The Girl With The Blue Eyes (Killian Jones) #1

Chapter 24 This Is My Burden To Bare

~Storybrooke (Present)~

I woke up to the feeling of someone touching my shoulder gently. My eyes fluttered open and I was looking at the ceiling in the shop. My father was on the floor next to me, his face full of concern. 

"You need to warn me next time." I mumbled and he helped me sit up. My head was throbbing and I leaned against the desk. 

"I didn't know that would happen. Did you remember anything?" I shook my head. 

"Not that I can recall. Everything is still fuzzy." 

"It must not have worked then." He pointed out. 

"Unless there's some sort of delayed effect." I shrugged and carefully stood up. "I guess I'll just head out then. Before I go, since it didn't work this means the deals off." I watched him as I waited for a response. I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. Sometimes he's good at hiding his emotions. 

"I guess that's it then." He said and waved me off. He walked to the back of store without another word. I stood there completely lost. Maybe what he wanted me to do wasn't some sort of selfish act. I walked out of the shop and made my way back to the ship. I didn't know what else to do. There wasn't much to be done. No current threat besides Regina. Though I think she'll be staying away for now. I walked up to helm and put my hands on the wheel. Trying to remember the feeling of being on the open sea. The waves crashing against the boat. Trying to evade other pirates. Most of all, my hand being on Hook's shoulder as he sailed us to another port.

I made a bottle of rum appear and I took a sip. When I did, my stomach started to feel very uncomfortable. Usually how it does right before my period. I rubbed my stomach until the feeling passed. 

"Hey. Is it alright I come aboard?" I turned to see Emma standing down at the bottom of the steps. The wing blowing her hair all around. I didn't really want to talk to her, but she's not the type to walk away easily. I moved my head to motion for her to get on. 

"How's Mary Margarette?" I asked, not looking at her. 

"It's hard to say. She's been through a lot." I nodded. 

"Haven't we all?" I asked as a rhetorical question. My voice was monotone. We were both silent. I didn't have anything to say, but when I glanced at her it looked like she was reciting a novel. 

"You were right about a lot of things. I judged you way too fast. All you've done is help and for the way I've treated you, I apologize." She thought for a moment. "I've made mistakes too." My hands slid off the wheel and I turned to face her. 

"I know I'm not a good person, but I'm not evil like my mother. I want to do better, but when you're in love with a pirate who has a dark past like I do, it's a difficult thing to get passed." She agreed. 

"I'm sorry for leaving Hook behind. I was thinking about my family and not how it would effect you." 

"You didn't know me. I can't blame you for that. It's the lying about it that ticked me off. Sometimes, bad things happen and people get hurt or left behind, but I don't like being lied to. I spent a lot of time during mine and Hook's relationship lying about who I was. He still doesn't know Rumple is my father. I want to change it, but I'm terrified of the outcome." 

"I lied to Henry about who is father really was." She confessed. "I told him he was a firefighter because I never thought I would see him again. I wanted to forget that part of my life." I was shocked, but I understood. 

"So, that's what happened in New York." I stated. "I want to forget my past too, but it's part of me. It always will be. I try not to give into the temptation, but I've got so much power inside me that I lose control. Hook helps me. If he wasn't there that day to stop me, I would have roasted you or threw you into the walls a few times." She chuckled.