London, once blue, now red

It's a date

Isla's Pov

I have never hated being in a moment more than I do right now, I feel like the whole table's eyes are all on me. Why didn't I just grab some normal food and put it on my plate? I always have to be difficult. The air around me started to feel suffocating. Not again, for God's sake; all I ever do when I am with this team is have a panic attack. I try to calm myself down by going through all my senses, but my chest feels tighter with every breath I take. I close my eyes, trying to focus on anything else, but all I can feel is my heart rapidly beating, causing me to panic more as I pull at the neck of my shirt, trying to loosen the restriction that surrounds my throat.

Beth: "Isla." she says. I glance up at her with glossy eyes.

Beth: "Hey, what's wrong." she says as she places her hand on my back, rubbing her thumb back and forth.

Isla: "I.....I can't breathe." I managed to stammer out. I feel the tears start to spill from my eyes as I begin to gasp for air. I stand up and look around for the closest door to get outside. Everyone's definitely looking at me now. The fact that I literally look like a mess, but the gasping for air part also doesn't really help my cause. I feel Beth stand up next to me as she continues to rub my back waiting for my next move.

Leah: "Hey, what's wrong." She says as she makes her way towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder as I place my head against her chest.

Beth: "She can't breathe; she is having a panic attack." She speaks for me because I can't breathe.

Leah: "What can I do to help," she says, which is kind of hard for me to answer as it feels like my throat is closing. I stand up from Leah and walk towards the door, stepping outside, hoping it will help calm me down. I walk with shaky legs out towards the training field and lie down in the middle, closing my eyes as I focus on the sounds around me. I lay there for what I think was about 30 minutes. I don't really know, though. There are no clocks out here. I stand up and can't help but feel frustrated with myself. I wish I could just be normal; I don't know why my emotions have such control over everything I do. I let out a very loud scream. I'm not sure why. I guess I was just releasing some frustration as I decided to take my anger out on one of the metal men they have on the field kicking it. Shit, I say to myself as I clutch my foot as I am curled on the floor. Why am I so stupid.

Leah: "Isla, are you okay? what hurts?"

Isla: "Nothing, Leah, it's fine." she must have been waiting near the door for me to come back because she came to my side pretty quick, well thats cute.

Beth: "No, you are hurt; let us help you."

Isla: "No, it's okay. I'm fine. I can look after myself, but I might need a hand getting up, though." I say as I reach my arms up for both of them to grab as they pull me up.

Leah: "Are you sure you are okay? I'm going to take you to the medic."

Isla: "No, I'm not going to the medics it's nothing; I'm fine." I say as I start to walk back.

Beth: "Well, the limp you have would indicate otherwise." she says with a chuckle.

Isla: "I am not limping I say as the pain shoots through my foot with every step, but there is no way I am going to the medics."

I feel Leah come up beside me as she wraps her arm around my waist in an attempt to subtly help me without actually asking. I love this about her. She just cares so much about people, and even though I didn't want any help, she is still helping me anyways. We both grab our bags from the lunchroom and head out towards our cars. I grab my keys as I press the button to open the boot.