Make it Till You Don't

Survivors Guilt

Tyreese's bite was gushing out more blood. I used my hands to apply pressure, seeing Walker blood dripping onto the pillow case I had.

"Hey what are you doing?" I asked as he began climbing out from underneath the table as I backed up, giving him room.

He stood there, clutching his arm. "I didn't know who I was talking to. I said I would do what I had to to earn my keep, but I didn't know you. But I know- I know who I am. I know what happened and what's going on. I know. You didn't show me shit. You, you're dead. Everything that you were is dead."

I glanced to Tyreese as he pointed in front of him. "Tyreese who're you walking to?"

"And it's- it's not over. I forgave her because... it's not over." He began sobbing. "It's not over. It's- It's not over." Tyreese hit his chest. "I didn't turn away. I kept listening to the news so I could do what I could to help! I'm not giving up. You hear me? I'm not giving up!"

"Tyreese..." I took a step forward, standing in front of him. "No one is here..."

Tyreese looked at me, but it's like I wasn't here, as if staring straight through me. "People like me- people like me, they can live. Ain't nobody got to die today." He collapsed against the wall.

I nodded my head, siting in front of him, wiping his head from his sweat. "You're right... you're not going to die, you hear me?"

"(Y/N)?! Tyreese!" I heard Rick shouting.

"IN HERE!" I shouted as the rest filed in the room, Rick grabbing onto Tyreese arm.

Knowing what he was going to do, I held Tyreese still. "You hold him!" Rick exclaimed, motioning to Glenn and I.

"I got it!" Glenn replied for us, helping me out. "Go!"

Michonne took out her sword, preparing. "One hit, clean! Go!" Rick told her as she swung the blade down, cutting his arm off.

I flinched as the blood splattered against me, Glenn and Rick picking him up as we rushed out the house. "Push it! Let's go!"

"Through the back." Michonne spoke up from beside me as we ran.

"We gotta break the chain." Rick informed us.

Making our way to the entrance, we saw there were several Walkers trying to push through. "We can use the bat." Glenn said, letting go of Tyreese.

"I got him." Noah told him, grabbing Tyreese as Rick let go to help us.

"Get ready!" Rick said as Glenn undid the chain, letting the Walkers in. We wasted no time in taking them out as I swung my arm around, stabbing as many as I could.

Glenn and Rick went over to help Noah with Tyreese as Michonne and I covered them until we made it back to the car.

"You gotta hold on, man. Hold on!" Rick shouted to Tyreese as we got him through the wired fence. 

"His feet! Get his feet." Glenn told them as Rick counted off.

I opted to lead the way, stabbing any Walkers as Michonne went to help carry Tyreese until we made it to the car.

As we got in the car, I sat in the middle with Tyreese and Noah as we took off.  I glanced over, seeing him glancing out the window as I placed my hand on his forehead. "You're burning up..."

"Turn it off..." Tyreese whispered, causing me to look at the others in concern, seeing they had the same look.

I glanced back at Tyreese, seeing his eyes were closed. "Ty?" I began shaking his arm. "Hey... can you hear me?" I felt my face drop as I began shaking him more. "Guys...! Hey, Tyreese!"

I looked over to Rick, who was looking at me, causing me to shake my head. Rick looked away, pulling over as we all piled out, pulling Tyreese out the car.

———

"We look not at what can be seen, but we look at what cannot be seen." Gabriel spoke, reading from his bible as we each took turns throwing a shovel of dirt in Tyreese's grave. "For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal."

When it was my turn, I took the shovel from Tara's hand, walking over to the dirt mound. I took a shovel full and stepped up to the hole, staring down at it, where Tyreese's body lay, wrapped up in a sheet.

I gripped the shovel tightly in my hands as I let the dirt go into the hole, standing there for a moment. I felt a hand on my back, causing me to turn, seeing Daryl had stepped up. I looked down at the ground, handing him the shovel as I walked over to stand back like the others.

As Daryl threw his shovel of dirt into the hole, he walked over to Sasha, holding the shovel out for her to take before walking to stand beside me.

"For we know that in the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made from hands, eternal in the heavens. In the heavens." As Gabriel finished up, Sasha threw her dirt into the hole, dropping the shovel and slowly walking off.

Rick picked up the shovel, finishing up burying Tyreese as the rest walked away. "Come on... let's get you cleaned up." Daryl mumbled, placing his hand on the lower part of my back.

Glancing down, I realized I was still covered in blood, causing me to nod slowly as I walked with him. I didn't ask where we were going as Daryl eventually led me to a small creek not too far into the woods.

I stood still as he walked over to it, taking a bandana from his pocket and drenching it with water. He turned to me, motioning me over as I walked closer. He took the bandana and began wiping at my face before working on my hands.

"If I had just-" I stopped myself, swallowing any spit to coat my dry throat. "If I had just went with him into that room... maybe I could've prevented it."

"You did what you could." Daryl replied, grabbing my other hand and began wiping it off.

I shook my head. "I told him to go ahead. That's on me." I felt my lip tremble as my throat started hurting. "I was right there- I had to watch, unable to do a thing."

Finishing up with my hand, Daryl let it go, bringing me into an embrace, not saying anything. I returned the hug, burying my face in his vest. "How many?" I whispered out.

"How many wha'?" He asked, looking to me confused.

I brought my head up, returning his gaze. "How many more are we going to lose?" I frowned, tears stinging my eyes. "Sophia, Dale, Jimmy and Paritcia, T-Dog, Lori, Oscar and Axel, your brother, Andrea, Zack, everyone at the prison, Hershel, Bob... and now both Beth and Tyreese."

Daryl was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. I know he was trying to remain strong, but each death took a toll on him as well, whether or not he would like to admit.

Not waiting for a reply, I shook my head, wiping my eyes. "Sorry, I'm rambling." I backed away turning to walk away, nudging my head in front of us. "Come on, we should head back."

———
Published: 03/20/2025