Alyssa
Gross.
Gross.
Gross.I have zero clothes in my closet- okay I'm exaggerating- I have plenty of clothes but literally none that fit me. They are either too big or too small. I'm not going to show up to class wearing a tiny top that looks like something Tess's little sister could wear. I also don't have any money to my name and no way in hell am I asking my Mum for any.
It's the eighth week of school and I feel like my life is returning to shit- the only good thing apart of my life right now is Tess but she is leaving me in four weeks to go on a holiday with her parents. She deserves it though- a break- a rest.
I mange to find a top that doesn't look like total shit- a black spaghetti strap tank and I pair it with some grey sweatpants. I also put a sweater over the top.
Perfect.
When I arrive to biology class I already see Aiden sitting there- I'm practically stuck with him for the rest of the semester. Everyone has claimed their seats and it would be real bitchy of me to steal theirs.
I sit next to him he is reading a book- surprising. I continue reading Five survive it's so good, young adult thrillers just hit differently especially Holly Jackson's.
"What are you reading?" I ask him as I flip to the next page.
"Just this book. Someone recommended it to me, thought I'd check it out." His head is stuck inside the book- he looks enthralled.
"What's it called?"
He flips the book to the front cover. Five survive. My mouth practically detaches from it's hinges.
"Don't look so surprised Alyssa." He says.
"I'm just-" My eyes flicker down to mine book then his, "I didn't think you had the mental compacity to actually comprehend a book."
"I guess I've grown from when you first met me."
I scoff, he doesn't know half of it, "Sure Peters."
We both continue to read- we arrived to class two hours early to begin with. I'm nearing the end when Aiden closes his own, "That ending sucked." I shush him and when I finish the book I sink into my chair.
"It's so sad." I say. "It's like the ending to her other book."
"Damn." He says, "Really?"
"Mhm."
The professor walks into the lecture hall and begins her presentation on cell metabolism- as I note take I begin to feel drowsy. I ate an apple this morning- Tess made me then she walked me to class, she's like a controlling mother I swear. I hold my hand onto my temple and close my eyes. Sometimes I feel like a dark black hole is looming on top of me and I don't realize until it's too late and it bites me and spits me out.
Fuck it.
"Sorry miss I have to go to the bathroom. Emergency." I say as I rush out of the classroom.
I spend an hour in the bathroom and hang my head over the toilets edge the entire time, I haven't actually thrown up but if I do I don't want to get it all over my clothes. I close my eyes and lean against the stall- I don't even want to think about how many germs are on the floor. I have heard several notifications from my phone while I've been in here- I didn't check them though but someone defiantly called me.
A door slams and loud footsteps echo in my ear but I try to block them out by plugging my fingers in my ears.
"Alyssa? Are you okay?" I hear a male voice say outside of my bathroom stall.
What the fuck?
"Aiden?" I ask as I open the door,.
Of coarse it's him, who else would follow me into the fucking bathroom?
"What the fuck you freak!" I step towards him and point a finger at his face. "You just waltz into the women's bathroom like nothing is fucking wrong with that!" He takes a step back and I don't even realize how close I have gotten to him but I don't care because my mind is spinning and it won't stop.
"Women's bathroom. Jesus." I study him, "Guess you could pass as one though." I say with a slight grin that certainly doesn't match my face.
He looks shocked for a second- an expression full of hurt spread across his face until he begins speaking again. "You ran out of the classroom and didn't come back for two hours Alyssa!" He raises his voice and I almost jump out of my skin. I'm horrible at pretending- that's something I learned long ago- of course he saw me fucking jump away from him. He reaches his hand out towards me and I hit it away.
"You are such a creep." I mutter. "For your information I was only gone for one hour and I 'ran out of the classroom' because I'm on my fucking period." That's half true at least. I'm yelling now- I know that and I honestly couldn't care less.
He looks frozen on the bathroom tiles, "Oh. Um- I-"
I continue his sentence for him, "- totally messed that up? Yeah you did."
I walk out of the bathroom and slam the door behind me.
---
There is a giant stack of dirty dishes beside the sink so I decide to clean them up. I plug my air pods in and blast the neighborhood on repeat to help drown out my overwhelming feelings. It stops as I get an incoming call from Caleb, "Hello?"
"Hey Caleb, what's up?"
"A couple guys on the team are throwing a party, wanna come?" He asks.
Is it best for me to go at a party that will most likely turn into a massive rager?
Probably not.
"Yeah sure, what time?"
---
Thank you so much for reading! I love writing emotion, it's sad but it's- fun? For me at least. I also love the next chapter, I'm saying that about every fucking chapter at this point, oh well.
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All my love, Willow <3
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