Colby fell first, Sam fell harder
Colby and I have been hooking up lately. But we're back in Kansas, with our families, and god, I miss him. I text him to meet me at the warehouse. I'm waiting upstairs when I hear him enter. Colby comes upstairs.
"Hi, Sam. What's up?"
"I needed you. Bad," I say.
"Seriously?"
"Yes," I say.
"No," he says.
"What?" I ask.
"I'm not having sex with you anymore," he says.
"Why?"
"Because I feel like you're using me," he says.
"What? That's crazy," I say.
"Come on Sam! You've been using me for sex every since you broke up with Kat."
"That's not true," I say.
"I thought maybe you would finally realize but I was wrong," he says.
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"I love you, Sam! And I've loved you for years. And I've been waiting for you to get a fucking clue. I thought since you and Kat broke up that I would have a chance."
"Well, that's your fault! I'm the one who got their heart broken. I'm the one who's trying to figure out how to be single and be okay. I needed an escape. It's not my fault you wanted more and that you love me!"
"Sam-"
"No, I'm hurting! I just need to escape my mind. And now you're saying you love me and want to be with me. I can't do this right now!"
"Sam, I'm sorry. It just hurts that all you want from me is sex."
"Colby, you're my best friend, my safe space. Of course, it's more than just sex. I chose you because I trust you."
He kisses me. I pull away.
"Colby, I can't."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you," he says.
"I need some time to process all this," I say.
"Of course, I understand," he says.
"I'll text you ok?"
"Ok," he says.
2 days later
S: hi Colby
C: hi
S: how are you?
C: I'm ok
S: can I come over?
C: yeah
I get in my car and drive to his house. I knock and the door opens.
"Hi," he says.
"Hi," I say.
"Come in," he says.
I enter and follow him upstairs. We sit down on his bed.
"I'm sorry," I say.
"For what?" he asks.
"I thought about things and I should have realized how you felt. I did use you," I say.
"Sam no-"
"I feel awful," I say.
"Sam-"
"I hurt you and that's not ok," I say.
