Maddie's POV
Mothers day was weeks ago and after a teary goodbye, my aunt's and cousins went back to England.
It was hard saying goodbye to them. I hate that I don't live close by to everyone anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love living with mum but I just miss everyone else. I miss our Sunday's meals together, and how I went to the same school as Lily and Leo.
Last week had been the hardest week. I just haven't had the energy to do anything. It feels like everything is just a repetitive cycle. Wake up, go to school, dance practise, get home, eat, sleep. Everything is the same, everyday. I just feel so exhausted.
It's Monday, 8:30, and I was suppose to leave 20 minutes ago and yet I'm still lying in bed. I have so much school work I need to get done and I have a big competition nearing and I still haven't leant the choreography. Just thinking about the things I need to get done, makes me want to cry.
It doesn't help that I'm not sleeping, My sleeping pills aren't doing there job. I don't even get why I have to take them if they don't work. If I tell dad that they don't work, he'll make me talk to a therapist so they could diagnose me properly and give me medication that works. Even though, that would help, I don't like talking to people about my feelings, and I tend to just lie to get the sessions over and done with. They don't work for me. Nothing works for me. My head is just one big mess and at this point I'm used to it.
I just want to sleep without waking up crying and in a panic. I just want to sleep without the nightmares, without seeing his face.
I feel like I should tell mum, but I don't want to worry her. If I tell her about the nightmares then she'll start asking questions, questions I don't want to answer.
"Maddie, mommy said that if you don't come downstairs now, you'll have to get the bus" rose tells me. I pull the cover over my head and hide my face in the pillow.
I hear the front door close and then eventually the garage door being opened. Mum must have left without me, Which means she's going to be annoyed when she gets home and finds me still lying in bed. I hear four notifications coming from my phone, all from mum.
Mum😘: Are you out of bed? Xx
Mum😘: Are you okay? Xx
Mum😘: Maddie?? Xx
Mum😘: I want to talk when I get home. You've been off recently, you can talk to me Maddie. Xx
Maddie❤: I'm fine. We don't need to talk, I'm just not feeling well today, so I didn't want to go to school. I'm fine xx
I turn my phone off and place it in the draw.
I know lying to her isn't going to help anything but I don't want to tell her the truth. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep for the hundredth time.
Scarlett's POV:
Maddie's been off these past couple of days. At first I thought that it was because she was still upset about everyone leaving but I don't think its that anymore.
After Maddie refused to get out of bed, I decided to just leave her and take rose to school. I think giving her some time to think, will help.
Once I get home I make myself and Maddie a drink, before going to check on her.
I open the door to her room and make my way to her bed. She lying down, curled up in a ball, fast asleep. I sit next to her and move her hair out of her face.
She wakes up at my touch and stares up at me.
"Hey baby, how we feeling?" I ask her.
"I'm okay" she replies and slowly sits up.
"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me" I tell her. She nods her head and gives me a small smile.
"I'm fine"
I nod and press the back of my hand to her forehead.
"You don't have a temperature honey" she nods her head and lies down, pulling the cover over her head.
"Maddie I can't help you, if you don't tell me what's wrong"
"Why do you think that something is wrong? I've said I'm fine, why can't you just leave it." She mumbles.
"Because I can tell when someone is lying to me"
"Just drop it okay! Please just drop it mum" she says getting frustrated.
"Maddie" I know I'm pushing it but I think if I don't push, I'll never get anything out of her.
"I'm not sleeping okay. I'm not sleeping and I'm tired. Mum, I am so tired and I just want to sleep" she blurts out.
"Why aren't you sleeping?" I ask confused. I thought she takes medication to help her sleep. I mean I don't know why she needs to take medicine to sleep. I know that I struggled to get her down to sleep when she was younger but you would have thought it would have gotten easier by now.
"I just.. I just can't sleep. I've been having more nightmares and I.. I don't want to sleep because if I sleep then.." She stops.
"Then what?"
"It doesn't matter forget I said anything" she says moving to stand up. " I'm just going to go to school now" I pull her to sit back down.
"Then what?" I repeat. She shakes her head and stares at her hands.
"It's nothing really. It's something that happened a long time ago and I'm over it. It doesn't matter"
"Maddie, it does matter if its stopping you from sleeping"
"No it doesn't, look my aunt's know, it's fine"
"But I can't know?" She shakes her head.
"No because your going to feel guilty and you don't need to because it wasn't your fault"
"Maddie please just tell me. Your worrying me now"
She takes a deep breath and sighs.
"When I was 10......."
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