London, once blue, now red

I'm so broken

Isla's Pov

The first therapy session had arrived sooner than I had anticipated. I sat in the small, comfortable room with Alessia beside me, feeling a mix of anxiety and determination. The therapist, Lily, sat across from us with a warm and inviting demeanour.

Lily: "Hi, Isla. It's nice to meet you," Lily said gently.

Lily: "I want you to know that this is a safe space, and you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with."

I nodded, my fingers fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

Isla: "Okay."

Lily began with some general questions, easing me into the session. We talked about my background, my experiences with the team, and my recent struggles. I felt myself slowly opening up, feeling somewhat comfortable with Lily's calm approach.

However, the atmosphere shifted when Lily asked me about something I wasn't sure I would have to really deeply talk about.

Lily: "Can you tell me a bit about your parents and your relationship with them?"

I stiffened, my heart pounding.

Isla: "Why do we need to talk about that?"

Lily maintained her gentle tone.

Lily: "Sometimes, our relationships with family can influence how we cope with stress and other challenges. But if you're not ready to discuss it, we can focus on other things."

I felt a surge of anger and panic at the reminder of the awful experiences I had been through with my parents.

Isla: "No, I can't... I don't want to talk about them."

Lily nodded understandingly.

Lily: "That's okay, Isla. We can come back to it another time if you feel ready."

But the damage was done. My anxiety skyrocketed, and I felt trapped.

Isla: "I'm sorry, I have to leave," I said abruptly, standing up.

Lily: "Isla, wait—" Lily started, but I was already out the door.

I rushed out of the building, my mind was racing and tears were streaming down my face. I needed to get away, to escape the flood of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. I wandered around the grounds, finding a secluded spot behind a building where I could be alone.

Meanwhile, Alessia had been watching the session quietly in a corner of the room, her heart sinking when she saw Isla run out. She quickly thanked Lily and dashed after Isla. It took her some time, but eventually, she found Isla curled up on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest.

Alessia: "Isla," Alessia called softly as she approached, kneeling beside her.

Alessia: "Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

I looked up, my face streaked with tears.

Isla: "I couldn't do it, Alessia. She asked about my parents, and I just... I couldn't handle it."

Alessia wrapped her arms around Isla, holding her close.

Alessia: "It's okay, Isla. Therapy can be really hard, especially at first. You don't have to talk about anything you're not ready for."

I sobbed into Alessia's shoulder.

Isla: "I just feel so broken. I don't know how to fix it."

Alessia: "You're not broken," Alessia said firmly. "You're going through a lot, and it's okay to struggle. But you're also incredibly strong enough to even try to get help. We'll take it one step at a time together."