Secrets of the lost past

Chapter 9

If I’m honest, I thought travelling back in time sounded like a dream. But now, when I’m actually here, in the streets of my dreams, I see that it was a nightmare sugarcoated. I thought lies here were something only the wealthy were allowed to commit. But no.
I realized that when I went to my first ball, it was a ball only for nobles. Ella was the one who helped me get there. Another person, who is nowhere near a noble is Jasper. He was also there. With the help of Ella.
He kept trying to get in my head with how Darius is one of the worst people alive on this planet, that he’s a monstrosity come true. Just like how Ella always used to tell me. He always got mad whenever I mentioned him being a good soul, like I wasn’t allowed to say things like that. Because that was not in his plans of manipulation.
I’m not certain what to think about this. What could he and Ella want to do to us? What problem do they both have with us living our lives? Does spreading rumours make their whole existence, is their whole existence just to ruin the existence of others? Make them regret they ever walked the planet?
I could not believe someone like him would do such a thing. He seemed to me like he wanted to protect everyone. Even the most random strangers. Seems like his protection slowly shifted into manipulation, and I could not see, because I sugarcoated it. I sugarcoated the worst lies known to man.
I had tried my best to avoid Jasper, though it seemed like he was always somewhat close to me. Like he was following me, to say Darius is a liar instead of greeting me. Like that was his obsession. To bring him down.
That’s how it was that time as well. All I wanted to do was take a walk in the town’s park.
A park where birds sang, grass grew everywhere, there was no trash anywhere. It felt like that park was the perfect place to think about clearing Darius’ name and not paying attention to anything else.
Sadly I didn’t get much done, because my view had shifted into a place I couldn’t think in. The park was still the same, it was only one person that changed it.
Jasper was sitting on one of the benches, while I passed by him, trying not to look at him at all.
As always, it didn’t work too well. I did my best to not see if it was really him, but he had eyed me out faster. I shut my eyes tightly, walking a bit faster.
-This place is so nice, isn’t it? -he asked, standing up from the bench. -What brings you here?
I cleared my throat, thinking about him. But not on the bright side. I thought about his words, each filled with lies.
-I’m afraid I can’t talk right now -I responded, slightly lifting my chin. -Good to see you though.
I rushed away, wishing he would give up, and maybe leave me alone. But that’s not him. It never was.
-Since when are we avoiding each other? -he walked after me, automatically making me look at him.
-We aren’t, I think…I suppose I need some time to think about a certain thing. And you are the person that would ruin that right now, truly -I gazed up at him, clutching one of my fists together.
Jasper had the normal playful smile on his face, like he always did. But when I replied to him, it turned to a grin for a moment, then shifted to a face of worry. I didn’t think too much of it, he loved grinning only to show off his teeth.
I was walking away once again. This time, he didn’t just run after me, he also gripped my arm to pull me back. He didn’t need to use his eyes.
-How are you so sure I would ruin it and not help you figure it out? When did I fail you? When did I say something that hurt you? -he questioned, his cold fingers getting into my skin even more, causing goosebumps to go up my spine.
I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t have to either.
Out of all the people, Dimitry randomly showed up at the park. When I saw him, my gaze turned to him, and I felt like I didn’t need to worry too much.
When he saw me, he lifted his head and walked towards us.
-Darling, are you ready to go? -he questioned, stopping in front of us.
I looked up at him in pure confusion, for a few seconds I thought he drank too much that day.
-Oh, apologies, but you need to excuse us, we’re in a bit of a rush at the moment -he continued, visibly throwing a side-eye at Jasper’s attire.
With a single move, he freed my arm from his grip, placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth.
My eyes were already widened, but after that, it felt like they could pop out any time. He did it so effortlessly, like he kisses girls on a daily basis.
Dimitry put an arm on my shoulder, taking me away from the scene.
-What in the living hell is wrong with you? Wha–
-I think you should be thanking me. You don’t know me well enough if you assume I’d let you get brainwashed, and what’s worse, by a commoner -he said, calmer than ever, his voice accentuated by a russian accent that made most girls get on their knees for him. -Besides, only wealthy and mentally normal women get chances near me.
Okay. I get it that he doesn’t want to lose the people in his group, but from where did he know Jasper’s doing? What kind of psychic could he be?
He looked peaceful, it was as if he knew for sure he could charm me enough to never go near Jasper again.  With his free hand, he fixed his shiny hair, pulling a strand to the other side, with this chin higher than anyone’s could have been. And one of his arms was still on my shoulder.
-Could you bother not touching me, please? -I asked, trying to remove his arm from there. -If you haven’t realized, I have boundaries too.
He didn’t do what I said. He pulled me closer instead, with his fingers holding on to me much more than before.
He really enjoyed this. Not because he saved me from getting further brainwashed, but because he could do whatever he wanted, seeing that now, we have a “special relationship”. That I never knew of.
He enjoyed it because he could throw bad looks at a commoner’s attire, he enjoyed making fun of others’ status, like he’s such a big person for history. But sadly, he’s not. Not even close.
   -See how easy it is for me to do whatever I want? Now, it's exceptionally easy, considering that he’s still looking.
Insert fight scene w/ Jasper
Darius
This feels rather weird. Ever since Dimitry was painted again, he keeps meeting up with Lord Maximilian, he spends more time with him than he does in his own house. I remember they talked that day, and I have no idea about what, but I can sense something is wrong. Something that sounds like ethereal advice to Dimitry, something that sounds like great disgust to me.
Dimitry always took every advice he heard. Even the most disgusting ones, especially the ones saying for him to be a horrible person. Because he always wanted to be everything he wasn’t originally. Dimitry wanted all powers, including the ones that would make him throw up if he wouldn’t have been manipulated.
That was why he treated me the way he did. Back when he was a child, it was as if they romanticised his family to him. But when he found out from me, he desired to be like his family. To not differ from them all.
And I could sense that was happening again. Ever since talking to Lord Maximilian, he has treated his fiance even worse, he has drank even more than before.
All I wanted to do was get him to come with me to an orphanage to donate to them. Something I do regularly.
When I asked him, no surprise, he was talking to Lord Maximilian. All he did was nod, and sometimes add an opinion to what he was saying. Dimitry didn’t even see that I was right behind him, that’s how invested he was in hearing more and more words coming from the mouth of the Devil himself.
-Excuse me for intruding -I said, patting Dimitry on the shoulder. -Would you want to come with me to a nearby orphanage?
Lord Maximilian’s face descended, it almost looked like he was snorting.
Dimitry stood up with a face full of confusion mixed with horror.
-You’re joking. And touch filthy orphans?! -he screamed in my face.
I froze. I knew he was becoming a worse person day by day, but not that the process was going so fast.
He acted like that was what he thought of me as well. I had a normal place to sleep, yet that didn’t mean I wasn’t an orphan either. For a split second, I thought he referred to me as filthy too.
My eyes remained in place as my posture worsened a bit.
-You’re lucky Eira didn’t hear that.
I saw her in my head first, despite my tears desiring to rush out of my frozen eyes.
-I thought you’d keep in mind that I used to be one too -I said, feeling my cheeks red.
Dimitry grinned, putting down his cup of coffee on the table.
-I’m afraid money and status don’t change what’s in your blood, brother -he spat out, still grinning deeper than his words affected me. -You’re still an orphan, whether you think of it or not.
It felt like I was stabbed as many times as possible. Without knives, only with sharpened words, trained by the most reliable source.
He did drink some that day, but his words seemed to twirl out so easily from his mouth I thought he was sober.
-What happened to you donating to them the same way I do?
Lord Maximilian leaned back on his chair, grinning the same way Dimitry did. They looked exactly like a corrupt father and a ruined child, one mimicking the other’s cruelty.
                               Dimitry
After Darius stormed off, I sat on my chair, leaning back as I questioned my exact choice of words. Could I have said such a disturbing topic a bit more nicely so that he wouldn’t be as hurt by it? It was the sad truth after all.
-I hope he was joking when he said you used to donate to orphanages -Lord Maximilian said, drinking up his last bit of coffee and then standing up.
I loved how he didn’t pay attention to Darius being hurt. Maybe he was signaling that I shouldn’t, either. It would just probably go away sooner or later, like his childhood events did.
-He wasn’t. I used to donate every week -I stood up with him.
He was making his way towards the room my newest painting was settled in.
-Charity doesn’t deserve the amount you give them. Or, used to give them. I don’t want you continuing -he said, offering me a cigarette as we walked.
-You’d quickly sink down to their levels if you were to donate. I hope you saw that from some examples.
It seemed like he wasn’t letting me speak. He didn’t let me speak because he had way too much to say. I could see on his face that he was nowhere near done.
-I wasn’t planning on that -I spoke, adjusting my hair.
We made it to the room, Lord Maximilian continued as he opened the door:
-You should try and tell Darius to stop doing what he does. It’s not good for him, and his wealth either. It’s only for his better well-being.
But donating to orphanages was the main part of his well-being. Like it used to do with mine.
The painting was still standing like we adjusted it to, the beautiful artwork glanced at us. I looked at it, like looking in an enchanted mirror. But not quite a perfect one. I was becoming worse and worse each day, while the portrait remained as still as when it was painted. It could not be filled with more horrible actions, like my soul was. It wasn’t a mirror anymore. It was slowly turning into a good person when compared to the current me.
-Young man, -Lord Maximilian started, tracing the portrait with a finger. -Someone who allows themselves to get painted like this wouldn’t donate to worthless people. Worthless people that barely can afford a mirror.
And that was their best feature. They couldn’t see themselves, which was what I wanted. I didn’t want to see the horrible person I was slowly turning to. I only wanted to see other people, so that I would have from where to form my cruelty.