London, once blue, now red

First training

Isla's Pov

During the night, I struggled to sleep. My mind was racing with anxiety about the upcoming training camp. The familiar urge to use unhealthy coping mechanisms crept in, and I found myself unable to resist it. Quietly, I slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb Georgia, and made my way to the bathroom. I tried to talk myself out of it and to find a way to calm my racing thoughts, but the overwhelming need to feel something tangible won out as blood fell down the side of my arm. I felt a sense of relief as my worries were temporarily forgotten within the pain of something else.

The next morning, Georgia woke me up with a gentle shake.

Georgia: "Hey, you okay? Your eyes look puffy, like you've been crying."

I forced a smile, my heart pounding.

Isla: "No, it must be allergies. I'm fine."

Together, Georgia and I headed down to breakfast. As we entered the dining hall, Alessia waved me over to a table where Leah was already seated. I sat down across from Leah, and next to Alessia, I was trying to hide my partial exhaustion and the emotional turmoil I was feeling. I barely touched my food, moving it around my plate absentmindedly, trying to make it look like I had eaten a bit.

Alessia frowned slightly.

Alessia: "You okay, Isla?"

I nodded, not meeting her gaze.

Isla: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Leah, who had been chatting with a few other teammates, came up behind my chair and leaned over my shoulders. She spoke softly, her voice filled with warmth.

Leah: "Hey, you doing alright?"

I nodded again, trying to muster a smile.

Isla: "Yeah, I'm okay."

Leah squeezed my shoulders gently and kissed the side of her head.

Leah: "I'll see you out on the pitch." With that, she walked away, leaving Alessia and I at the table.

I was waiting for Alessia to leave so I could discreetly throw away my untouched food. But Alessia stayed, her concern evident.

Alessia: "You should probably eat some more. Training is going to be intense."

I sighed, feeling the weight of the anxiety pressing down on her.

Isla: "I'm fine, really. I think it's just the nerves getting to me."

Alessia gave me a sympathetic look but didn't push further. We both got up to get changed for training, the unspoken worry hanging between them.

In the changing room, Leah noticed Isla's quiet demeanour and pulled her aside for a moment.

Leah: "Hey, are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit off."

Isla forced another smile, trying to push down the anxiety that was threatening to overwhelm her.

Isla: "Yeah, just nerves. I'll be fine once we get started."

Leah looked at her for a long moment, then nodded.

Leah: "Alright, but if you need to talk, I'm here."

I nodded, feeling a mixture of gratitude and guilt. I really didn't want to burden Leah with my struggles, especially not when we both needed to focus on the training ahead.

The sun was just beginning to rise as the team gathered on the pitch. The air was crisp, and there was a palpable sense of excitement and nervous energy among the players. I took a deep breath, trying to centre myself and shake off the lingering effects of the previous night. I glanced around, spotting Leah, who gave me a reassuring smile from across the field.