Meeting the Cousins in Michigan

229 48 33
                                        

As many of you know, I am currently visiting relatives in Michigan until AFTER the Fourth of July weekend celebration (why I haven't been available for chatting much). I recently met my four 3rd cousins (the kids of my mother's cousins) and I have come to a realization.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. MY WHOLE FAMILY IS LITERALLY A BUNCH OF FREAKING PSYCHOPATHS. YES, PSYCHOPATHS.

Nine-year-old Maddie & seven-year-old Helena: these two sisters have so much energy that I was so tired after playing with them for ten minutes. They conspire to take over the world on a daily basis, and they showed me their elaborate plan to do it. Scary thing is, it might just work. They're 9 and 7.

Two-year-old Dorian: he's a cutie, but he refuses to play anything but soccer and gives me weird looks occasionally. And by occasionally, I mean as often as I breathe.

And then there's Dorian's six-year-old sister Alicia. I sat there and watched her bludgeon a poor Barbie on the ground for a whole hour screaming "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!" over and over again, meanwhile I'm just like: O_________O

So apparently even my third-cousins that haven't even hit double digits in age are ALSO psychopaths.

...I'm scared. I should go lock myself in a closet and tune out the world by writing something.

The Book of SeseWhere stories live. Discover now