last. I slowly put my lips on Hailey's head leaving a strong kiss on it and stared blankly at the wall in front of me. It another life we could have been, but in this life the universe choose to give me a chance with someone new. I just couldn't promise it was going to be easy, but I'll try the best that I can.