TPOT has been cancelled due to health risks, and Two does their best to be optimistic. Receiving support from friends can sometimes lead to more problems
Warnings!!
This book contains gore, violence, themes of ED's and other disorders such as BPD a...
warning! This chapter contains mentions of self harm and drugs
X was always supportive of me, helping me in all my lowest points. He was always smiling around me, being happy, but I saw past that. I could see that he missed Four. He would sleep with a pillow hugged tightly in his arms, I would notice that most of the food he cooked was some of Four's favorites, and X always seemed sad when I sat somewhere Four used to normally sit.
It made me feel horrible. I knew that if I had never gone to them for help, Four and X would still be happy together, and Four would be a good person. I don't know why I brought out the worst in him... X never said he was upset, but I knew.
One particular night, I thought about it all again, long and hard. I sat there on the couch, staring at my scarred knees. I deserved that. And I deserved so much more. I was unfairly spared by Four, when he could have killed me at any moment. I was the one that pushed him.. He wasn't a bad guy, he just never wanted anything to do with me.
I was pissed. Not at Four for hurting me, not at X for saving me, but at myself. Why didn't I stop when I should have? Thoughts ran through my mind, I had an itch beneath my skin, to make it worse. But it would be impolite to do that in someone else's house... plus, I still had an image to uphold!
I bit my lip, trying to distract myself from my thoughts as my fingers dug into the couch cushion. I had never gotten such a strong urge before, this was probably the second most scary moment of my life. I felt like I was shutting down, trying to keep my nails dug into something that wasn't my own skin.
I felt horrible, I felt guilty, I felt filthy, I felt disgraceful, I felt-
I felt my phone buzz.
That finally snapped me out of it as I looked down, my teeth letting go of my sore lip as I pick the phone up. I smile, seeing a message from Gaty. "Hey" She had sent. This would do for now.. We talked for a little bit before she finally dropped the question. "Wanna hang out?" "ofc!" Sweet, finally some plans. Maybe this would be a good distraction from everything.
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We talked out a few details and I was going to go pick her up. I get in my car, driving to her place. As I knock on the door, it's opened and I look down with a smile, but her smile quickly fades as she looks intensely at my eyes. "Oh. Anyway- uh! I'm ready." She walked out, quickly brushing it off.
We went back to my car, and I was pretty comfortable with our silence before it got broken. "Oh, omg, did you hear that Four got arrested????" She turned to me. "Uh-... yeah!" I replied. "Apparently he had illegal drugs or something! I mean, I always knew he'd be the type but i never thought he'd get caught!" I glance at her, raising an eyebrow. I didn't want her to believe something that wasn't true, but I didn't want her to worry about me.
"Oh, uh- no, he didn't have drugs.." "oh." We sat silently for a few moments. "I wonder how X is doing without him.." "He's doing alright" She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you still talk to X?" That confused me a little. I had been texting X even since before TPOT got cancelled... "yeah, why wouldn't I?" "I dunno, Four clearly didn't like you and he seems like the kinds guy to tell X to not talk to you.." "No, he- no.."
Even with my eyes on the road, I could feel hers scanning me over. It made me a little uncomfortable, but I knew she was just curious.. "What happened to your knees?" She asked. I cringed a little, desperately wanting to avoid this conversation. "I- uh- I fell..." Shit. why did I make it sound so suspicious?
