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138

“If there’s any white magic you want to use, tell me. There’s a lot of cool ones.”

Swan’s hand shone with bright, pearl-colored white magic. His arm was covered with suppression bracelets, but he still had so much magic left. I was so jealous. I couldn’t even use the magic that I had because it was still sprinkled with black magic.

“Can I call you over when I’m bored?”

Swanhaden turned his head to stare at me at my question. After a few seconds, he turned his head back to stare right in front of him. He slowly nodded.

Swanhaden, who had always been kind of uncomfortable to be with, was becoming more and more comfortable these days. I still felt a bit awkward next to him because we didn’t talk as much as I did with my other friends, but we had been involved in so many different things together that we were becoming close.

At his insistence for me to use any kind of white magic that I needed whenever, I remembered something and spoke up.

“Swanhaden.”

“What.”

“I’m tired.”

Swanhaden smiled slightly as he snapped his fingers.

I could feel strength flowing back into my body and was awed by Swan’s white magic. When I asked if I could use it often, Swan looked surprised before smiling.

It was a pretty, casual smile.

____________________________

I couldn’t help but let out a sigh when I remembered how Eric had clung to me earlier. After changing out of that sheer, short outfit and returning back to the hall, I took out my checklist notebook from my bag.

“I couldn’t fill it all in the end….”

If I had just filled up one more box, then I would’ve filled up the first page of my dating checklist. The reason why I still wanted to date Eric even if I had lost all interest in him had been because of this. I knew it was a trash move, but so was he.

If I had just checked off the ‘Get to 100 days’ in my checklist, then I would’ve filled up all of the items on the first page of my list.

I suddenly remembered something that had happened before I died.

In my past life, there had been a time when I had seriously, solemnly wondered about my future, right before I became a legal adult. Even after I had become an adult, I always thought that my main job was to be a guardian to my youngest sibling until they became independent.

My entire life consisted of the responsibility I felt towards my younger siblings, and that meant that everything that I wanted took a back seat. I always thought that my wants were a luxury.

Because of that, anything that I wanted to do or accomplish had to be thrown aside. Responsibility was such a heavy, large feeling to me.

Instead of giving up, I made a list of all the things that I wanted to do to make myself feel better. I always told myself that if I didn’t forget it and wrote it down in a notebook, my future self would accomplish it for me.

Life was an endless mystery and had always thrown large curveballs at me, so I wrote all of my plans in a notebook. This was the same, for both this life and before.

First, my biggest goal was to have a safe and stable future. And then, planning long, mid, and short-term plans about that goal, checking each box every day, and completing those goals had become an everyday task for me.