TERI MERI YAARI

~36~ I never left

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NANDINI'S POV:

I was trying really hard to stay calm as my ex best friend was trying his best to break open the emergency exit. It was ironic that the person trying to get me out of trouble right now is the biggest trouble in my life at this point. If I needed an emergency exit, it would definitely be to get away from Kabir. 

My life the past six months had been really smooth going, without any trouble at all. Well, minus the troublesome room mate part, everything was going on smooth like butter. Until now. My world turned upside down when the very nightmare of mine re-appeared in front of me, wrapped in an aura that looked as delicious as a forbidden sin. If Kabir was cute when we were back in school together, he's on a complete next level right now. His features have grown to be more chiseled and masculine. His chest looks so puffed I wouldn't be surprised if I find him filling his chest up with air using a pump. His shoulders were unbelievably broad and did I mention the veins on his hands? Yeah, this man was no longer a boy. He is exactly what I said, a fully grown man. 

Never knew even men could go so heavy on a post separation glow up. 

Then again, how foolish of me to believe that all of this is a result of our separation. It should be pretty clear to me that his life doesn't revolve around me at all. Though I felt pure rage surging within me when he returned all of a sudden after all these months, no shame written on his face. If anything, he had a shit-eating grin plastered all over his features. As if that wasn't enough to ruin everything for me, Mrs. Baylor had this absolutely amazing idea of forcing me to tutor that nutjob to help him cope up with his studies. And he being the jackass that he is, ate up the opportunity like a starved caveman. 

As if his dumb brain would understand anything I would teach him. 

But what frightens me even more is that small little thread of my heart that tugged slightly when his face first appeared in front of me. It is the same thread that tugged pretty hard when he held my hand and tried to make a conversation with me. I'd like to believe that I've fully moved on from him but I don't ever think I'd ever be able to move on from him completely. 

First love is always what it is, first love. No matter how painful, how scarring, you will never be able to move on from it. And this is where you need to question your strength. Even though you might not be able to move on from it completely, you need to keep yourself first. You need to keep your sanity, your self respect, your mental health first. And though a little part of your heart would always belong to the person that you loved, a larger part of yourself will always be in your control and you can do wonders with it. 

So this is what I did, am doing and will do with myself. Put myself before that little part that still sings for this very fine man in front of me. 

I was lost in my own thoughts when I felt someone tugging at my arm. Even before I tried to shout, I was pulled into a small, dingy supply closet and my captor shut my mouth using his hand. To tell that I was terrified would be such an understatement. I was completely freaked out. What the hell was even going on with my life?

I shut my eyes tightly, not having the courage to face whoever it was at the moment but when a soothing voice called my name out, I felt completely at ease. 

I slowly opened my eyes and upon witnessing the person in front of me, they opened up even more, I am sure they might be as huge as saucers right now. 

In front of me was a very naughty looking looking Bridget who held a different glint in her eyes that spoke "danger" out very loud. 

Nandini: What the hell have you been doing? Do you even realize how dangerous it is? What if you would get stuck here and no one would be able to find you? There's a freaking fire in the campus for god's sake-

Bridget: God! calm down girl! there's no fire in the campus. 

My heart beat started pacing at the mischievous look on her face. 

Nandini: What do you mean? What did you even do? 

Bridget: Oh I did nothing big. You don't have to worry about that. 

Nandini: Well you're not the judge of it. I am. So spill. 

Hesitation was purely evident on her face, suggesting that I was definitely not going to like whatever she has to say. 

Bridget: I was the one to start the fire alarm. 

Nandini: You what?! 

Bridget: I was the one-

Nandini: Oh shut up Bridget I heard you loud and clear the very first time. I was just showing my disbelief. 

She let out a very innocent giggle at my reaction and I have no idea what she found funny in it. 

Nandini: Seriously? You're laughing? What was even going on in your mind when you decided to pull of this stunt?

Bridget: Geez girl! You need to calm down. Take a chill pill. I did all of this for you after all. 

I had my mouth wide open. What in the universe which was related to me that propelled this tiny little vixen to pull off this stunt. 

Nandini: Care to explain?

Bridget: Well, I saw that good for nothing best friend of yours-

Nandini: Ex-best friend. 

Bridget: Yeah well, ex-best friend. I saw him trying to talk to you in the hallway outside the classroom. And by the look on your face, you looked as if you would be anywhere but here. So I did what a good friend does. 

Nandini: Yeah you just decided that wreaking a havoc in the entire campus would help me out. 

Bridget: Well, it did help you get away from him. 

I just stood there, gaping at her. None of spoke, silence surrounding the air around us completely. 

It was only a few moments later that we collapsed beside each other laughing. Putting our palms on each others' mouth so that our voices won't be audible. 

Nandini: Girl, I don't understand how people would consider you to be innocent. You are such a heathen with that baby face. 

Bridget: Hey! The best thing that god gifted me with is my cute little baby face. Better put it to good use. 

Nandini: Yeah whatever. 

I let out a sigh of relief as I made myself comfortable on the floor. Bridget followed the suit immediately after and made herself comfortable beside me. She laid her head on my shoulder and we just sat there in complete silence. 

As much thankful I am for what Bridget did, I feel equally worried and guilty for Kabir. If he really does worry about me anymore, then he must've been worried sick. He always was worried when something happened to me, irrespective of how small or big the damage was. Until everything changed a few months ago and he was the cause of the biggest damage that happened to me. 

No matter how guilty I feel, I am determined to stand for myself. It doesn't matter where he is, what he is doing right now. I need to take care of myself at this point and keep my distance from him. 

Bridget: So.. You wanna speak about it?

Nandini: Speak about what?

Bridget: about all of this. About how he appeared here out of nowhere, completely catching you off guard. About how you feel due to all of this. About what happened. 

Nandini: I already told you what happened. 

Bridget: Well yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't talk about what's going on in that head of yours. And if you want, we can talk shit about him so that you could feel better. 

I let out a tired laugh at her statement. I am so glad that I have this girl here for me. Supporting me in almost everything that I do. She reminds me of Shanvi. 

My heart feels a pang at the reminder of my best friend who's so far away from me. We do stay in touch through calls and messages but still, that doesn't match what we had when we were together. 

Bridget: So.. lemme ask you again. Wanna talk about it?

Nandini: *sigh* I don't know what to talk, Bridge. Honestly? I feel enraged that he's back after so many months. It feels as if everything that I've worked upon will be uprooted now that he's here. But at the same time, It makes me feel bad that we're here, completely safe, while he might be out there, roaming like a mad man in search of me. 

Bridget: How are you so sure that he wouldn't have returned and would still be looking for you? He might've thought that you left, you know. 

Nandini: I would be the happiest person on this entire planet if I get to know that he actually left. Because if he does otherwise, I don't know what I would do. 

I was so glad that she didn't ask for any explanation on the very last comment that I made. She just patted my head, gesturing that she understood the turmoil I had within me. Because I genuinely had no explanation to give if she would've asked me. 

I just know that if I go out of this room just now and find that the man of my nightmares would be out there looking for me as if his life depended on it, then the walls I have built around my heart might actually crack. 

Thought it will be a teeny tiny little one, something that won't even matter, it still would mean that I might cave in. And that's the last thing I want for myself at this point. 

Not being able to handle the weight of all these thoughts going through my head, I just closed my eyes and let the darkness embrace me. 

TIME SKIP 
NANDINI'S POV:

I woke up with a sudden jolt when I heard someone calling my name. As my eyes opened, I found myself in a very tiny little space, which sent a jolt of panic through my spine. I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust my eyes to the dark and when I remembered what happened a few hours ago, I relaxed knowing that I wasn't brought here against my will. 

That is when I noticed again that someone had been calling my name. 

Bridget: Girl! you're finally awake! God we need to get out of here. 

Nandini: What time is it?

Bridget: It must be around 8:00 in the evening. 

Nandini: What?! are you freaking kidding me?! 

Bridget: No. I am definitely not. We both fell asleep and lost the track of time. 

Nandini: Oh my god Bridge! what are we going to do?? The dormitory entrance would be closed by now! they won't let me in. 

Bridget: Girl why won't they? Don't you have that special time extension pass on you? I thought it would be enough help us both get into the dorm. 

Nandini: That is the entire problem! I left it in my room in the morning since I didn't have any extra work to do in the art studio. 

Bridget: Oh my god. What do we do?! I feel like puking. We most definitely can't spend a night at the campus. It gives me creeps! 

Nandini: Before we plan anything, we need to get out of here first. 

With a curt nod, she got up, followed by me as we both opened the door of the supply closet. I usually have the time extension pass on me whenever I leave my dorm room but due to the hassle I was in this very morning, I forgot to put it in but since I didn't have any extra work in the art studio today, I didn't bother to ponder much about it. Given my fate, I should've definitely assumed that I would take the best nap of my life with my best friend in a supply closet. 

How predictably predictable. 

We tiptoed our way into the hallway, trying not to make any noise. I have no idea why we were tiptoeing but this is what everyone does when they're stuck in a haunted place in all those movies that I've watched so might as well soak in the experience. 

As if Bridget had the same thoughts running through her mind, she started whispering rather than speaking in her normal volume. 

Bridget: What do we do now?

Nandini: We can do nothing much. We get out of this building, find the watchman and tell him that we were stuck in the supply closet while there was all that commotion in the afternoon due to the fire alarm. 

She didn't reply with any word but showed me an okay sign instead. 

In all of this mess, one thing that I was sure about was that Kabir would've definitely left. No sane person would stay in this campus this late. 

Just as we were making our way towards the gate, tiptoeing of course, we heard some commotion behind us. My breathing nearly stopped. 

There's no way I am dying at the hands of a ghost. 

Bridget: Was it only me or did you hear that too?

Nandini: Might be the wind. 

She gulped but nodded at what I said anyway. Because both of us were too freaked out to believe otherwise. 

We increased our speed as we heard someone following us from behind. No No No No No No. I am not letting a ghost kill me today. 

Bridget: Oh god I heard this building was haunted. It must be that student who committed a suicide. 

Nandini: Bridge, whatever that story is, Please save it for later. You are definitely not helping. 

Bridget: Oh my god Nandu what do we do if it really is her ghost? What if she wants us dead like her?

I was choking on my own sobs at this point and I had no idea what I would do. Though I was glad just a few minutes back that Kabir wouldn't be here anymore, I so badly wish he was here. I have no idea what's going through my mind but I definitely want him to be here. 

Why? even I do not have an answer to that question. 

Nandini: I so badly wish that Kabir was here. 

Bridget: I hate that ex-best friend of yours but I too wish that he was here. 

I was shivering badly as I whispered to myself.

Nandini: Kabir, Kahan hai yaar tu.

(Kabir, where are you?)

Just when I thought that I was about to faint due to anxiety, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked at my side to check if it was Bridget, but the horror painted on her face was enough to tell me that it definitely isn't her. 

I started praying to God as I turned around to see who was holding my hand but all I could see was a dark shadow and its eyes were green, shining so brightly in the dark that I started to scream. 

Beside me, Bridget started screaming as well. 

But both are screams were muffled as two powerful hands covered our mouths. 

??: Chup kar chudail cheekh cheekh ke mere kaan se khoon nikaaldegi kya? 

(Oh my god, stop screaming like a witch, my ears would start bleeding.)

That voice.. it definitely didn't feel like a ghost was speaking. But again how much did I know about a ghost?

I bit on the hand that was on my mouth which led to my captor letting out a hiss. 

??: Chudail bolke galti kardi. Khoon choosne waali chudail bolna chahiye tha. 

(I was wrong when I called you a witch. I should've called you a blood-sucking witch.)

I was shocked at the voice. It definitely wasn't a ghost. Its a human. And what's more concerning is that its a voice that I recognise very well. 

With this very new discovery that I made, I turned around to look at the person who was holding me a few moments ago. Though his eyes were still horrifyingly green, I could very well recognise the face. 

Kabir: Hey there, beautiful. 

I swear to god, I felt like getting down on my knees and crying out tears of joy. 

Nandini: You came?

Kabir: I always will. 

At this moment, I forgot all the animosity I had within me and just let myself sink into his chest. 

Kabir: Hey, calm down. Nothing will happen to you. I am here. 

Nandini: How did you know we would be here?

Kabir: I didn't know you were still here. 

Nandini: Then how did you come back?

Kabir: I never left. 

Something very thick clogged my throat when I listened to him speaking. But there was one more thing that was bothering me. 

Nandini: Woh tu nahi tha jisne mujhe chudail bulaya. Woh teri aawaz thi hi nahi. 

(It wasn't you who called me a witch. It wasn't your voice at all.)

??: Haan kyuki chudail maine bulaya tha usne nahi. 

(Yeah because it was me who called you a witch, not him.)

My head swiveled at the owner of the voice and to tell that I was shocked would be an understatement. 

Nandini: When the hell did you come here?! 

??: Well, I heard that the guardian angel was needed, so here I am. 

My heart swelled with emotion as I looked another one of my best friends here for me. In all the ways I'd imagined meeting him, this wasn't one of them. 

Nandini: Why didn't you inform me that you were coming?

Sid: Ever heard of something called surprise?

I began to reply him when we heard someone's muffled voice. That is when my eyes caught the struggling figure in Sid's arms. 

Bridget. Shit. We forgot about her. 

As if on cue, Sid let go of Bridget and she started gasping for air almost immediately. 

Sid: Hey! are you okay? I am sorry I got carried away. 

Bridget: Yeah well don't you think it was too casual? I would be carried to heaven if you hadn't let go of me just now. 

Sid: woah, a feisty little thing you are. Listen, whatever your name is, if you have a bad lung capacity, try practicing breathing exercises rather than shouting at the man who saved. 

Bridget: Oh I am so sorry, sir. I don't really have a habit of getting choked. 

Sid: We're getting kinky now, are we?

When I looked at Sid's face, I could notice a different type of interest on it. He had a smirk plastered on his, which he always has, but there was a different glint to it today. 

Bridget: eww! girl, do all your friends have their minds in the gutter?

Sid: No, we use that side of brain when we deal with people like you. 

Bridget: Congratulations on the most original reply I've ever heard. 

Sid: You're welcome for thanking me for giving you what you could handle. 

Bridget's face was red with fury and before this argument could continue, I spoke, trying to dissolve the matter at hand. 

Nandini: As much interesting it is to watch you people argue while we're stuck inside this building, we need to find a way to get out of here. 

Kabir: You don't have to worry about that. I've broken down the emergency exit. We could directly go out from there. 

I nodded at what he said and then started to follow him. That is when I notice, he was still holding my hand. And much to my irritation and surprise, I didn't feel like asking him to let go. It irks me up that he's still the safe place that he was. 

Bridget: Why were y'all's eyes green anyways? you people definitely didn't look like you were humans. 

Sid: We were trying out different eye colors using lenses. Bonding activity between brothers and all. You should try it sometime too. Much better than using your claws at people. 

Bridget: Very funny. 

Kabir: Alright, you guys need to stop. 

Nandini: But seriously though, why were your eyes green?

Kabir: Because they're night vision lenses. 

Bridget: They're what?

Sid: Someone needs to train their ears as well. Don't you have an experience of hearing just like you didn't have an experience of being choked, little pie?

Bridget: Nandini, I swear if this friend of yours doesn't shut up, I might actually use my claws to rip his tongue off. 

Kabir: Oh shut up. Stop quarreling as if you're five year old kids. And yes, Bridget. These are night vision lenses. We found them at the physics lab. 

We were all silently walking when I slowly whispered to Kabir. 

Nandini: Why didn't you leave?

Kabir: Because I had a feeling that you were still somewhere in there. 

Nandini: But still, it could be dangerous. 

Kabir: Doesn't matter. I would go to any lengths to save you. 

All of this was too much to take for me. It was just his first day here and all of this was going on too fast. We need a break. A change of topic. 

Bridget: Wait. Where do we go?  We definitely can't get inside the dorm at this hour. 

Sid: Why? its just 8:30 pm. 

Bridget: The rules here are strict. The deadline on weekdays is 7:30 pm to get inside the dorms and on weekend its 10:00. 

Sid: So what are we going to do now?

I halted on my steps, making Kabir halt as well. 

Nandini: She's right. We have no where to go. 

Kabir: I am taking you with me. You will never not have a place to go when I am around. 

Panic started to fill my chest. No matter what, I can't go with him. 

Nandini: No, I can't go with you. Its out of scene. I am definitely not going with you. 

Kabir: Quit arguing Nandu. For once, be logical. This is the only option left. 

Nandini: No ways! this can't be the only option left. And even if it were, I won't leave Bridge here-

Kabir: She can come with us as well. 

Bridget: uhh no, I am definitely not coming with you. In fact, a cousin of mine lives at a nearby distance. I could go to him. I would invite Nandu to come with me, but since you're not really comfortable with strangers, especially strangers that are men, I didn't offer. You can still come with me though, if you don't want to go with him. 

Kabir: Yeah as if I would allow her to stay at a strange guy's apartment. 

Nandini: You're no one to allow me-

Sid: Go with him, Nandini. 

I couldn't believe what this man was saying. He's seen everything I've been through. He was with me when I went through it. And yet, he's asking me to go with Kabir?

Nandini: You've gotta be kidding me. 

Sid: Its the only logical thing to do! I would anytime prefer you staying with him rather than any strange guy. And I would've invited you but I live in a frat house. Yeah and I am not letting you stay over at such a place where I myself don't trust the guys I live with. 

Nandini: But there's gotta be something-

Kabir: Bas kar yaar Nandu. Itna toh yakeen kar. Kuch galat nahi karunga tere saath. Naa hi kisiko kuch galat karne dunga. 

(Stop it Nandu. At least have some faith in me. I won't do anything wrong to you. Neither would I let anyone do wrong with you.)

At that point, All I could see was sincerity in his eyes. I couldn't help but nod. 

I don't what know what was happening in my life. Everything felt settled and firm until today morning. And suddenly, here I am, walking with the guy whom I'd sworn I wouldn't get close to. In fact, I was going to his place, putting blind faith in him. 

Who was I even kidding. He wouldn't hurt me. Not physically at least. 

Mentally though? We've all seen what he's already done. 

I just let him hold my hand and keep walking as I've got no other choice. 

Dear god, don't let my defenses weaken. Keep me strong. Keep me rooted. 

Most of all, keep me immune to this man. 

With all my prayers being said, All I did was hope that the destiny wouldn't repeat what happened with me in the past. 
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