Chapter 2

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How utterly ridiculous for me. Aria Smith had and has every single thing she ever wished for in her tragically sad life, yet all she wants to do is to see how people brutally executed others. Welcome.

No. Not really. I never wanted to see any executions, I saw plenty, and the victims in each were me. Sadly I survived every execution: my parents' divorce, the death of all my grandparents, and yet I still never dressed as pretty as the people in the past did.

My subtle past obsession never really seemed to interrupt my life, but now all I could think about was it.

Our world is so far from previous years that they now have "time machines" they need to try out.

My mother calls it a simple experiment. Like everything else. Her own daughter was nothing but a selfish experiment for her, that she got tired of long ago. So obviously, this seems like it too.

But still, not that I'd need to pay anything for this supposed trip.

Though I could spend every bill in the world to travel to the past. I'd sell my soul, simply to see how pretty everything was back then. See how different the air smelled, see how different nature was. Nobody ever realized how badly I wanted to go to a ball, with a dress heavier than myself, how badly I wished for some servants to style my hair while gossiping. How badly Aria Smith wished to be born hundreds of years back in time.

But now, I can't even go back in time, and see my friends ever again.

After my parents' divorce, we had to move to another state.

Not that the divorce didn't break me entirely, it shattered my poor and small and little heart more than anything that was planned for me, and yet moving managed to stomp on my heart once again, affecting my soul too.

I had absolutely no one, when in the past, I could have had some servants to actually talk to. It just hurts. Hurts so bad that I have nobody, loneliness knocked on my door so hard it broke down and let the bad things in all at once.

I cannot be happy about getting the biggest room in our new "home". I cannot be happy about moving to a really developed and modern city. I can barely be happy about anything.

Except for my chance with that time machine. Who really cares about my mother's rules and obligations when I have the chance to go to a place I'd always wanted to ever since I found out about it? I don't even care that it might be more fake than all of my mother's personalities, I'd rather be looked at as stupid than the daughter of hers.

Every time I say something to her, she comes at me with her words about me not having any actual rights to intervene with her actions. It kind of hurts to see that my feelings are not rights, just these useless things God added into us that fill up the empty void inside of us. Nice logic, mother.

Anyway, about all the new things in life, no surprise that I also have to move schools. And like my parents always do, they sent me to this incredibly bougie school to hide the pain they're putting me through with it. Amazing.

It feels a little hopeless. Though it only feels a little hopeless, it hurts much more than that.

All I ever wanted was to travel there, and now I might have the opportunity to do so. All I ever wanted was to actually feel connected with people, yet I can't even feel connected with my own mother.

She feels more like a stranger than a mother to me, I never got to figure out why to this day, I'm more disconnected with her than I am with myself.

What other terrible things would happen if I would try this time machine thing out? Would I finally escape to the place of my dreams? Yes I would. Is that bad for me in any way? No, it would be better than anything else.

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